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| Topic: Wrong For Women To Propose to Guys? | |
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in no way am i meaning to demean women in any way, but i personally would prefer to do the proposing myself. is that not half the experience? deciding how to do it, picking the ring, getting down on one knee? and on the opposite side, is that not half the surprise for women? not knowing exactly when/how it's going to happen?
i think what makes your proposal out of the norm is that you are taking the traditional sense of the proposal completely out of it. you are taking all the expectation out. in no way am i saying that this is a bad thing, but i dont think that it would be the way i personally would want to approach the situation |
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I wouldn't say it's wrong for a woman to propose, I just don't think you're going to find many women who are willing to do so.
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I don't have a problem with the woman proposing to the guy. That is if he is ready most of the time women are ready long before the men are. Therefore women actually give the men more time to think whether they are ready or not...
I have no problem if the relationship has went on and on and marriage is something the woman really wants. But normally if the relationship has went that long and the man has not proposed it is due too he has no intentions and don't want to marry but to keep things the way they are. Myself I'm about as open and bold as they come but I'm old school as well... I still believe in men proposing. But then at my age marriage is not something I feel is a must... but if it happens again it will be due to the guy makes that step...  |
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Edited by
willing2
on
Mon 11/08/10 11:35 AM
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It'd be hard to deny a woman who is down on her knees.
 No matter what, I ain't gittin' hitched again. 
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i dont know know too many women who keep their true feeling inside when it comes to marriage, I do think they will express to their partner, ie: I can totally see us married and having a family, or ie: we've been together for (x) amount of years when are we going to get married. those are the ways women let their men know they are waiting to marry them. As far as getting on one knee and proposing and paying for a ring, thats something that is foreign i think. I dont really know any women who have done that or are willing too. Nice approach in tackling the issue. However, do you think that the use of clues and/or suggestive languages help the matter much more than a direct proposal would? well first, it's important to remember that statistically more men remarry than women Now as far as the OPs questions- who cares? do what u do say what u say just make sure you can walk the walk u talk - we all have different comfort levels regarding reversing traditional gender roles. I seldom even message first much less propose - never ask a guy out on a first date - so I doubt I'll be doing any proposing any time or at all |
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I think my ex would've done it
She asked me out first |
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I think my ex would've done it She asked me out first Asking someone out first doesn't mean they'll ask you to marry them. I've asked men out. I've never asked a man to marry me. |
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 its so crummy to propose a guy being a girl...i mean what if he rejects and says knock it of..so its a big NO NO..AND GIRLS ARE PRINCESS SO BOYS BE THE PRINCE AND GIVE YOUR PROPOSALS,DOWN ON UR KNEES WITH ROSES AND CHOCOLATES.....make it a fairytale....
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I think my ex would've done it She asked me out first Asking someone out first doesn't mean they'll ask you to marry them. I've asked men out. I've never asked a man to marry me. Well i was just saying ... 
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Mon 11/08/10 12:41 PM
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I think my ex would've done it She asked me out first Asking someone out first doesn't mean they'll ask you to marry them. I've asked men out. I've never asked a man to marry me. there may be other things about her he knows tho' that makes him feel that way I dont ask guys out becasue right after my divorce friends egged me on into trying it once or twice and it just never went well - prolly cuz it's just really not my style - w/ a man I have been seeing for awhile...that's different - nothing nicer than surprising a deserving male with a well planned evening jmho |
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What is this traditional notion that forbids women from boldly popping a love or marriage proposal to guys? Generally it is believed that the European woman seem to be bolder and freer to express their intentions compared to the American woman. Are women truly free in love matters? I think that women here generally think it is the man's responsibility to pop the question - looks like bondage to me. Your thoughts please.....??? I don't know how European women act but this is how one American woman acts. Twenty years ago, I had dated a gentleman for a long time and I felt ready for marriage. He still had some hesitations primarily due to his career/financial path. So, I went and purchased a wedding set and gave the rings to him one night saying, "Okay, if/when you are ready, just ask. If you are never ready, that's okay too." I had no 'set-in-stone' (no pun intended) expectations and I explained that to him. He was very appreciative that I had taken the financial burden off of him. He was also grateful that I didn't pop the question because, as he told me, he would have felt completely emasculated. (Women aren't the only ones who believe it's the man who should be doing the asking). Six months later he asked me to marry him. I realize what I did isn't considered the 'norm' by most people. But, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't propose. Shoot, I probably could have way back then but I was trying to keep in mind what would make his life easier. And, this was the solution. It worked out beautifully. Too bad the marriage didn't work out that way (lol). Thank you so much for sharing from experience (they say it's the best teacher, huh). You are a pace-setter/pathfinder for womanity then and we raise hearty cheers for your boldness. I think contemporary woman should cross the threshold and air their affection without societal encumberances - especially when it comes to popping that question. 
