If you were a very neat and organized person, but you met the right gal. This gal is wonderful, but she is artistically inclined and a clutter-bug. Not a nasty/dirty type of person. She just has a lot of stuff unorganized.

Would you learn to deal with it? Or drop her back into the sea and look for another fish?

As long as she didn't mind me cleaning up the clutter and organizing things, it could work. I mean, in the begining it would not be an issue, but as the relationship deeped and we moved in together, then I would have to keep things somewhat organized and orderly.

um totage, i think she is saying she is not the type to clean up her clutter. some people have an easier time finding their stuff where they left it. . . right over there in the pile, not neatly stacked against the bookshelf.

Bummer that is me,
I am totally unorganised, I live in chaos and like it.
I am prone to things going wrong, getting lost, losing things, forgetting what i was going to do and just not really taking much notice of anything without it is directly in front of me, and then the chances are that I will trip over it rather than see it.

Anacondaarms, my fiancee, is pretty much the opposite, organised, tidy, and everything is in some sort of order, his stuff all has a place. ( well so does mine, but my stuff is just never in the same place but it does have a place..Somewhere).

but he organises around me, I dont mind him being organised as it sort of organises me, but i can live with his organisation,

I think that organised peole must have some sort of brain disorder that makes them remeber where everything is and makes them put things back, my brain just says dont worry about it..

So I can live with his organisation and he can live with my chaos, although he does seem to have to have a little order in it..

Anyone can put up with anything if they love you, and you dont make a huge deal of your differences, We just laugh it off, I will never ever be organised and dont want to be, he is going to be organised and i like that . so it works if you want it to

Yeh its horrid when you piles get moved, like they have only been there for a month why do they need to be moved. And they grow so nicely. Like little trees, starting out small and becoming huge and useful.

like ying and yang! Thats what it's all about...duhn duhn!

I'm more of a neat freak. My place doesn't always have to be spotless, but I never let a mess go more than a couple of days. I couldn't live with a "messy". But, that's just me.

Neatness should be mentioned well in advance of even starting to date. I tell everyone I keep a clean house but I am not obsesive about it. Things go in there place.

For me I don't think the relationship would get that far without knowing how that person lived. I would dump her back if I found out she was a slob and didn't tell me.

ive been with OCD house cleaners.....it's over the top just as an extreme mess can be frustrating. If I toss my keys on the bed, then i expect them to be there when i need them again. It's only when people start cleaning things go missing all this sudden.

I am however very simplistic, so there is not much to clutter up in the first place and I always throw away junk mail..

hmmm I have 4 sets of keys, one is on one of our workes key rings so when I cant find my 3 I borrow his.

I have extra everything so when something is lost i grab another. its not a problem then as eventually things turn up.
I did lose my keys in my sheets the other day but when my youngest son jumped into bed he found them, so its not a problem..

And yep my profile always stated that i was chaotic and unorganised, not so much grotty as theres not dirt under the mess, it just stuff.

but what if she didn't really want you to touch her stuff - not clothes, but electronics and related equipment, cds, cables, peripherals, etc

I would like to back up and say that if I find out she is a cluter bug then there is nothing saying we can't be friends. That is your own space and this is the way you prefer to live. Being neat, I just dont think it would go any further than friendship. By me stating they would be dumped back... Rephrased to The relashionship could not go any further than a friendship and I would move on.

NOTED

Then I guess she would have to find a place for it.

well normally stuff like that does have a place

I don't think I could be happy with someone who was a total slob either because I am NOT going to clean up after him - I kinda keep things fairly neat & care more about CLEAN than things being in exact order

but if someone goes too far the other way, and I can;t find my stuff I'd be unhappy

maybe it's best if there are designated "areas" I have always felt that it's kinda disrespectful to organize someone's stuff w/out their permission

I wouldnt care as long as someone knew where it was, as I only have so many spare sets of stuff.

I am no where near a neat freak, it looks like my stuff is disorganized but I know where everything is...lol. I was with a girl who was a neat freak, I told her she could clean what she wanted, but she had to put it back (like if she wanted to clean a shelf, take it all off the shelf and clean everything but it all had to go back on that shelf). Then I would rearrange stuff later if she wanted me to. This system worked for a while until I noticed stuff missing, her definition of trash and mine were not the same so she was throwing things out! LOL...Half of my clothes are gone now because she got rid of them since she never seen me wear them while we were together, I am not talking about raggedy clothes but my nice stuff that I only wear for special occasions. Some times other people compulsions can be too much...

By jove, she's got it! I have a systematic madness and I guess I'm OCD in that way.

I had a previous BF who moved some binders into his storage unit, when we lived together. It was the chronology of all of my artwork from the time I was 9 years old, some of it very delicate and could have been damaged by being in a humid storage.

I came unglued because I couldn't find it, and started crying. He told me I was stupid, I told him we were over.

OTHER SCENARIO - Would a man make room (section of the house) for such madness?

Hmmm my kitchen is mauve and green walls with flowers and vines, flowers birds and fairies all over it, the roof it a pretty pink so my whole kitchen is a fairy garden, it is fullof little trinkets of birds and things, my bedroom is pink and mauve with glow in the dark butterflies, with pretend window that look out into forests and over mountains, it is full of stuffed animals that my man has bought with me. and although he was shaking his head in furstration while i bought them, he will make room for all my junk and silly fantasies, just because he loves me.
So yep a man who loves you will put up with anything