just curious, ya i guess im a little insecure because no one replies to me, especially on eharmony. I think i just need to meet women on the street again. I have a 2 year old and im in the army, sometimes i feel that turns women way off. Maybe im just looking for some reasurance. Damn Baby mom is down one day and completely sour the next. Sure the sex is great...but if i was blind....i think i would hate her, i dont remember the last time she asked me a question about my life. Really, not hows training going, hows your family. That just hurts, after two years in this ***** state why would n e one want to date me? Why after two years am i still in lust. I know that there are plenty of women out there who would be great for me. So why do i keep trying. Maybe im just a hopefull romantic who wants his family back. Maybe shes toying with me. I dont know anyone that would toy that much with someones emotions. As soon as i start looking for new women i do feel better tho, i get my appetite back. But then she will call me and be nice for a week and back to square one i go. THen theirs the issue with her finding another man and him being my kids step dad and her calling him Dad. I wont even touch that one with a 10 foot pole right now. What if i die overseas and she really calls him dad. What if all of this is a dream, what if i want this to be real. What if this life experience will shape the man i am today? what if it doesnt, what if i just go crazy one day and kill myself. What if i joined the infantry because im to ***** to kill myself. What if im actually not serious at all? Maybe i joined the army because it would change me and i would handle her **** properly. Maybe i thought she would be attracted to me for being in the army and all it entailes. maybe i thought her family would respect me and think of me as a real man. Maybe my daughters mom will read this one day and think im crazy. Maybe i should write a book, or be a poet. Who knows... maybe ill meet the lady of my dreams, and she knocks my socks off, and i snap out of it. Then what if i have a kid with HER and this **** starts again? Anyway i dont think anyone would want to date the above hahaha, but im just venting, rate comment etc, and thank you for listening to me. Because even superman needs to lean on someone once in a while, doesnt he?

TLDR, attention span that monkeys laugh at.

whats TLDR?

Wow vent much......and feel you have way too many feelings of inadequacy and insecurities that you need to deal with.......self-confidence.....stop trying to seek validation through others and validate yourself something I have been working on myself feel self assured for yourself and your child.....yes of course we all go through stages and tough times emotionally relationship wise and famlial as well as friends.......find yourself and you are way too young and internalizing way too much what other people say to you another thing I need to learn myself or remind myself of at times......love yourself and your child and you will have had all the love you need in life....be happy woth yourself and your child and be all the father she needs and your blessings will be bountiful indeed

Too long, didn't read.

thanks for the honest reply

Honestly, your insecurity is a bigger turn off than having a kid! And being in the Army should be a turn-on, IMO.

I can relate in some ways more than others.

Don't worry we all get through our struggles!

No I dont think yur insecurities are a turnoff, they are just you being honest, (sadly most men try and pretend that they dont have feelings )

but what do you want out of life.
My son in law and my adopted sons are in the Australian Army and they all face days of doubt, my son inlaw, hates that he leaves home for long times but loves his job. he hates that he may leave and not come back.
he hates taht he leaves his family and friends to fight to keep us safe and nobody seems to think about what he gives up to do it.

You seem like a great guy. Just move forward 1 day at a time, the army does scdare a lot of women as they know that their men will have to leave.
Where I live a huge part of our population are army , and air force boys, we have all had our friends sons and husbands leave in the last year. Over the last month I have had to say goodbye to 6 close friends, boys and men who are part of our family.
Be proud of who you are, Look at what you truly want, bit by bit, then as you become more self assured people will be attracted to that. But you need to decide what you want, you can stick with your family or you can find someone else, everyones relationships change after children You can try and work it out, or move on.

anyway I think you are great and if you want to talk, just message me Ok.

Luv ya

just curious, ya i guess im a little insecure because no one replies to me, especially on eharmony.

I think i just need to meet women on the street again.

So why are you on this site?....the streets are that way.....>



I have a 2 year old and im in the army, sometimes i feel that turns women way off.

I can tell you, that is not the reason.



Maybe im just looking for some reasurance.

Reassurance for what?



Damn Baby mom is down one day and completely sour the next. Sure the sex is great...but if i was blind....i think i would hate her, i dont remember the last time she asked me a question about my life.

Umm excuse me?...the sex IS great, yet she has a new fella and your daughter calls him dad, and you are having sex with her?



Really, not hows training going, hows your family.

Obviously she wants sex not intimacy.



That just hurts, after two years in this ***** state why would n e one want to date me?

errrr...you are absolutely correct, in this woe is me, boo hoo state, the pickings would be slim.



Why after two years am i still in lust.

Can anyone say CO-DEPENDENT?



