Does anyone here have a FWB sort of thing where you have just always been together but know you could never be marriage material? It could sound funky what i am saying but for example i have been with the same guy since I was 19, now 33. through both our marriages at which point we were not together physically but maintained friendship-but then through both our divorces have been still like best friends. And now with the divorces we see no problems in hooking up although we both agree to disagree on a lot. It's weird. The type of person you tend to say "he is like a brother to me" but then again not so much a brother that you can always make out with him. LOL.

In my own experience I have not been a fan of the FWB ordeal, just because whenever I did that someone's feelings were hurt. Either by the fact that not both people felt the same or because one person wanted something different than the other from their situation. If you can not honestly picture yourself happy with this person then I would have to say step away, but if you feel there is something worth pursuing there I'd go for it and see what happens.

Personally, I don't do the FWB thing. It always causes problems. I prefer something long-term and serious, and if I'm screwing him, we're in a closed relationship and its already serious.

Have to say, your comment of "he's like a brother to me" just comes across as super-creepy, in the incestuous kind of way.

while all my lovers have been my friends, not all of my friends have been my lovers....

friends with benefits is the easy excuse to avoid committment...like the young hottie with the hat said, sometimes it gets complicated because one of you is going to end up with hurt feelings if you want something the other person doesnt or vice verse...

I have a strict moral policy. Tap as many chicks as ya can!

I don't know how much more proof you both need to see who you're supposed to be with.
Disagreements come with the territory but accepting and respecting the other persons point of view is how relationships succeed.
Or am I completely out to lunch here?

YEA

you hit the nail on the head...

LOVE YOU LONG TIME

I met a guy mid or late summer of 2009 from here. His headline was "looking for my soulmate". He lived nearby so I flirted, we dated, we got serious BUT when we eventually did, I noticed he changed his headline to "lets just be friends and see where it goes" and our relationship turned quickly into FWBs that I did not seek or want. NON sarcastic advice, pls?

sure, and this is sincerely meant. dunp him now and don't look back - sounds like a real skag

I don't "screw" my "friends".

Ocean I kinda understand. Relationships with men just after divorce take on a very different quality than relationships/dating pre divorce. Once married we've known the intimacy and openess of being one with our man in so many ways. Right after divorce it's real easy to fall into that again with your "man of convenience" With him u can be married mentally but without the "inconveniences".

I guess my only caution- based on my own expereince - is make sure he is comfort-zoning on your same plane...I had something happen similar but with a man who was never B4 married, and it didn't work I think because he had no way of understanding that type of intimacy & openess that comes so naturally to one once they have been married

Normally I'd say to stay away from the FWB, but you & this guy have been buds for a long time so maybe u guys can handle it - maybe u r such good friends that the "normal" dating rituals just seem a little out of place in the relationship - heck u guys may well end up 2gether. Best things come from "friends first" imo

w/e u deserve happiness, ocean

id say he doesnt consider you his "soul mate", hes still looking for that special person and in the meantime he has you...as was already mentioned, dump him, dont look back and move on.

Or brothers!

Ick!

I've had a friend -that's a girl, but not a girlfriend whom I've slept with on multiple occasions and never had sex with because when staying at another friends house we could comfortably sleep in the same bed without complications or innuendo.
We definitely have a comfort zone because we are inspired by each other's experiences and accomplishments while maintaining respect for each other's dreams and aspirations.
I only have a nodding relationship with her soulmate but a mutual respect for our common interest.
18 y.o. Glenlivet has encouraged this reply but might also placed this on topic but I don't know what a sober opinion might be.

I have no problem with the term brother and sister when describing a friend. I do it. Even crashing in bed together. However the OP said FWB which includes the benefits part, and that's where I get creeped. I wouldn't be boinking my "brother" if I was using that term because at that point he has become my brother in heart.