Several of my couple friends have "fallen in love" over the last short period of time and are planning cohabition and/or marriage. The issue is, although I wish them the best, it seems that as I grow older, I have seen and experienced that even if you love that person, doesn't mean they're the right one for you.

After an initial period goes by -- then the arguments start up over this, that and then eventually -- everything.

This tells me that they didn't take the time to compromise or discuss how they planned to live their lives after reality sets in. BEFORE THE BIG SHINDIG. It's all fine and dandy to have a big ol' wedding party planned, but what about the mundane day to day things that have to be taken care of too after THE BIG DAY. How much time is spent deciding these things? The minutae of daily life does sometimes hit you hard after the wedding planning and party have wound down.

The wedding is better discussed and planned than the marriage. I believe ppl do not openly address most of the reality situations that can come up. Finances, trash, laundry, bills and spending (again the financial thing), social life, cooking, in some case, raising kids, shopping etc., etc.

Then, they're surprised that after a while, it's not quite as romantic and then the fights and arguments start.

All I'm saying is that there's nothing wrong with marriage -- it's that we end up marrying the wrong person or for the wrong reasons. Which means, eventually it's doomed.

Sounds like it would be
wise to figure out how to
recognize these qualities
in people... those things
that people do that demonstrate
loyalty and a certain ability
to navigate through tough times...

the love "feelings" are cool
and all... but I look for deeper
chit as well. To me, that's the more
important stuff... so that's what
I look for now.

when you look at the divorce rate..
I`m gonna have to agree with you..
but since I`m not married or have never been married...
maybe I best keep my mouth shut....

My perspective has certainly changed as I've gotten older. Marriage more important than wedding, althought the wedding day is pretty special, but it's just one day.

I believe that the major problem with marriage isn't that people marry the "wrong one". I mean, sure, that does happen. But the major thing is that people just do not want to work on a marriage. When it gets hard, or depressing, or seems to just not be what they thought it was going to be, people want to abandon ship.

My Grandparents have been married over 50 years. In that time frame, they were divorced one time (a year), seperated, and have faced many challenges that most couples face. And why did they go through all of that and still end up being together? Because they fought hard for it. Yeah. Both of them made mistakes. But at the end of the day, they loved each other so much that they would go through Hell for one another.

People these days don't want to do it. It is so easy to just toss the old relationship aside and move on to another one. This feeling mostly steems from the initial "high" that you get when you first fall for someone. You all know the feeling I am talking about. And that is basically what is happening today. Toss the old one away and get a new one. Keep them for a couple of years, or until they become a nag, toss and repeat process. Sad.....but true.

No, not keep quiet with your opinions, maybe you've seen some of this as well, through the years and decided it wasn't for you. Maybe you're wiser that you give yourself credit for. May this bouquet walk up the aisle with you one day (if that's what you want). Beware my words and thoughts

I know love isnt enough. I was young when I first married, shhh I still am, but eventually as we grew up we realised what we ultamitly wanted out of life dindnt coinside. We wanted the same things as youth but as my x continued colege she grew to want a knew lifestyle one that I didnt wnt to live. So the women I loved for two years of my life no longer existed and WE LITTERALY GREW APART.

Check out my about me portion of my profile.

good topic by the way.

thankyou

So true my dear Goof. I still believe we end up divorced because the marry the wrong person or for the wrong reasons. There are a lucky few who take the time to discuss, compromise, and discover expectations beforehand, therefore pretty much eliminating potential nasty surprises along the way. Of course, this all goes out the window when one or the other changes the rules unfairly.

You're very clear about how you want to live your life now and in the future. Sometimes ppl will agree that they are okay with what you want and what they want, but these decisions are usually made during the "glow of being in love". I don't know about you, but I prefer to make decisions logically rather than emotionally. Being in love is great and all, but reality does set in at some point in time.

Thunder Bay is a great place, BTW. I come from Southern Ontario and sure do miss the beaches there.

Idd like to think people dream about what your grandparents have. Thats a special thing.

though If it werent for my first marrage I wouldnt be who I am today and out of the 4 yrs I tride to make mine work. The first two years of our marrage will probably be the best two years of mywhole life eaven if I can fined the American dream of a 50ith anaversery.

All in all even a devorced marrage can be worth it.

Have you started school yet?

Yeah I guess I kinda trailed off their sorry.

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face



(Mum mum mum mah)




P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face




(Mum mum mum mah)

LMAO @ Atlantis

Thanks to you for Britney Spears..then that lead me to watch Lady Gaga videos.

i would sue her...or at the very least gouge my eyes out and cut off my ears!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj7LPKBF8iY