I know that there are plenty of women out there who would be great for me.

Unfortunately, I don't know how great you would be for them.



So why do i keep trying.

Because you seek validation externally, rather than do the work internally, and fix yourself.



Maybe im just a hopefull romantic who wants his family back. Maybe shes toying with me. I dont know anyone that would toy that much with someones emotions. As soon as i start looking for new women i do feel better tho, i get my appetite back. But then she will call me and be nice for a week and back to square one i go.

and this woman, the mother of your child, has a new partner that she is deceiving?...and you are in lust with that? ...are you sure you ARE the father of this child?



THen theirs the issue with her finding another man and him being my kids step dad and her calling him Dad.

I wont even touch that one with a 10 foot pole right now.
What if i die overseas and she really calls him dad.

You won't know, because you would be dead...so what you don't know can't hurt you.



What if all of this is a dream, what if i want this to be real.

It is real.



What if this life experience will shape the man i am today?

Err hello?...it is.



what if it doesnt, what if i just go crazy one day and kill myself.

It will still have shaped who you DECIDED to become...your choice...no-one elses.



What if i joined the infantry because im to ***** to kill myself.

errr...have you seen the psych yet?



What if im actually not serious at all?

then you have a really shallow boring life already...why make it more shallow by pretending?



Maybe i joined the army because it would change me and i would handle her **** properly.

Only you can answer that.



Maybe i thought she would be attracted to me for being in the army and all it entailes.

Can anyone say living in a dreamstate detached from reality?



maybe i thought her family would respect me and think of me as a real man.

You may have thought that, however, respect starts with yourself.



Maybe my daughters mom will read this one day and think im crazy.

...and that would help how, especially if your daughter reads this one day....



Maybe i should write a book, or be a poet.

there are many who came before you that have...



Who knows... maybe ill meet the lady of my dreams, and she knocks my socks off, and i snap out of it.

Again, enough with the someone else can fix me, cause I am too lazy to do it myself attitude.



Then what if i have a kid with HER and this **** starts again?

Have you not heard of condoms?



Anyway i dont think anyone would want to date the above hahaha, but im just venting, rate comment etc, and thank you for listening to me.

Because even superman needs to lean on someone once in a while, doesnt he?

No, he doesn't.

woah...tell him about it jess

yeah I know Moe, a bit harsh...however I am not into enabling people in their self deception.

This reply is for jess specifically. First id just like to clarify one thing, their is no other guy that my childs mother is seeing at this time, and we both agree that their wont be any relationships that interfere with our daughter until we know what were getting ourselves in to. Jess i really do appreciate your comments. Yes i know that being insicure is blah a complete turn off, but if you dont vent then you do have to see a psych. But isnt someone who admits their problems and insicurities a strong person? But you are right in almost everything you said. a nice wakeup call in a not so nice way :). Especially when its a girl doing it.... thanks for the help.

she is actually a very nice lady, she and a few others on here will tell it like they see it. but it seems like you took it well, and i hope everything works out good for you. my wife left me when we had two little boys, and it hurts, but life goes on... just make sure what ever you do, it is for the childs benefit, not hers our yours.

point taken

Taylor,

I am glad you clarified there is no other person involved, the way I read your OP was that the mother of your daughter has a new partner....

As to if you don't vent, you need to see a psych, don't you? question...no...if you feel completely unstuck, slightly unstuck...or just unsure...a psych is a great person to help you unravel all your questions...AND give you the tools to 'fix' yourself, or rather, recognise some unhealthy patterns of thought and behaviours.


Anyone can admit their insecurities, and their problems.... as they see them...sometimes an outside view is helpful, sometimes not.

Strength comes in stages...first recognition that things are not going well..then acknowledgement, or ownership of your own part to play in it, and the other party's..then learning different ways of managing situations.

If you keep doing the same thing wishing for change, then you are a little insane.

Change comes from doing things differently to how you have always done them.

Life is about continual learning, adapting, growing, changing...along with the highs and lows of life.

Something I often share with clients is that life is a heart beat....it goes up and down...if it ran smoothly all the time, you would be flat-lining..

Having a chat with a complete outsider who has no emotional attachment to your situation...ie: a psych...can really help you move through uncomfortable situations or periods in your life.

It takes a stronger man to admit he needs help and seeking it out...than the coward too scared to admit he is not doing ok...


Unfortunately I am not much for nice...and the cultural differences between Aussies and Americans often has my bluntness seen as bitchy harsh rudeness.

It's funny, people always shout out for respect...and really don't we respect a person who takes the time to share THEIR personal truth in a frank manner, with us, especially when we asked them for it?