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| Topic: Why I, on the whole, hate people | |
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good to hear you got your bases covered. people go to court for some pretty lame stuff, and there are plenty of lawyers out there willing to take on those cases. flipping the bird, shooting a goosey, i guess that must be one of those "in these hear parts" way of saying things. once this blows over you can go back to your old self, only a little bit wiser. you can still help people, it's in your heart. Yeah, people do go to court for some pretty lame stuff. One way to fix that would be to make the loser pay all court costs. Shooting a goosey must be a local coloquialism. It's interesting how different areas have come up w/ their own names for the F you gesture. I dunno if I'll go back to the way I was. It's not exactly the first time I've been burned for helping someone. Although, this is definatly turning out to be one of the most expensive. Inventory counts so far indicate at least $1500 in merchandise missing. Computer records show she had a whole lot of ZERO dollar sales in the last month or so. If you don't know what that means, it indicates she was selling a lot of merchandise under the counter and pocketing the money. Oh dopey me for trusting her... I have since institued new security procedures and protocols. On the count goes on... |
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Totally agree. Welcome to life my dear. Everyone in some way or form has experienced the negative you had to some or the same extent, in one form or another. So...what did you get out of the experience, hopefully not permanent damage that will eventually make you more and more bitter and cynical in life? PLEASE. We certainly don't need any more of that anywhere. You got alot of great replies on here, and one thing I noticed in a few of your replies to these people was cyinicism, maybe a little unwarranted harshness and a attitude of who asked you? Mind you, am in a peaceful, objective state myself at this time. Perhaps...you are already receiving a little karma by this persons deed? You say you helped her, there has to be more. Were you expecting a little more out of her work, were expecting something..only you know IF you examine your behavior. What we are thinking/feeling does indeed come out in our lanquage, body, facial and vocal (slips or not) even if we think it's been hidden. Look at life as some sort of test. To give in to disgust, hatred, bitterness over a few hundred dollars is failure. To get the message behind it, (for it is a lesson) and avoid changing your persona into something more angry, justified, righteous, etc is the ultimate win. You certainly don't think life is just simplicity and you float through it without incident? Acceptance is the key. People are going to do the unexpected and you may just get run over by that runaway truck once in awhile. Accept that you cannot change others- expect some turbulance at times and in the end work on forgiving her, it's just not all that bad considering what ALOT of people are going through and losing these days. BTW, 1 1/2 wks ago had my 1200$ lap stolen from work from a room that is supposed to stay locked and only certain people should be allowed in there. The week before I gave a man who had been laid off a hundred dollars to get me something for my truck that it needed. He never came back with the money. I set them both up to happen unintenionally, so. Does this make me angry? No. Empathy that these are hard times and desperate times bring out desperate measures. And the reality that they must need it much more than I at that time to take those things.. Do some spiritual reading from some of our great teachers who have come, to get your head twisted right again. Good Luck. umm..right... And it's up to a few thousand dollars now...if you count the money she still owes from the original debt. Yes it does make me angry. I think anger is a perfectly reasonable response to such a complete betrayal. I gave her a job. Shortly after I hired her, her life goes into the toilet and I risk my life and lend her over 2 grand to help her and her daughter. Because that's what you do when you see someone in trouble that you can help. AND THEN SHE STEALS FROM ME! Yeah, being pissed off works for me. Screw empathy. Empathy got me in this situation in the first place. |
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Why I, on the whole, hate people where do i start the list is endless you are "people"....  I hate that chit...I don't wanna be people...people suck... 
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What did I hope to gain by helping her? Was this friendship driven...or was it merely "fiendship"? Nobody...with all due respect "helps" anyone unless they feel some greater reward in doing so..... What was yours? Um...what? In a sense you are right about the 'feel some greater reward', but I think your first question is totally off base and presumptive. What did he hope to gain implies he's seeking after a future, possible payoff of some kind. We don't need to hope to gain, we can immediately gain by being true to ourselves, doing what feels right to us. It may be cliche, but for some of us: when people are being honest with us, the act of giving is its own reward. If they are lying to us, that can easily undermine that immediate and authentic satisfaction - because we weren't honestly giving to an honest person, we were being manipulated and scammed. indeed. |
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Look, I understand what alot of you have been writing. That I shouldn't let this incident change me. However, it already has.
