If you are really good friends at the beginning, and you stay good friends throughout, then you usually won't lose them as a friend at the end, either.

I don't think one can lose a good friend very easily, even in a break up; but you can discover that you were wrong about how solid your friendship was.

i couldnt do it. im too jealous and even though they are not mine anymore, i still would not want to hear about their new relationships. best to move onward and upwards im thinking.

Normally once the relationship is over so is the friendrship. I have stayed friends with a few & they tend to drift off as we both start seeing others. Ironically I've remained friends with 3 of my ex's mothers! One being my oldest sons grandmother til she passed away a few years ago. Another from back 30 years when I dated her son when I was 15 & most recent a year after mine & her sons split. Mama's wuv me better than their sons!!!

whether you start off being friends then lovers, when that stops it all stops .you cant turn back and be okay. not if your the one thats lost your love. maybe if one where to be moving out of state forever humhuny

Sometimes I find it easier to suspend the friendship for a bit, completely disentangle our lives (if one person moves away, that helps a lot) for a period of time, giving us both a chance to really get over it, then rekindle our friendship.

I really don't understand this whole business of not being friends with your exes. The only women that I wouldn't want to be friends with were women that I wouldn't want to be too involved with to start with. I've dated women, discovered more about who they were, then broke up with them before we became too involved. Some of them I've dropped as friends, but we weren't really together to begin with. But if I'm going to have a full on relationship with someone, she's absolutely going to be someone I'd also want to be friends with when the romantic relationship ends.

I agree mt! I couldn't be in a LTR with someone that I didn't consider a friend and I don't lose friendships very often so I am still friends with most of my exs! Heck I trusted them with more than most of my other friends and that just doesn't turn off like a switch!!!

well from mymost recent experience i have tried it with my ex and we became really close friends learned more about eachother ....then got back together ... it just ended up not working again..us now not being friends because we dont work together in a ralationship, and dont want to become involved again... We worked better when we were not togther and happier with our company in single status.. I dont understand how the relationship status would have made her act so different like a complete change but now know its not something for me. I cant just turn my emotions on and off get inolved back and forth. Moving on and has made me much happier and am even stronger within myself. maintaining a friendship through the drama was too much of a drain. Not to mention new intrests arent too impressed with the fact of still having an involvment with someone I was once intimate with. I know it was drama and baggage now but it helped me grow.I now know what works for me and what I dont want and how much compromise I have and where my boundries lie.

Idk, but just don't knock on her door, at a random time, as the new guy she's sleeping with, may have something on display, and i doubt you wanna see that. Kidding.

I thought about this often. I think there is a balance between friendship and 'romantic' feelings that makes up any intimate relationship. Often times the romantic feelings die(although I question whether they are ever irreparable, if both are interested in making it work) and all that is left is friendship.

Its easy to keep the friendship, but possibly unfair to a future relationship because of the potential for things to 'happen' and reignite that past romance.



So its a matter of how irreparable the ROMANTIC feelings are. If both agree its completely beyond hope, romantically, I think its easy to keep the friendship and not pose any threat to future relationships. IF either party left not completely POSITIVE it was the right thing,,,its better to let the relationship go completely.

I managed to stay on speaking terms with two of them after the breakups, but one never really resolved to "friend" level and the other has been an on-and-off girlfriend for 11 years, so I'm not sure those count.

The rest wanted nothing to do with me once they finally understood I was not going to be turned into a domestic farm animal.

I don't do ugly breakups, it never gets to the point of rage.
So I'm able to be friends with an ex.

I have a saying..never look back, always look a head. I some times believe that people remain friends because they still have feelings for each other.
I guess it depends on why the relationship ended? I do know it is hard if you have the same friends and you run into each other all the time..it can be strange but after awhile you just learn to ignore them.
There was one guy who asked if we could still be friends and I said alright...it ended up to where he would call me every time his other relationships ended and he acted like I would go crawling back to him. I think this is why I won't be friends with an ex...THEY ARE AN EX FOR A REASON!!

Plus there is nothing worse then dating a guy who still hangs out with his ex and he always talks about her. It is a turn off and a big red flag for a lot of women. I think you are making the right decision IF you had feelings for the girl.

Same here.

It's not a bad thing as long as you remember that you broke up for a reason and being friends is better.

Ive been friends with all my exes unless they are a pathological lying son of a Biznatch....but so far that has only been one of them...who also happens to be the one man I made a life commitment to...thank GOD he invented DIvoRCE!

Yeah, i dont mind hanging with my exes that are cool. Not that i am or anything, pretty much lost touch with all but one of them. But if my boyfriend was always talking about his ex and how great she was and how great of friends they still are...not sure i would be cool with that at all. In fact especially guys who are divorced with children...i am very cautious to make sure they absolutely have no desire to reconcile with that person if even for the child. I respect if they do, but i am not engaging my own feelings in that just in case they do reconcile-which is great for them and their child but not me. I prefer a man who is a father to have animosity towards their ex, not love.

what's the point?
why not just move on, people come and go in our lives all of the time.

What's the point? Just because things don't work out with someone romantically, it doesn't necessarily mean they need to be gone from my life. Those who come into my life mean more to me than that, so of course I'm going to try to stay friends if possible.

the problem with that is most of the time when people split up, one wants to and the other doesn’t. so when it evolves into a different kind of relationship there is usually some kind of underlying motive there. along with this comes drama, jealousy, planning, awkwardness, plotting, waiting, stalking and the like.

I know you are going to say that’s not true in all cases and I agree, but those times when it’s truly mutual are extremely rare if we are going to be perfectly honest here. sure it sounds good and it even helps some people deal with the loss, but inside, the desire to return to something more still looms. it’s tricky and most people cannot handle it, so why bother?

and it doesn’t really matter when you talk about what these people mean to you, (you feel how you feel, but you can’t control how others feel) what matters is how they feel about you. relationships of any kind are a two way street, so it’s more important how the other person feels and if they are being honest with you.