Lol who you lying to you can't be physically attracted to someone without regard to there appearance

it's not hard to find you look at 10 woman and 2 of them are good looking then those are the only 2 I will be romantically into
I can be the other 8's friends but I wont sleep with them

You may be one of those people who take what they can get because you have no choice I on the other hand am a little more picky looks wise,

If you have a wide ranging personality and can relate to many people you will have no problem finding common ground with a woman but if the looks are not there then forget it

Because your experience has some limitation, you insist that all people's experience must have that limitation?

For some people, if they truly love someone, they can look at the object of their love and experience physical attraction to them no matter what they look like physically. Experiencing 'physical attraction' isn't always a judgement of someone else's appearance, sometimes its a subjective experience. Some people call this 'seeing with your heart'.



This is both 'your choice' and 'a reflection of who you are'. Its good that you know who you are, and are honest with yourself about it.

You speak about being physically attracted to someone you love no matter what they look like. While I may agree with this I think we are talking about dating and meeting new people. Thus you are not already in love with them and physical attraction is what usually gets people to have a conversation in the first place and set up the initial date. If you don't know the person at all all you have to go on is what you can see.

Also just because someone likes their partner to be physically attractive it doesn't mean people that don't have better values.

Chazster, the conversation has taken several turns and twists, and its not true that all of us have been talking exclusively about dating and meeting people. Some sweeping generalizations have been made, to which I've responded contextually.




Liking your partner to have certain physical attributes is not the same as requiring your partner to have those attributes. And yes, you are right: there are some terribly insecure people who put a lot of work into conforming to some socially defined standard of attractiveness, who also look exclusively for partners who meet similar standards, who might also have good values otherwise. Overall, I have definitely seen a correlation between lacking values in this area and lacking values in other areas - in several areas a lack of practicing good values seem to arise from a lack of self love, from selfishness, a lack of thoughtfulness, making easy rationalizations, etc. There are often (not always!) root influences (positive and negative) with a person's values that effects them on many fronts.

Sometimes religion is a dealbreaker as well yet we usually don't consider that shallow.
Someone may set high standards for themselves and high standards for their partner. If they can find someone that fits their high standards that's great for them. You are not hurting anyone but yourself with your standards. So why do we really care about others standards? If I say I won't date red heads why should any red heads get mad at me? Do they want to date me? Probably not so why would they care?

My experience has no limitation what you are talking about is not physical attraction you are talking about tricking your own mind and looking passed ones appearance and finding attractive character attributes about someone. Lying to yourself enough about a woman you convince yourself is attractive and you will soon believe it now how can you tell me what you said isn't what you do.

I am honest with myself and I have extreme standards for myself and my partners and they may be extreme but they are very simple
and I have no problem getting woman my only trouble these days are finding woman that will put up with me traveling so much.

But people say that I limit myself because I want a truly ATTRACTIVE woman but say no way there are plenty of intelligent awesome woman with good looks as there are ugly fat woman with smarts.

I just don't settle I see a model on TV and I tell myself I can get a girl like that and you know what I honestly do. What is wrong with that.

I just hate this crap about people thinking it is Okay to be fat, diabetes and Heart attacks in your 20's is not okay

So now, fat men only take what they can get? You've never seen a big man with a little skinny woman?

Why not stick with talking about your own preferences, rather than everyone else's? I notice you speak for others a lot.

Should have specified that was an example lol and a Fat man that has a good looking woman sometimes means he has the money thing and good paying career going for him lol

haha you lass seem so easy to fire up ehhh
So now, fat men only take what they can get? You've never seen a big man with a little skinny woman?

It's not getting fired up. I see big men and small women a lot. Seems it's more accepted than a big woman and a smaller man.

But again, it ultimately comes down to preferences.

Mostly a Big Man is evolutionary men are suppose to protect there young and mate

that is a evolutionary trait


but a Big Woman and Man is just unnatural eewwwww


lol like for real though I dont get it

heres a little story in the health and fitness forum i dont know why people keep making excuses I am fit she got fit hell you cant be in the military if your not fit I guess the military is shallow too lol

Have you all watched that new show on MTV called "I used to be Fat?" its an amazing thing to watch. No diet fads or pills, just straight hard workouts and eating right! What an inspiring show!


Actually that is how I lost 40 pounds. I did not diet at all. I just changed my way of preparing food, watched what I eat, and work out on a regular basis. My weight hasn't dropped any more but I am losing inches.


That is what I am talking about Hard work and results I love to hear that


Too many time people try to take shortcuts to lose weight or inches but there is no short cuts just crappy ways of trying to cover it up,


I will tell you all HARD WORK & DEDICATION will not fail you in your weight loss and workout body goals

I'm not fat, I'm big boned! Okay, you got me, I'm fat.



That's called shallow. Thanks to your help, I have come to grips with the fact that I am fat. Now you need to come to grips with the fact that you are shallow.



Further confirmation of your shallowness. I would also say you are a douchebag, but that would get my hands slapped by the moderators. So I'm definitely not saying you are a douchebag, but I am thinking it very loudly.

I am shallow and fat.

Okami.

You are only 20, and I know you feel you have the whole world figured out. But you have so much more to learn and figure out.
This is not intended to be a slam in any way, shape , or form, but rather to expand your mind a little.

After awhile it comes down to finding a partner that you can handle spending vast amounts of time with. Your mates physical attributes will become less important, and the things you can do together will take over.

I am engaged to the most amazing woman ever. She is not a barbie doll, and she is all too aware of her weight. The thing is, we love to be together. We love doing things together. We love a lot of the same things. And we love to try to impress the other in a number of ways. *Whisper to the slow* (that meant that we love sex too)

nah ur not shallow an fat im shallow an thin an can't help that lol

I normally don't do this, so bear with me..............

Ruth, you are NOT fat, nor shallow in any way!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

Shallow as the ocean??????

I don't necessarily think that wanting to be attracted to someone you date is being shallow. Now, if that's the only thing you care about and the only reason you date someone, that is shallow. But, for the most part, yes people have to be attracted to those they date.

Everyone has preferences. There's nothing wrong with Okami wanting to be with someone who is in shape, as he works hard to be in shape. There's nothing wrong with you not being picky either. We all have preferences, though.

There is nothing at all wrong with having a preference to anything at all you like. But have you ever been surprised at all in your life?

Maybe the one you didn't think you would be attracted to can sneak up on you and capture your heart.

Well, then I need to work at this more.

I said that he's shallow, I didn't say that there was anything wrong with that. Everyone is shallow to one degree or another.

Having preferences doesn't make you shallow. If your preferences are all like "itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face", then you are shallow. As I said, the personality is very important. You could marry a woman and then she could be scarred in a fire or a car accident or disease. What then? Get a divorce, because she doesn't look like she did the day before? If your attraction is to the purely physical, then you are in for a long string of empty relationships.