Community > General Discussion

Topic: Lies, Deception, and Intent
newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Fri 09/24/10 12:57 PM
Intent to deceive is intent to cause harm. Knowingly telling an untruth as truth is intent to cause harm. if I ask if my butt is big....I am open to my fragile emaciated ego getting a dent..so be brave....and tell it how you see it. So I have like a 50/50 shot at answering this correctly........ A 100% correctly....as it's YOUR truth, unedited, uncut, and totally yours. Ok. What if it looks a little big but not like real big. I mean a little big in good way......

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 09/24/10 12:57 PM Edited by msharmony on Fri 09/24/10 01:02 PM
Intent to deceive is intent to cause harm. Knowingly telling an untruth as truth is intent to cause harm. if I ask if my butt is big....I am open to my fragile emaciated ego getting a dent..so be brave....and tell it how you see it. yeah, I agree. Dont ask for the truth in an opinion if you dont want it,, but I personally choose to use constructive criticism(aknowledging something seen as negative from the perspective of how it can be improved) instead of just hurtful words,,, I'm a bit of a skeptic with the ole 'constructive criticism'....it's a soft sell version of lying. I ask for a succint response..."Does my arse look big to you?"... the answer is YES/No..... without the cuddly smuggly added ..."however with a teensy bit of uphill walking it could be very pert"..can you hear how there's an almost conceited aspect to the 'positive' 'constructive' improvements? For me...no criticism is constructive...it's just negative. diversity is a wonderful thing I think the tone of the question 'does my arse look big' sets the tone for a curt answer however a question like ' does this dress look ok on me ' is less deserving of a curt response like ' no, it looks like shite' a simple 'no, I dont think it flatters you' would be just as appropriate, honest and helpful (it could be true that it looks like shite AND doesnt flatter but the former manages to get the point across that the dress doesnt look good just as well as the latter) BUT the bottom line is really that each relationship is different, and if one is close enough to someone to want their opinion they should probably have the relationship in which each one understands what the other deems appropriate I dont speak to anyone in such curt manner, and those who I would be close enough to to ask an opinion would know that and respond to me in whatever manner they were accustomed to in my responses to them relationships should first and foremost be MUTUAL,, either mutually curt, or mutually respectful,,,but MUTUAL

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Fri 09/24/10 01:03 PM Edited by Jess642 on Fri 09/24/10 01:04 PM
diversity is a wonderful thing I think the tone of the question 'does my arse look big' sets the tone for a curt answer however a question like ' does this dress look ok on me ' is less deserving of a curt response like ' no, it looks like shite' a simple 'I dont think it flatters you' would be just as appropriate, honest and helpful I can see how that is less 'painful'....and yes there is more information, in a supporting way....there is a diversity in human/cultural response also...and gender expectations/behaviours...a multitude of labyrinth-like responses... I am a bit of a minimalist I guess..."Does the dress look ok on me?...Nope...that colour has you looking like a chemo survivor...or the cut has done nothing for your curves".. but that's me....my friends have armour plated egos...

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 09/24/10 01:05 PM
diversity is a wonderful thing I think the tone of the question 'does my arse look big' sets the tone for a curt answer however a question like ' does this dress look ok on me ' is less deserving of a curt response like ' no, it looks like shite' a simple 'I dont think it flatters you' would be just as appropriate, honest and helpful I can see how that is less 'painful'....and yes there is more information, in a supporting way....there is a diversity in human/cultural response also...and gender expectations/behaviours...a multitude of labyrinth-like responses... I am a bit of a minimalist I guess..."Does the dress look ok on me?...Nope...that colour has you looking like a chemo survivor...or the cut has done nothing for your curves".. but that's me....my friends have armour plated egos... sounds like healthy mutual relationships

Jess642 Joined Sat 03/31/07 Posts: 22732	Fri 09/24/10 01:09 PM
Intent to deceive is intent to cause harm. Knowingly telling an untruth as truth is intent to cause harm. if I ask if my butt is big....I am open to my fragile emaciated ego getting a dent..so be brave....and tell it how you see it. So I have like a 50/50 shot at answering this correctly........ A 100% correctly....as it's YOUR truth, unedited, uncut, and totally yours. Ok. What if it looks a little big but not like real big. I mean a little big in good way...... ...then that would be your answer...it's YOUR truth.

ProPhotographer Joined Thu 07/29/10 Posts: 290	Sat 09/25/10 03:01 AM
In my experience, TRUTH is actually only what you want to hear... Practically everyone wants to be agreed with but nobody wants to be told the "god's honest truth" that would send send their own personal value system in some downward spiral of lies and deceit.

AmandaRJ Joined Wed 09/09/09 Posts: 70	Sat 10/02/10 07:03 PM
intentionally leaving something out is a lie by omission, still a lie..IMHO I find that this is the worse kind of lie, because you are purposely hiding something, you know you should disclose. And why? I believe everyone is entitled to have a few secrets, but not when you mislead others by doing it, if it is potentially harmful, just be honest. I rather be hurt a thousand times by the truth than live an entire story based on a lie.