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Topic: What a sucky birthday
macona's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:11 PM
Well I thought that I would at least have a descent birthday, but was I for a big awaking. My ex came over to drop the kids. He had already told me he will bring money so I could get stuff for our oldest birthday coming up. When he was about to leave I ask him about it and he snapped at me telling me he does not have to give me money unless it is court appointed. Then started in on me that the kids were cramping his style. That he has to be able to go out and do what he wants. He can't do that if he has kids on his heels. Now he only gets the every other week so I didn't see why they were a problem. Then he told me that I picked to be a single mother that now I have to live w/ that decision and do it on my own. That hurt, but I didn't let him know that. I can't believe he can still hurt me so bad. Geez what should I do? I just can't tell my kids that their dad doesn't want them anymore. I am desperate and very hurt looking into their eyes. I need some advise badly.

purplecat's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:14 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
((((((((((((((((MACONA)))))))))))))))))
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

the guy sounds like a **** and he doesnt deserve the little angels ! you all will be just fine with some one like that OUT of the picture!


my kids dad walked away from them an never turned back.
its sad , its scary , but it is do - able

flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:16 PM
You never tell the kids that your ex doesnt love them........even if he says that. They figure things out on their own pretty quickly. I have never let my ex not see our son......he just chose to not see him, to hurt me I guess but hey.....it didnt hurt me only my son.

I talked to a psychiatrist about this once and she told me that when my son turned about 13 he would figure things out and make his own decision. He did. I have never EVER said a bad thing about his dad, because I knew it would hurt him. My son, did come to his own conclusions.....he thinks his dad is a total loser.

Kaedinzephyr's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:17 PM
Happy birthday!

And who dosen't want children? Personaly, if somthing should ever happon to where I become a father, I will WANT to be apart of my kids' lives.

macona's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:17 PM
thank you purple i know it is better this way. i finally got the courage to leave him but on the other hand my boys just idolize him which is making it very difficult

Marie55's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:17 PM
He sounds like a jerk and still trying to hurt you because of the divorce. I would recommend getting some counseling to give you someone to talk to and get some ideas on how to handle the issues with the kids. My ex was alcholic and totally absentee and only called to make her promises and never followed through, really hurt her and messed with her head. I decided to not rely on him for anything and we made out okay. You are right about not telling the kids, that is why I recommend counseling, they can help deal with these issues. You may end up back in court if he doesn't want visitation and isn't treating them right, go for full custody and keep them away from them, don't allow him to hurt them out of his anger and selfishness.

snowmanrick's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:18 PM
happy b-day sounds like buddy is a looser and needs a reality check

transientmind's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:18 PM
Happy Birthday, Macona




Sorry about your ex, some men are more equal than others.

heartbrokenbaby's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:21 PM
i almost became a mom last year at the age of 17 the father said if i kept the baby hed leave i left him instead and was gonna raise the baby myself its do able i ended up losing the baby but im work to make a better life for me and for when i have a baby its do able to raise kids by ur self i have friends that are doing u just have to be strong for ur kids and for ur self

no photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:21 PM
Well there seems to be a lot of them out there!!!

Hmmmm......question......if it were an absentee mom would you be harsher????

ArtGurl's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:22 PM
awwwww

Happy Birthday! flowerforyou

I am sorry your ex is being that way.

macona's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:23 PM
thank you guys it does make me feel better but i do promise the kids never hear a bad word from me its just hard when they hear him yelling that they are in his way and trying to comfort them. Trying to come up w./ excuses like daddy has to work or something my oldest is wise beyond his years and he looked at me and told me I was only fooling myself at 6 those are big words to say. I am just lost on what to say and changing the subject he just rolled his eyes and said comeon bubba lets go play. how do well i just don't what to say i for once in my life was lost for words lol. it took a 6yr old to stump me

purplecat's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:23 PM
well the days not over yet!!
have a bubble bath ..or a drink or a toke or ,,whatever makes ya feel compfy ! you need some ME time !!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOO YOOUUUUU !!
I'll have all of the above ! for ya!!lol..i'm doin so much better without the jerk wad i was with ,,an I didnt have to say any thing to the kids ,,they figure it out on there own ,,
just show them you love them LOTS!! they will know ...:heart:

heartbrokenbaby's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:23 PM
is that comment towards me becase if so i wasint trying to be harsh

macona's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:23 PM
sorry yall i guess i like writing books lol

macona's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:24 PM
no broken i was just saying for everyone i agree in what you say and i definatly won't do that

widowerseeking's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:24 PM
stayed around till after my kids were grown, a slightly or should I say a very empty house for both myself and wife. we started taking in kids that one or both parents no longer wanted to take time for. it does not cramp your style or make you want freedom, it makes you feel good knowing you can help those who need it the most the very young.

heartbrokenbaby's photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:25 PM
gypsy there comment i wasint tryint to be harsh to macona i was trying to help

no photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:27 PM
If your ex is going to be like that.......I would move far enough away..........Yes, they are not close to their dad........but for them to hear that ****???? geeeeeez!!!grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble

no photo
Mon 07/02/07 10:28 PM
heart huh????huh

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