there is a guy that i have been talking to (no hes not from this site)
but any how he lives in mo and hes been planing to move closer to this direction for there more here then where he is at

any how we have been talking about relationships and if we were to get together and suposely live together
he has made this loud and clear

that my ex bf or male friends even no matter how long i have known them including old bf from 30yrs ago.
would not be allowed to call or come over to visit


so he would expect me to kick them to the curb...

i dont see it as a problem with me talking to old bfs there just friends and nothing more. im sure if i went by this guys rules.. i would be stupid im not going to let any man demand or control me and that is what it sounds like

i even told him ok what if your ex wife or gf show yup just wanting to talk what would you say to her.. he would kick her to the curb...

you know i would allow her in and if she was to cause some problems then i would tell her to leave


now tell me your opion on what you think.
and would you really allow someone tell you that

You know I'm right Gotta be your own girl...if you change to keep someone happy then you cease to be who you are. You need the one that loves the person inside of you....if you have to be someone you are not, then it is not you that they love. Never forget that a friend is someone that will always be there if the right one finds their way into your life...the same should hold true in a relationship.

Do you really think anyone is going to answer with anything other than no?

YES YES YES DO AS HE SAYS THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY AND BECOME HIS LITTLE DOLL THAT ONLY SEES THE PEOPLE HE HAS OKAYED. CLEAN COOK AND TEND TO HIS EVERY NEED AND SPREAD 'EM WHEN HE WANTS HIS PLEASURE. IT'S HEAVEN BABY JUST FOR YOU!!!!!

Oh, and if you want a bit of advice. Don't argue with him when you know the truth in your heart. Don't say "what if your ex..." if in reality you want to be in control of who you see and don't see. Just tell him no way, and if he doesn't respect that, well look above to see what awaits you. If he does respect that, then you have both managed to keep control in your life, and found a guy that genuinely respects you.

Remember, it is better to be alone, than to be caught in a bad relationship.

ps- thanks Fear for that inspiration

The man is the head of an affair/family. Your new man loves you. Forget about your ex & move on with your new man. Phone calls can be permitted from your ex if you both had kids together. He can call to ask after the kids welfare & nothing more. Same applys to his ex if they both have kids.

****ing hell? "Oh yeah, my boyfriend pretty much controls who I talk to..."

And I'm awestruck...

Wow, we should get together you and I we'd make a great team, I mean, I'd make a great team and you'd do what I tell you...


Different folks different strokes I guess

Personally...

Never let someone thrust his/her insecurities upon you. It is okay for him/her to bring them up for discussion, but to create a set of rules without talking first? No way. We all have at least a couple insecurities. Some hide them, and some are open. Others seek to control everything to avoid being hurt. Sounds like this guy is doing the latter. If he's a real man, he'll tell you his reasons rather than just expecting you to kowtow to his demands blindly. Then you can judge for yourself. If he doesn't respect you or himself enough to do that, then you don't need his headaches. Hasta la vista, baby!

As far as Cadnitz's opinion, you have to understand where she is from, Nigeria. In many African cultures and traditions, her opinion is what is actually expected within a family. We may not agree with it, but that is how she grew up. Our opinion is just as odd and foreign to her. There are many cultures where such family structure is still traditional, for instance, Japan.

Not that way. You cant boss me around for what is not. I'm talking about 'EX' & not friends in general.

but the OP does state "male friends" as being part of her guys demand, and no matter how long she's known them.

But damn girl, I can't boss you around for nothing... and here I felt we were getting along so nicely

Naw, sorry Cad, didn't mean to ruffle your feathers!

but the OP does state "male friends" as being part of her guys demand, and no matter how long she's known them.

But damn girl, I can't boss you around for nothing... and here I felt we were getting along so nicely

Naw, sorry Cad, didn't mean to ruffle your feathers!


As for my male friends, he must give a genuine reason before i abide to that.

but the OP does state "male friends" as being part of her guys demand, and no matter how long she's known them.

But damn girl, I can't boss you around for nothing... and here I felt we were getting along so nicely

Naw, sorry Cad, didn't mean to ruffle your feathers!


As for my male friends, he must give a genuine reason before i abide to that.


_____________

So the reason just have to be genuine. Genuine could well be "I'm genuinely paranoid he might jump your a**" or "I genuinely want you all to myself so you are a 100% dependent on me." These reasons could well be genuine. That okay with you?

I was married to twomen like this, and even though they can be lovely, if they control one part of your life, they will eventually control it all. So if you are happy to loose control well thats ok, but if you want a say in your life, stear clear it wont get any better

Avoid the insecure.
Sooner or later it will turn to control.
Lucky you, he has told you ahead of time.

Sounds like my ex hubby, thats why he's my ex hubby!!! You know you deserve better than some guy thinking he's gonna control your every move. Walk away quickly!

I would run the opposite way!! I'm sure you can do better.
I am friends with my ex's and each husband became friends with each other! I have been married three times.
My second husband passed away and I then became a widower. My second got permission from my first husband to marry me, as it is required in the Bible. LOL some asked what would of happened if the first said no. Well, my ex wouldn't of married me. But, I forgave my first husband for all the wrongdoings he did, so I wasn't worried about it. I knew he would say yes.
My third husband became friends with my first over computer repairing and software! And I am best friends with the third husband.
You have to be secure in yourself and find someone secure in you and your relationship or you will be heading down a dangerous path.
Good Luck!

No I wouldnt. I would never allow someone to tell me who my friends are. This is a BIG red flag...he sounds like a controller to me. There has to be trust in a relationship. I can understand if he feels jealous of your ex...thats natural, ( and really except for kids why would you want to keep in touch) But other than that...No.

That's all a man would have to say to me!!

Red flag!!

Control!!!


Out to the curb his pretty tight azz goes!!

UMMM CAN YOU SAY CONTROLLING?
NEVER NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU WHAT TO DO!! MEN COME AND GO BUT FRIENDS LAST FOREVER!!!

Be yourself.........

Its up to you if you decide to conceed to such things......just remember if you do conceed it was your decision to do so......and if he asks more and more from you.....well you set the presedence