Planning a great date.

Let me start by saying it's my opinion that both men and women want a loving, sexual relationship with someone special. None of this will make a woman want to be with you if she doesn't like you. It's simply a way to plan a fun date and keep things moving that way.

I'm sure many women will say I'm flat wrong. That is what the average woman says about this. However, this does work with the average woman. No one wants to believe that deep down we're all pretty much the same and are moved by mostly the same things. But, we are.

Alright, here it is. My guide for planning a great date that won't cost you a bank and everyone will have a great time.

Keep in mind the most important thing is her comfort level. You have to pay close attention to her body language and back off BEFORE she tells you to. It's like a dance where she is really doing the leading.


Okay, so you have sorted through all those phone numbers and eliminated the flakes. You have found at least one woman that trusts you enough to meet you someplace alone. Good for you!

The first thing you need to do is RELAX. She made a plan to see you. That means she likes you. You don't have to worry about that. It's your job now to form a real emotional connection with her. You cannot fake this. It has to be real. I can't tell you how to do it, but I can tell you how to make it easy to do.

The main thing she needs is time. She wants to talk and get to know more about who you are. So, DO NOT TAKE HER TO A PLACE YOU CANNOT TALK WITH HER. Like a movie or a loud bar.

It's going to take her about 10 hours or so, for her to feel comfortable enough to begin a sexual relationship with you. You could spread this out over two of three dates or, if you plan well, you could get it all out of the way on a single date. This is the way I do it and it's what I'll be talking about here.

Face it, we're men. We want to get to the sex as soon as we can. So, I like to plan a date with the end in mind. I want the date to end with her having breakfast in my bed the next morning.

Believe it or not, women want this too. She wants to have sex. She just doesn't want to feel slutty about it. It's our job as men to plan a date that eases her into sex in a way that feels natural. Like it's just the next step to having a great day.

The trouble most guys have is they either try to rush her or they leave everything up to her. Rushing her will only make her think she's on a date with an octopus. Waiting for her to make the move sends the single that you don't have the ability to lead the interaction and want to be a follower. Women are attracted to men leadership qualities. So, lead her gently all the way to your bedroom.

As I said, start with the end in mind. That means you should ask her to meet you at your place or at least somewhere close to your place. I like to start a date at some kind of little local place with a light atmosphere. A coffee house is good. It's even better if you have a few friends there that will say hello, but won't be a bother. This sends the signal that you are a cool guy with cool friends. It helps build trust because creeps don't have friends.

So, chat for a while at the coffee house. Just relax and vibe with her. Have fun! But, keep in mind that you need to break the touch barrier soon. This let's her know that you are interested in her as more than a friend. Just give her a little tap on her hand or knee as you make some point in your conversation.

Throughout the date you should be slowly escalating the physical contact. But, if she seems the least bit uncomfortable STOP! Rewind. Take it back a step or two and start the climb again. This will drive her crazy with desire if you do it right. But, take it very slowly. Nudges and high 5s to start and moving into one arm, side hugs later. This will help when you go for a kiss. It won't feel awkward because you are slowly building up to it.

You should plan the date to have three or four venue changes. This keeps things fresh , interesting and exciting. So, if she came to your place to meet you invite her in, but do not give her the tour. Allow her to see it and move things along quickly to the next venue.

After coffee you could take her to an art gallery or a museum. This is good because there are lots of things to see and talk about. Ask her what she liked the most and listen to her reply. Tell her your opinion of what you saw as well. You don't have to agree with her about every detail. If she liked the elephant and you liked the lion that's fine. Just be laid back and cool.

The next venue I like to be doing something. This could be shooting pool, bowling, playing darts or whatever. So long as it's interactive. It's alright to have a beer, but don't over do it. She'll be watching to see if you may have a drinking problem. Also you don't want her thinking you are trying to get her drunk. You shouldn't be trying to get her drunk!

After that it's time for dinner. You don't have to take her to a fancy French place with high prices. Just don't take her to McDonald's either. I have found that quaint little local places are the most charming. If they offer some kind of unique food or drink make sure you tell her about it. In fact, you should have already told her about it during the pool game.

You want to avoid asking interview type questions like “where are you from?” and “do you live around here?” Instead ask her about her future plans. Ask her about her career. Unless she's a waitress or something ask her what she finds most “fulfilling” about her work. This is a deeper question than “what do you like about your job?” It makes her think on a deeper level to answer it. And it makes her think “wow, this guy is really interested in my life.” And you should be interested in getting to know her on a deeper level.

During dinner you can bring up some cool thing you have back at your place. This is sort of planting a seed. It'll give her a reason to come back to your place later. Women need this. She knows the two of you are going back there for sex. But, she needs to feel like she's going over there to see this cool thing and sex “just happened.” I know, it's silly. But, that's how women are. So, give her what she needs.

If you notice her yawning or getting tired, order coffee. Or even better espresso. You don't want her feeling worn out.

After dinner I like to take a woman to a nightclub (not a bar) to see a band. Not a heavy metal or punk band, but a Jazz or Blues band. Again, feel free to have a drink, but don't over do it. If she wants to dance don't freak out. Just get up and do it. All you have to do is step side to side in time with the music. It's like tapping your foot to the beat. Don't worry about looking foolish. She likely can't dance any better than you anyway. Just have fun looking silly together.

If you have been slowing working your way up the touch ladder you may be able to find a good moment for a kiss. It should be in a secluded place in or outside the venue. Don't force it. It should feel like the next natural step. Relaxed and easy.

By this time it should be around midnight. Take her back to her car, but invite her back to your place to see that cool thing-a-ma-jig you have there. But, tell her you have to get up early and she can't stay too long. This will calm any fears she may have about coming inside. Again, she's not stupid. She knows sex may happen if she goes back to your place. Once she's there it's your job to make her feel comfortable with whatever happens. It's your job to make things “just happen.”

You really wish to impress your date?
1. Be a gentleman. (Doesn't mean being a wuss or pushover).
2. Show her a good time by doing something challenging enough for both of you to get involved with it.

The results will speak for themselves.

ATLANTIS you had to post this? Now I'm all hot and bothered......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................NOT!

Back off trouble...this one is mine

Be yourself and comfortable with who you are...confidence is impressive!!!

Be yourself!

I would rock this outfit most def.

your first problem is that you've already placed more value on her than you have on yourself by thinking that you need to impress her. why doesn't she need to impress you?
are there not things about you that you feel proud of? think of those things before approaching her so that you feel confident when you make contact. then, just converse and see where it goes. if there's a mutual connection things will work themselves out.
if you feel you need to impress the girl, you've devalued yourself and she will pick up on that. you need to put off the vibe that you are "the (expletive for poop)". women smell lack of confidence like it's a fart.


IMO


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