Not necessarily talking marriage here. I even have trouble with the hooking up part. We all know you don't have trouble with that, you pimp daddy you

thanks, I was jus' playin' yanno

- hope u had a good t-day


hey krupa in a hurry? thought u were a confirmed- as negotiations not wanted- bachelor????

Funny I should run across this just now...

Was talking about it earlier today with the gf...

I almost gave up. I thought I would be "single for life".

Now, I'm not so sure, but it depends upon the intended meaning.

I have no problem with having a partner-for-life over a marriage certificate at my age. On the other hand, if we really are committed and see this as our future, why not be married within the law?

On one hand, you're technically single. Avoid a lot of problems if you decide to split up. On the other, there are tax breaks plus you make a vow in front of a bunch of witnesses to prove your commitment.

Truth is, marriage is no longer regarded as a deep commitment. That's because too many people seem to rush into it, or not acknowledge the true devotion it requires. If I think someone is THE one, then I want to take time to make sure it is mutual. I'm a logical thinker who is also impulsive. I recognize it, and admit it to my partner. I will entertain the idea while giving myself extra time to evaluate it. Based on my partner's views, this can become a tricky issue. I'm not afraid of commitment, I just want to be sure that it will last. And, that means TRUST.

i had to ask myself this question before i left my husband. and i did know that being alone until i died was a great possibility,,,,,really scary at first.....but then...very liberating

Very honest. Respect. Everybody's more or less terrified of rejections, but I think it's very sad when it keeps you from pursuing your dreams. You're not really asking for advice, but still I want to say, learn to laugh at your failure, your rejections etc, because nobody comes to their dreams success without meeting those on the way.
I guess I tend to think (having been through 8yrs marriage and now single) that there's a fairly good possibility of getting what we want in life (no guarantee though) but only if we determine what that is, and work towards it.
Give yourself some time, do something good for yourself, and if you want something, push yourself out of your comfort zone a little at a time to get it.

All the best

that's a lovely statement action. ur GF is a lucky lady. ur right devotion is a big part of it and most people, especially younger cannot understand wht that means unless they come from parents of a long term marriage.

It's scary to me to think we have a whole generation of people in their teens & early 20s now who view marriage as u describe - nonpermanent and it's because most of them have had divorce modeled by their folks as normal. That's why when the subject comes up on here about what it takes to be married, I always tell people look for (usually older) people in ur family, or close friends who have been married 15- 20+ yrs or more and who also obviously still love each other (that part is important) and ask them what it takes.

I made fun of myself on here earlier regarding my divorce, but really I did not do anything that bad at all. I was a good mom & a good wife, but my ex never really was devoted to me. I had a couple of "midlife crisis" years when it was hard to communicate wiht me. I had always been the "rock" and he didn't have the devotion for when I wasn't - that's a great way to describe what it takes because that IS what it takes - good post, actionlynx

also really great ideas - I have been rejected too and have done some rejecting. we all go thru it. accept it wiht grace, and you may end up with friends for life - something that I learned from my bonehead ex BF actually - he was a pain but he had a great attitude about these things, and truly I am still very fond of my past boyfriends even if we did n't "make it" for one reason or another

you sound a little like me. I also find these things difficult. Don't worry about hooking up - it's usually a boring waste of time (or becomes that sooner than you might think)and u also have young son at home. It takes longer now than it did when I was first dating back in the dinosaur days because hook ups were not really acceptable behavior then and happened infrequently - at least in my social circle - mostly we dated or went as a small group to parties, concerts, movies etc. I don't see a much of a mileu for that now - post divorce- some 20 years later. I really think the NSA-hook up crowd has ruined it for the rest of us

guys expect that now - they aint gettin it - so ... I'm on here instead many evenings

but then, not sure I'd really want a guy who expected that (as a non negotiable) anyway

Yes, to both. Except I know I'll be single for life and I'm okay with it.

Not thrilled about it, mind ya, but what choice do I have but to be okay with it? There are circumstances beyond my control that necessitate the single for life distinction, so what good would it do me to not be okay with it?

Took me a long time to figure that out, but I'm glad I finally did. Makes things much easier now instead hoping for the impossible.

Some people are people people, some people aren't. I'm not. Them's the breaks...

Single for life would suit me just fine. No shopping and carrying bags. No one asking me to slow down because they're falling back on the bike trail. No one bitching about why I dont like to be bothered during the World Cup or NHL playoffs. No one trying to dress me they way they want or change my thoughts.

What more could anyone ask for

Look at it this way. At least your 401K is safe.

i would be ok with it.. however content no i would not be.. if i were single for the rest of my life i would still think about having someone in my life.. however i would be more content not settling and being single rather to settle for being treated badly..im much more recluse than i was at age 40 single. a freind brought up that i dated a lot. i thought humm.. i have been single for a 18 months i have dated 7 guys. most went one date or two.. to me.. they just werent for me at all i could tell that fast. im not fearful of telling them when i know.. so it doesnt go further.. im not going to waste my time or theirs.. i think that is a abnormal small amount of dating in 18 months i you ask me.. when i was 40 and dated i would date that many in a month or 2! i gotta be losing it lmao! i think with the 7 yrs though i have grown so much that i dont let some get to a first date and i know im not missing out. i just have no interest. i wish you luck though you are so young.. you deserve to be happy and that way with someone.

I am assuming "single" means "not married" in this case. And, since I will not get married again, I will be single for the rest of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If "single" means just without a significant other...yes, I believe that it is a very strong possibility and I have recently come to terms with this and realized I am perfectly happy with this thought. I will not say what will or will not happen...after all, the future is always in motion (so says Yoda). But, I am very happy being single and I really don't have anything to offer a significant other...so, being single is probably how it will be.

I have made that now my life, give me a year and I'll let you know!

I read a quote not long ago that stated "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm" & thought of that when I read your post! IDK-seems like when I get really happy all by myself I get slapped with a relationship & then i wake up years down the road & wonder how the eff my life ended up that way when I was so happy once! Enjoy while you have it dude!

Que serah serah whatever will be will be

people change & some deal with it better than others - that's how time factors in with the LTRs

I think I've been rejected only once by a woman I pursued, but it's not a good feeling. Well that, and my wife cheated on me with a coworker. Not a good track record though since it means I'm probably not perusing what I want as much as I should, or not knowing what I want half the time.

Thanks for the advise.

I've only had two girlfriends in my lifetime, but my lifetime is nearly not over yet. I'm 20 yrs old - but still 2 girlfriends?! I guess you all are wondering why? Why hasn't he been knocking them down like their bowling pins? Realistically because Im not that guy. I look for the girl with the broken smile. I look for that kind of girl because I want to change her life around. But people in general don't understand my perspective on these things. I'm ok with being single its not the end of the world. Would it be nice to share your life with someone else? Of course it would be, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. If shes out there she will come.