Me: Do you want to rob a bank with me? I'll drive the getaway car while you go inside and grab the cash. Then we'll fly to Las Vegas, get married in one of those cheesy little places, have wild parties with showgirls and Elvis impersonators, argue because you don't want to name our first child Otto (even if it's a girl), get a divorce and spend the rest of our lives growing old, lonely and depressed.

But, we'll always remember Vegas.

Her: can I drive? I'm not very intimidating. :-)

Me: What? No way! Then I'd have to do the dangerous part. I could be shot. I'm very sensitive you know.

Her: well they won't listen to me. you are probably much more intimidating than me. they would just laugh and take my gun away.

Me: Well, you'll just have to find the ***** goddess within. You are Kali the destroyer! You can do it! Be assertive.

Or we could just have a coffee.


Her: lol, I might be able to get my boyfriend to do it. :-)

but coffee is always good.

Me: You have a boyfriend? That rocks! You should totally get him to do it. Then you could be the look out. We'll ditch him when we get to Vegas.

Her: I think he might have something to say about that. :-) but if he would that would be cool.

Me: We won't tell him about the ditching part. He wouldn't like that. We'll just find him some bimbo to keep him busy while you and I split his cut. Then we'll catch another flight to Rio and bask in the sun. He'll wake up hung over and confused and we'll be having tropical drinks on sandy beaches.

Her: lol, I don't know if that would work. but it might.

Me: Sure it'll work. I'm the king of clever plans! All my friends tell me "Ray, you always have the most clever plans." I'm a clever kind of guy.

You're a cool chick. I like you. Most women don't get this kind of thing. But, you're different.

Her: but then again lots of women are uptight *******. and another thing, how do you know you won't be waking up hungover and with the bimbo?

Me: I'd be okay with that. I'm not very materialistic. I'd chalk it up as a fun weekend.

I have an intuition about you. I think your sexuality is fractured.

Her: what do you mean, fractured?

Me: On the one hand, you need a man that loves and cherishes you. A man that remembers your birthday and buys you flowers. But on the other hand, you also need a man that grabs you by the hair, drags you to his cave and pounds you like a dirty little slut. It's hard to find a man that can address both sides isn't it?

Her: yeah, but I have alot of people trying. I think my bf is doing pretty good so far.

Me: That's great! You two should get married, buy a little house, get a dog and have a couple of kids.

Then, after a few years, once you've decided pretty good isn't really enough you can cheat with me. So, you'd better get my number while you have the chance.

Her: hell no, I don't want kids and I sure as hell won't be settling down for a long time.

Me: Awesome! Settling down is over rated. You have a great attitude! And a good energy. You have a quick mind and from what I've seen, a dazzling personality. You've impressed me and that doesn't happen very often. Keep up the good work!

Her: thank you. you seem pretty cool to, I wouldn't mind hanging out sometime, but it probably won't be to soon seeing as your in Big Springs.

Me: I just moved here last week and there is NOTHING to do in Big Spring. So, I've been going to Midland whenever I get a chance. My number is 817 *** ****. Send me a text sometime if you want to do something interesting and have some stimulating conversation. But, I work nights. So it'll have to be in the afternoon.

Now, tell me your name.

Her: oh I thought I already had, name is Sara. and my # is (432)***-****. I work 7-5 mon-fri. but text anytime it doesn't matter at work.