Over the years, I've helped a whole lot of people. It's one of the reasons I have no money. Sometimes I get paid back. Most often I don't. One of my little jokes among my friends is that if every one who owed me money paid me back all at once, I could buy a really nice house and a really nice car with cash, paid in full. Did I let any time I got burned keep me from helping the next person out? No. But I did get a little darker inside. Every time. An employee once remarked that no boss does what I do. He stated that if someone comes to work with a sad story, most bosses would say "That's tragic. Now get to work.". Instead, I helped people. I know the world is a tough place. I also have a theory that if everyone helped where ever they could, it would be a lot less tough. However, I think I'm pretty much done. I now know exactly why most bosses are a-holes. They have to be. |
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actually its called "setting boundaries" and from following this thread I have come to the conclusion that you have zero and thats why you now find yourself in the position that you are in.
protect yourself all you want, claim to hate humanity all you want, but the truth is, until you start doing some personal work on yourself, you are going to fall for the the next sob-story that crosses your path. you "help" others because you are getting something out of it..whether you are looking for pity or praise, point is you are getting it and its working for you..i say this because you mentioned you have a long history of being "mr. nice guy"..clearly an indication that there is a problem and the problem is with your behavior not the ones who are benefiting from your actions... "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." peace 
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Fri 10/29/10 01:34 PM
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Hmmmm...I'm wondering why she needs the money....do you pay award wages?...does she have a huge array of debt left from the debris of her marriage?
Has her rent increased? Is her daughter special needs? It does not excuse her behaviour, nor the hurt you feel...it may, however, explain her desperation to do this....risk her entire income for $800 dollars of stock...over how long, 6 months? |
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hmmmm, I`m quite indifferent to people who aren`t good friends of mine, or family. i see that it`s a good thing! being a doormat would not suit me at all
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Edited by
Arcamedees
on
Sat 10/30/10 07:39 AM
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actually its called "setting boundaries" and from following this thread I have come to the conclusion that you have zero and thats why you now find yourself in the position that you are in. protect yourself all you want, claim to hate humanity all you want, but the truth is, until you start doing some personal work on yourself, you are going to fall for the the next sob-story that crosses your path. you "help" others because you are getting something out of it..whether you are looking for pity or praise, point is you are getting it and its working for you..i say this because you mentioned you have a long history of being "mr. nice guy"..clearly an indication that there is a problem and the problem is with your behavior not the ones who are benefiting from your actions... "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." peace uh huh...you are a perfect example of why I hate most people. People who can't understand or accept that some people do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, w/o ulterior motives really can tick me off. Your comments show a short-sightedness and selfishness unbecoming to humanity. |
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Hmmmm...I'm wondering why she needs the money....do you pay award wages?...does she have a huge array of debt left from the debris of her marriage? Has her rent increased? Is her daughter special needs? It does not excuse her behaviour, nor the hurt you feel...it may, however, explain her desperation to do this....risk her entire income for $800 dollars of stock...over how long, 6 months? Yes. If the store grosses over a certain amount/day, everyone gets bonuses. I don't know. Doubtful. One of the things I helped her do was move into a new place. She was living w/ an abusive b/f. I helped her get out of that situation. Thus the risking of my life part. No. Unless having a stable home is a special need. It is now in the thousands. We haven't finished counting, but it looks like it'll end up around 2-3 thousand dollars. Most of it since the end of Sept. I think part of the reason would have something to do w/ that abusive b/f. She got back w/ him, so I've now heard, sometime in September. |
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I have to agree with pmarco that you need to know boundaries... I understand wanting to help people, I've done it at the detriment of my finances MANY times... It breaks my heart to see people in need BUT I've learned boundaries and the hardest lesson was with my family...
Hating people b/c you do not know when to draw the line doesn't make sense... Do you hate the dentist when you get a cavity? Everyone gets used at one point or another, everyone makes mistakes.. There are good people and bad people, there are givers and takers; these are the things that make the world go round... To hate people and make a few people the reason for your vast generalization of why all people are bad makes no sense.. What it says is that you're taking a few incidents and making it about you.. You haven't helped ALL the people in the world, you've helped some, therefore, you haven't been screwed over by all people in the world just some. I'm sure there have been people you've helped that have been very appreciative of it.. Those don't count? I know plenty of people that help people all the time and they never smear all of humanity b/c a couple screwed them over. Their take on it is "well I did it from my heart and not all people act the same or react the same, such is life.. If it's done from the heart there isn't 'much' room for remorse. Give and expect nothing back not even a thank you and that's giving without condition... Her stealing from you was wrong.. She could have been in dire need or she could just be an azzhole and you helped someone that really didn't deserve your going out of your way as much as you did.. BUT that is that, get over it, move on, don't drag it on and on, learn from it and be more selective of who you help AND how much help you give... I know I'll be another that makes you hate humanity b/c I'm being honest and straightforward... In everything that happens we have some responsibility for why it happened.... |
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