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What is this traditional notion that forbids women from boldly popping a love or marriage proposal to guys? Generally it is believed that the European woman seem to be bolder and freer to express their intentions compared to the American woman. Are women truly free in love matters? I think that women here generally think it is the man's responsibility to pop the question - looks like bondage to me. Your thoughts please.....??? I dont think it is forbidden. I know women that have proposed I would think anything of it. BTW, whats wrong with a lil bondage ?? 
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As long as i get a fkn expensive ring out of it im game.
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in no way am i meaning to demean women in any way, but i personally would prefer to do the proposing myself. is that not half the experience? deciding how to do it, picking the ring, getting down on one knee? and on the opposite side, is that not half the surprise for women? not knowing exactly when/how it's going to happen? i think what makes your proposal out of the norm is that you are taking the traditional sense of the proposal completely out of it. you are taking all the expectation out. in no way am i saying that this is a bad thing, but i dont think that it would be the way i personally would want to approach the situation Thank you for sharing your perspective on the issue, Sir. It's true that we live in a man's world where chauvinistic male define what should constitute the "norm". By this discuss, we are trying to explore possibilities of melting the granite walls of chauvinism somewhat and let the woman express her heart without judgments, backlashes and shame. It's not going to be easy, I know, but at least someone has to try..... |
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The only man I would have married I did, but everyone we knew kept asking when we were getting married so when he asked I made a bet that if he could handle my crazy family for 6 months I'd marry him!
Now we are divorced, but he is still part of the family. not very conventional! I don't wanna get hitched again so no I would not propose! |
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As long as i get a fkn expensive ring out of it im game. lol....hmmmmmm....that's all I can say 
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I wouldn't say it's wrong for a woman to propose, I just don't think you're going to find many women who are willing to do so. ...well, that's the point: If it isn't wrong, why is it such a "tabboo" for women to do when they feel like it? Could it be that "macho" society forbids it or that "humble" womanity simply capitulated? |
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It'd be hard to deny a woman who is down on her knees. No matter what, I ain't gittin' hitched again.  Looks like you had an experience that would enrich our discussion. Please go ahead and share - even minimal details could help...
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I don't have a problem with the woman proposing to the guy. That is if he is ready most of the time women are ready long before the men are. Therefore women actually give the men more time to think whether they are ready or not... I have no problem if the relationship has went on and on and marriage is something the woman really wants. But normally if the relationship has went that long and the man has not proposed it is due too he has no intentions and don't want to marry but to keep things the way they are. Myself I'm about as open and bold as they come but I'm old school as well... I still believe in men proposing. But then at my age marriage is not something I feel is a must... but if it happens again it will be due to the guy makes that step... Thanks for sharing. Please don't you think you could have a different final outcome if you apply your boldness next time love knocks on your door? Kind of taking the initiative and the power? |
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As long as i get a fkn expensive ring out of it im game. Ooooo what about a super spy decoder ring?? would that do the trick?? 
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