Once got into an a fight because I like to keep things neat and clean.........so to avoid that.....she is now my EX-wife in another state............

Ummm, that's kinda weird. It's not like you can stop being you. Maybe you can fake her out. The 7 dwarves sang...

No question. The problem is not resolved. It will come back again and again over this issue or that until the real problem gets resolved.

ok this seems a little ott on ther side i had a ex exactly just like her. buy the sound of things she wants a puppet more than anything. dont get me wrong people should change for there partner to make the relationship work. my ex started like this as i said it was over the top by the end. her reason for the split "i need a man i can controll"

with holding affection, the "silent treatment", refusing to discuss the problems are all power and control issues, which, if left ignored, only get worse over time...

if your girlfriend doesnt see or refuses to see that she has some control issues that she needs to work on (and not take out on you), then yes..you can expect to have a relationship with a 5 year old and get ready for the temper tantrums because when the above mentioned behavior ceases to satisfy her needs then she will eventually shift to other problematic behaviors...

I wanna know how the heck she does this???

the ex bf always pestered me when I was mad to the point I would blow up, but the issue got dealt with!

The ex hubby was like my horses & dogs and either got really lovey or did something to make me laugh! Either way I never stayed mad him for long!...no ignoring those big brown eyes when they are batted

wish I had her control in ignoring those I am ticked off at!

I don't think it's right to assume that the underlying problematic behavior is necessarily hers. I don't know these people and I don't know how they conduct themselves in there personal relationship. If it is a control issue, what is it that makes her feel that she needs more control? Is it offensive or defensive? Is it really a fight for control, or is it something intended to even up old scores? I don't think there is enough information to jump to conclusions. One thing I'm pretty sure of. A session of make-up sex is not going to solve the issue.

I also agree that the issue seems to be that you would not allow her to take the picture of you with the bow - to start with. If you have photographed her before acting silly but will not let her do the same thing - that may seem manipulative to her -

I can see how it might - depending on the details of the whole photography thing

I may be off base with this but I am also thinking it's possible you knew it would piss her off....that's a no-no

When all is said & done, it sounds like she's tired of the relationship- whether it's because leaving Asia is upsetting her or another reason - she is not happy with you. And she is the only person who can tell you why

I dont take silly pictures of her I don't know how many times I have to say this. There is no double standard. I asked if there was any other underlying problem and she said no. Actually after the fight she said she was afraid ideas going to break up with her so she doesn't want to end the relationship. If she did she wouldnt have shipped her stuff to the US last week.

Now what she did say is that she is always nice to everyone but she always eexpects her boyfriend to be perfect and gets upset when he isn't. This sounds like I was not the first one she was like this with and based on an old story of her lastbf who broke up with her maybe this was the cause.

Seeing that you were not here and had no idea what she told me you have no idea what she said you can't really speak on this can you? You don't give advice but try to give facts when you don't know the situation. It puts a bad taste in my mouth. Feel free to comment on my political posts but I will kindly request you stay away from my relationship ones.

stop bugging her about it let it go maybe she feels like you were making fun of her....let her be angry you should only apologize once then leave her alone to be angry if she wants....when she notes her temper tantrums get her no attention they will stop, eventually

I would hesitate to believe or rely on anything an ex (bf or gf) has to say

and yes, I hadn't read the entire thread when I said what I did about the picture taking - sorry

any time you realize that your partner is getting upset about something u r doing, it must stop (not just you- anyone)and it sounds like you did

In her culture teasing and silliness may not carry the often affectionate connotation that it does in the US. But I expect that you already know that and would understand her accordingly.

Her culture, if she is Korean, may demand a high level of achievement and strive for perfection in many things. Silliness may or may not have had much place depending on how traditional her parents were. And if perfection was expected of her by her parents (which is not unusual in Korea or Japan), then she has learned it is normal to expect perfection of your loved ones.

She may have high expectations of you. My son's Vietnamese girlfriend has very high academic expectations of my son - those expectations have been a very positive influence on him. Chazter, the cup is half empty or half full - perhaps neither should expect perfection from the other - even if there's nothing wrong with high expectations

and if she is a little nervous about coming to the US - well she's not perfect

I guess it's your thread and your relationship. I'm outa here! Best of luck.

No it was a story she told me about an ex. Anyway part of it may be cultural yes. Which is why I am not making any big decisions about anything based on our random stupid fights. The original point of the thread was to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong and to vent. As my family is in the US I don't have many people to talk to about stuff like this. And I wanted some outside opinions.

Actually I agree with him. Posters can only go by what you have said and from what I concluded....she does seem to have control issues and it won't get any better if it doesn't get resolved.

She seems to give the cold shoulder when she doesn't get things the way she wants them, so she isn't communicating.

It sounds like you really care about her, no matter what you are fighting about, I hope you have less blow ups and more make-ups.

i guess that this just being on here sort of just makes us think that you have asked for our opinions.
Anyway i am not saying this in a bad way, but often we say we are going to change and genuinly try, but normally until whatever is causeing it is sorted it still does continue, ..Sorry if you dont want to hear it.

There is a difference between saying you think the problem isn't resolved vs saying for a fact that it isnt. For all he knew we could have had a detailed discussion on what the problem is and how to deal with it.

Have you discussed what's bothering you with her when she is not in a bad mood? If not, you may want to try having that discussion. Let her know that it bothers you when she gets mad and ignores you over something silly and that you'd rather her talk to you about it.