Alrighty Santa..The fat kid in diapers that shoots the arrows on Feb.14th let me down again so its all up to you..Its now Dec.11th..I want a hottie with a car and a couple of bucks in the bank gift wrapped and stuffed under my tree for Christmas and my birthday..You gonna come through for me or do I have to add you to my hit list too!..LOL.

He has let me down every Feb 14th of my life.
If he helps you,send him my way! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every year, when I start my Santa List,
I think of all those people who insist
he does not exist.

I prefer to believe he gets too much mail.

dear santa,

this year for xmas i would like a new glass eye. This one i whittle out of an old tree knot is giving me splinters. I would like to sell it if i can or maybe trade it for a 3 legged dog. Why a 3 legged dog you ask santa?...well, i figure if he had one less leg to carry around we would be fast enough to catch my neighbors bipolar cat that keeps eating my bagonias...well, santa i will be awaiting your arrival on the 24th eagerly. Don't be scared of ole billy sitting by the chimeny with a rifle..he just hasn't been rigth since the accident...

luv always,
lizzy

I don't have a car, just a truck...will that be ok ??

LMAOooooO

Yo Fat Boi! Drop by for a break on your run. We will burn a spliff and knock back a brew. I was hoping for boob pix of all the mingle ladies but, if you cant do it (or IF they dont SEND THEM TO ME PERSONALLY)....I would settle for a couple cute lil elf chicks all hopped up on that magic dust that the flying reigndeer snort....Screw it...lemme buy $100 of that magic dust too....I will turn them elves OUT!