Ok so here goes,.,.... I can't seem to get past the idea of dating someone shorter than me.... Im only 5'5" so Im not a giant but I do like to wear heals, so on average Im 5'8" .....
And Im a sucker for great eyes and teeth....
So is it shallow????

A lot of people are responding that it's not shallow, just a preference. Really? So, if I said that I couldn't get past the idea of dating a woman who has small tîts, that's not shallow? It's just a preference? Yes, of course it's shallow. This isn't about whether the guy has good hygiene, is healthy, treats you well, or is intellectually or emotionally compatible with you. It's every bit as shallow as someone who won't date heavy women or redheads or Asians or anyone with a physical condition that means nothing important to the relationship. So, yes, it's shallow. But here's the kicker: You have every right to be shallow when it comes to physical attraction, within reason (i.e., it doesn't lead you into unhealthy relationships based solely on physical attractiveness, etc.).

Just be clear with yourself on one important point, however: If a guy is shorter than you are and you reject him on that basis, that's your right; but your inability to accept him based on his height is a refection on you, not him. His height isn't his problem; it's yours. That's the same as if I won't date a heavyset woman, it is a reflection on me and my own shortcomings and my inability to get past some flaw in my own psyche — a personal prejudice or obsession with what others will think or whatever.

It's not my intention to be mean-spirited here, no more than it's your intention to hurt the feelings of a guy who's a bit shorter than you are, and I'm not suggesting you're a bad person for your preference. We all have personal preferences, and we're all at least a little shallow and have myriad other shortcomings. That's a simple matter of being human. We can't all like the same things, and we can't all have the same attributes. Physical attraction is unique from one person to the next, and it's the result of thousands of years of human development. For better or worse, it's a crucial part of the human condition. Accept your preference, accept that it's shallow, and accept that it's justifiable.

interesting to note
curious to know how people discern a preference from a SHALLOW preference, is there a difference?
preference usually implies a specific trait, which in and of itself could be considered SHALLOW,,,,,,

I would say that the difference between a simple preference and a shallow preference isn't difficult to discern, generally speaking. For instance, I may prefer someone who went to college because I feel that I'm going to have more compatibility with that person intellectually. However, I may find a woman who is very intelligent but never stepped inside a college classroom. Am I willing to date her and get to know her better, or do I reject her out of hand? Which is the shallow response? If I like Asian women, that may be my preference. If I won't consider anyone except Asian women, isn't that shallow?

On the other hand, there are some instances where someone may have a preference that could seem shallow but really isn't. For instance, if a woman loves spending time outdoors running, hiking, etc. and she is looking for an athletic guy because she wants her lover to be an activity partner as well, that's less about a surface attraction than it is about the dynamics of the relationship.

So, I guess the general rule of thumb for me as to whether a preference is shallow comes down to motivation and flexibility. I'm shallow about a lot of things. I try to be more open, and in truth my appreciation for beauty has expanded greatly in recent years, but I know that I retain a lot of prejudice regarding appearance and a variety of other things that don't really matter. On other attributes, I have preferences (e.g., breast size) but they're not necessarily deal-breakers. I'm not sure I'm being especially coherent on this topic, but I hope I've clarified my point somewhat.

Yes weight can change so it is more than a physical characteristic. It also can show a part of ones personality or lifestyle unlike height.

I agree. Weight can be an indirect indicator of a person's values - especially whether they value their health. I know there are exceptions.


Its hilarious how the shallow and superficial people are so prone to assuming that people of depth must also be physically unattractive or have difficulty getting women.

I agree with most of what Reasserts said. Its good to be honest with ourselves about our shallowness.

Ok so here goes,.,.... I can't seem to get past the idea of dating someone shorter than me.... Im only 5'5" so Im not a giant but I do like to wear heals, so on average Im 5'8" .....

And Im a sucker for great eyes and teeth....

So is it shallow????

Not shallow, but I refuse to have a list of qualities, if I like you, I like you. Every woman is sexy and lovable in their own different ways.

I may be shallow but if I am shallow then everyone is shallow in there own way

And people with looks can have depth

Ok so here goes,.,.... I can't seem to get past the idea of dating someone shorter than me.... Im only 5'5" so Im not a giant but I do like to wear heals, so on average Im 5'8" .....

And Im a sucker for great eyes and teeth....

So is it shallow????

I don't know how to respond to that, so here's a picture of a rabbit with a pancake on it's head.

And people with looks can have depth

THIS... DOES NOT... MAKE SENSE!!!

(I watched the South Park episode for the first time last night, in which the Chef sues a record company, and the record company hires OJ's lawyer.)

Ah, you speak of the Chewbacca defense.

My favorite part is when he says "Look at the monkey" and some juror's head explodes.

A lot of people are responding that it's not shallow, just a preference. Really? So, if I said that I couldn't get past the idea of dating a woman who has small tîts, that's not shallow? It's just a preference? Yes, of course it's shallow. This isn't about whether the guy has good hygiene, is healthy, treats you well, or is intellectually or emotionally compatible with you. It's every bit as shallow as someone who won't date heavy women or redheads or Asians or anyone with a physical condition that means nothing important to the relationship. So, yes, it's shallow. But here's the kicker: You have every right to be shallow when it comes to physical attraction, within reason (i.e., it doesn't lead you into unhealthy relationships based solely on physical attractiveness, etc.).

Just be clear with yourself on one important point, however: If a guy is shorter than you are and you reject him on that basis, that's your right; but your inability to accept him based on his height is a refection on you, not him. His height isn't his problem; it's yours. That's the same as if I won't date a heavyset woman, it is a reflection on me and my own shortcomings and my inability to get past some flaw in my own psyche — a personal prejudice or obsession with what others will think or whatever.

It's not my intention to be mean-spirited here, no more than it's your intention to hurt the feelings of a guy who's a bit shorter than you are, and I'm not suggesting you're a bad person for your preference. We all have personal preferences, and we're all at least a little shallow and have myriad other shortcomings. That's a simple matter of being human. We can't all like the same things, and we can't all have the same attributes. Physical attraction is unique from one person to the next, and it's the result of thousands of years of human development. For better or worse, it's a crucial part of the human condition. Accept your preference, accept that it's shallow, and accept that it's justifiable.