Is the same true of love? I'm starting to question if it's not possible that some relationships just last so long, they run their course, and then we're meant to move on? I was just in the thread about love vs. convenience, and remembering my marriage.

I had no trust, up until the time I let my husband into my heart. I saw my parents marriage and really; it would take a special kind of masochistic stupid to follow in their footsteps. But Tim happened and I thought hey. He's a good man. He's a good dad, he's good to me, he loves me, I love him - I shall accept his proposal. And it's not like we were passionless.

But 13 years in he decided it was time to switch partners. Since I barely unlocked enough to let him in, I couldn't see myself trusting anybody with my heart again, so I just went on with my life, solo. But now, I'm here. I'm meeting people and extending my hand and heart and thoughts, without considering if it's a good idea. I think I'm sort of going back to who I was meant to be, instead of the wounded soul my family created.

That brings me full circle to the subject at hand. Is it possible that most relationships weren't meant to last forever? I am grateful for the good times I had with Tim; I am. I miss the hugs, and the jokes, the laughter and the love. I'm misting up, just remembering. But maybe it really only was meant for us to be together for so many years.

Anybody have any thoughts or feedback?

Thanks for sharing Boop!

I think there is not really an answer to your question, from my point of view anyway. Life is what we make of it, with the sorrows, joys and everything in between.

Therefore I think the important thing is not why it happened, or whether it was meant to happen, but rather that you are getting out there again, living your life, following your dreams, extending your hand and opening your heart.

Don't get me wrong, to me trust is about as difficult as any thing, this I was taught in my childhood, and not the easy way either. Furthermore I have seen more evidence that people are untrustworthy than to the contrary.

I guess I've had two things going for me. One, I tend to think about things, and it made me realize that love to other adults only exists through trust. I like to say "Love is a bridge of trust connecting soul to soul" Without the trust the love has no real way to truly bond two people together... of course, if you think that lust is a kind of love, then this does not apply... but then again, even random intimacy requires a certain amount of trust.

So when I met my ex wife I made a conscious choice. I shall try to trust. It changed my life. I still have walls and defenses and I cut off and cut people down if I feel I have no other choice. And right now I am not trusting either, in the opening of my heart sense, because I am separated and still need time to find myself anew.

But one day I'll jump that fence again. Because trust is the only way to love, and love is the only way to live.

Just my 2cents, hope it gives...

It did, and thank you. My real question, however, goes to whether love really was meant to last "til death do us part". To a certain degree, I'd have to look at the 50% divorce rate and say "obviously not". But I also see couples like Johnny Cash and June Carter and know that some couples are meant to be forever. You can't imagine one without the other.

*sigh* Very confusing.

for your consideration....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF_10F7eYRE

pay attention to 5 minute marker and on..

Perfect!! That was perfect, thank you SO MUCH.

anytime,, Madea always makes Me feel better,,lol

This question has been on my mind for three months now. I am nearing my answer. This answer has contingency clauses and more exactly is relative.

I have concluded after 22 years of marriage experience (work experience) that marriage and love are mutually exclusive. Marriage (covenant immovable until a divorce nolifies it) Love (conditional)

Consequently, I am moving on since my experience has led me to believe covenants are forever but love vacilates. We do fall in and out of feelings of love. When that vacillation targets another or causes certain adverse effect thereby triggering a downward spiral we are left with the decision: should I commit to a covenant or follow after the vacilating tendencies of love gestures. I am not willing to live within a world of commitment void of kindness and love gestures any longer.

Yes after the forever idea and acts of kindness are gone, what then? My mind seeks not another but the peace derived from being free of a "love action less marriage"

that was great... a lot of truth to it...

To answer you question in my opinion Boop.. I do think most relationships are not meant to last.. There are some that find it but I've realized that the majority doesn't find forever...

Very well said regarding being forward looking.

Yap!