so my best friends < that are married> my old neighbors friends close for 15 yrs... and turned into best friends to me anyway>.. i dont have many im picky... so in 2003... i began to date a guy.. he treated me really badly.. many break ups..in the 6 yrs i was with him> in the end.. he was trying to get all my savings.. i lived with him and i did everything.. laundry cleaned after him< he was a pig, clothes on floor in every room, and did no yard work< had a big un attended yard>. had a gourmet dinner on the table for him <every night!> ok except for 4 i can say in a yr and half!> when i moved in with him in nov 2005- dec 2006 i painted his whole house including ceilings while i lived there as well as paid him 400 bucks a month.. in the end i got a job in aug 2006.. very part time paid 400 month.. so he raised my rent to 700!.. <included food> that i was not allowed to shop for>.. yet in the past he charged a guy only 300 that did not share food.. and did not do anything for him.. i had to do with what he bought..to cook.. so my FRIENDS knew all of this... and still remained friends with him. even to the point when the guy..< which at the time i was closer to> invites my ex.. and his new gf to his 50th birthday party? and not me !...after knowing him for 6 yrs and me for 15? i want to know this... do i have a reason to be upset?

i could care less that he has a gf.... but when it comes to my so called best friends should i be second thinking this issue?

Umm...upset, hurt, pissed, offended...yup.


I can see still befriending him if he did nothing to THEM, but just
cutting you out...not cool.

Sounds like a Diss move to me.

ill tell u this.. i have been pretty much single in the last yr and half.. and my friends have been the world to me this is the second coming of these friends vs my ex in my eyes! iggy me and hang out with him!.. i never encountered this before after frinedship that long.. and as i say feeling so close as to going to funerals of their family!

And you put up with that treatment from your pseudo BF or whatever he is to you? Why?

That is a sticky situation for your friends to be in as well. Would you go to the party even if you were invited?........

ok... befriending who?

OH, that was past history sort of and now you are speaking of your immediate friends. Diss move...

yes i would of! his 50? are u kidding me?

lmao! i dont care who he is with! her loss! but my frieds or who i thought was!

i dunno am i jealous? maybe so! i dont have many close friends! he has lots of people that loathe him! that he calls friends! i dont care his issue.. my issue is my friends that i " thought " were close.???

Friends who are there for the BOTH of you,,,before and AFTER,,,are rare,,,because for whatever the reasonings behind THEM,,
Most will only stay with ONE OF YOU,,,through the course of time to see? But IF they HAVE REMAINED STRONG to the two of you,,,then their really good friends to have...and as new said above,,,THEY have many thoughts as well when it comes to their doing ,,,and worries over how they might SHOW,,,to both of you...

sooooo............ what do you think here? lose those friends that have chosen him? for special events? and to boot.... the wife that i have been come as close to.... equal to him... asked me to belong to bunko team..n i mentioned my ex mother who loves to mingle and close by. she was making all kinds of excuses for... that she did not want her hurt.. omg! his mother is very out going... and in that 6 yrs i was with him still talked to his ex's so what? i was never jealous though i cherished her.. she just lives near by and thought she might like it? do you think my "old" best friend is ust looking for verification to invite his new gf?

The friends still being friends with HIM, but not cutting YOU out of
things. Even if you wouldn't have gone, at least you would have had
the choice had you been invited.


I hate situations like this where either others choose one over the
other, or expect you too. Like I tell them all, I'm not going to
dislike or abandon them unless they do something to ME, or malicious
to someone I care about. Usually I try to be a neutral party and get
along with everyone. Although that not only doesn't always
work...sometimes I somehow become the communal pinata.

ummmm strong? i was not invited to his 50!

that is what im thinking but dont know if i am feeling jealous over my friends? my gawd! i could care less bout his gf! i sure the hell dont want him!

so terry... to the two of us? i had this issue before this event arrised... and i aired it to them that it hurt me... then this? should i just cut it off with them? my gawd! this is unreal to me.. i dated a guy who lived with me for a yr... best friends for a yr and half and lost him after that<cause of moving> we lived together after i lost him and dated and ill tell u this... his gf now has me spend night at their house? why? cause i would not go there! i love the hell otta that girl! and i do outta him too! i respect relationships! and this. we were best friends before wed got together.. sooooo.. it did not work... we took time did not talk.. but my gawd.. i choose her for him! and this. he did not work for me.. he has learned some! treats her better and thank gawd! she deserves totally! i dig her! lol! so what is my problem here with my old best friends i wonder?

< they did not invite me at all!>

It's normal to feel jealous and hurt. Maybe sit down with them and
explain how you're feeling kind of left out/behind, and assure them
that you don't begrudge them remaining friends with HIM, but you
very want to still be included in each others lives, and if they are
worried that you might get upset at or make a scene if both you and
ex are around each other-you won't, that you're fine with him and
whoever he might be with.


Ok...I think I'm just gonna shut up now, lol, I seem to be posting a
suggestion right as you're posting the answer...boy is my timing
off tonight.