Now we all know they are out there. PERVERTS! Bottom feeders of human society! Or are they? Not all perverts are alike.


So here are some definitions of perverts.


The Perve: Usually having a penchant for sexual innuendo they are typically just friendly people with strange senses of humor. A perve can be any age. The worst case perve is Quagmire from Family Guy. usually perves are just friendly people having fun. Sometimes they are not.

Sick Dog (or Sick old Dog, SOD for short): These are creepy old men looking for sick thrills. Usually they are over 50 and will graphically explain what they would like to do to younger (Typically under 30) women. Now without the assistance of Viagra they are basically worthless in bed and resort to getting reactions to fill the void their limp weenies cannot fill.

Greasy Pervert: Typically just some jerk with an attitude looking for an easy (Explative). Also known a Bottom Trolls, Trollers (Fishing reference), or Stanky Players, these guys will screw anything that will let them. This brand of pervert can have a kinky side.

Red Perverts: Ann Ricers, Vampires, and Cutters. These are the people who not only fancy themselves Undead (Yeah!) but they have to have blood letting of some kind in their love lives. These people are not to be confused with Goths since they are not and I mean NOT Goth, They may have a Gothic attitude but do not confuse the two. Goth is a way of life, not a Sexual Fetish!

Brown Gravy Pervert A.K.A. Sick Mother Fuquer or SMF for short, or Sewage Worker: This brand of pervert is a real Sickie. They are into some sick fetish. The term comes from a predisposition for feces, urine, bondage, animals, incest, and basically anything that would make even those of us who are sick MF's go "HOLY CRAP YOU ARE THE SICKEST MF I EVER SEEN!" Like the name implies, they like to be basted in unsavory mediums.

Shadow Lurker: These pervs rely on internet porn to get them by. These are people with BAD sexual issues and do things in the closet so to speak. Necrophiliacs and Ghouls fit in this category as well as Voyeurs, Panty Bandits, and other "softer" sexual taboos.

Jokers: These guys get their kicks deceiving people. Sex and dating are a joke to them and as such they gt their sick kicks messing with people's heads.

Appliantologist: Got toys? How about Appliances? Like Frank Zappa said in Thingfish, an Appliantologist can only find sexual gratification with the assistance of machines.

Furries: They wish they were animals. Enough said. they usually are friendly enough but the most extreme version of these folks is the Plushies. Wanna do a Mascot from a Sport's team? You are more than likely a Plushie!

Pedo: Pedophile, nuff said!

Super Spy or "the Eye": A voyeur pure and simple. they do not whack off while watching. This is how they get their wind up. People who attend strip clubs loosely fit this definition.

I think I will see if anyone has other definitions to the brands of pervert out there...

But this sure covers them very well. Still I am sure I am missing something.

BTW: Anyone trying to use that joke "You been looking in the mirror lately," will get this response from me, "I was actually thinking of you!"

Yes I love all of you too!

I've always heard that kinky people use a feather and perverts use the whole chicken

That's funny..

furries crack me up. what do you think about yourself when you realize that you are into dressing up like an animal to have sex? lol to each his own.

Haha nice, I like that furries one too. hmmmm c'mon, a couple mascots, doing it at center field. lol
k now I hafta add that to my to do list. lol
Great definitions though, I'm going to have to share that with some people, thanks.

THE WALL WILL BREAK BEFOR I DO

So from my experience there are alot of "normal" people who are Pervs ot The Perv. Some people border on a few of these depending on how open minded or freaky they really are.

i wish i had something to add! OP, a great read, lol

Whew!!! At least you didn't mention me by name!

Hey now I am THE king perv on her for 3 years running!!Just ask my blow up doll!!

Takes all kinds. Scat just ain't my thing man.

Well if sex isnt naughty U aint doing it right!!

Mikey....you are coming up on FOUR years of the Perv King on here!

As for me...... I think of myself more of a flirt than a perv.

Sex can be verrrry naughty or just plain passionate. Whatever mood you may be in haha!

U are the Queen of both U are my role model

And making love is the best!!! Making Naughty just makes it better!!