I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

-Groucho Marx

"Our soldiers must have a relentless hatred of the enemy; a people without hatred cannot vanquish a brutal enemy." - Che Guevera (1967)

"The nonviolence practiced by men like Gandhi and King may not have been practical or possible in every circumstance." - President Barack Obama in his 2009 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

-Groucho Marx

"There will be times when nations, acting individually or in concert, will find the use of [military] force not only necessary but morally justified." - President Obama in his 2009 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

“The USA has helped underwrite [support] global security for more than six decades with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms. The service and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform has promoted peace and prosperity from Germany to Korea, and enabled democracy to take hold in places like the Balkans. We have borne this burden not because we seek to impose our will. We have done so out of enlightened self-interest -- because we seek a better future for our children and grandchildren, and we believe that their lives will be better if others' children and grandchildren can live in freedom and prosperity. So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace.” – President Obama in his 2009 Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

Sometimes I don't speak too bright
but yet I know what I'm talking about
Why can't we be friends?

cuz i'm racist.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

-Groucho Marx

don't you know that i love you.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

-Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

-Groucho Marx

please don't go.

we are almost there, are you gonna do the actual flip bster

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

-Groucho Marx

i feel the sun creepin up like tick tock.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

-Groucho Marx

Here I am
On the road again
There I am
Up on the stage
Here I go
Playin' star again
There I go
Turn the page

Youre killing me bro......