I'm a 20 year old guy who likes who he is. But there is one thing that i
have a major problem with. Well ever since i went through a bad
relationship with a girl i was suppose to be engaged to. After me and
her broke up i seem to aquire a fear of girls. Well i cant blame it on
one relatioship. It mostly is a bad relationship with all that i dated.
Well now it to the point where i cant even ask one out. Is there a way
to avoid these types that i always get string up in. And is there away
that i can rebuild my confidence to find the right one. thanks

JUST remember to be yourself.

As a "victum" of women myself, it seems harder and harder to find a good
woman. You are still very young in age and all I can say is that you
need to look past their looks and see what they are like on the inside.
Now I'm not saying looks dont matter, because you can tell alot from the
way a person carries themselves. You just need to ask yourself are they
making themself appear that way just to impress someone or are they
trully that way. Social dating is a plus, because it allows you to see
how they are around others. And you shouldnt do it for just a couple of
dates. To see them for who they truly are it should go atleast 5 or 6
casual dates before any serious thought about being "exclusive".

Dude... most men have had a bad relationship, its like a rite of
passage.
You must take what you can from this experience... because every guy
thats been through this will tell you that there was signs that you were
heading for trouble with this girl.
So stop being crippled by that girl, it was her intention to take your
manhood... did she, because you sound like a whinny punk... otherwise go
out and sweet talk some chick into the sack.

Number one Ontario it wasnt one relationship its been all of them and
number two no she didnt take my man hood and number three im not going
to sweet talk no girl in the sack because that isnt what is on my mind.
unlike you i like to date for a girl. not to date for the bed

What do you mean all of them? Do you have problems with every girl you
date?
And yeah when I was your age I was playing College Football, and Banging
Chick after Chick... I was never fogged in like you are... what are you
20.

David you right, you can't blame one situation for all the rest.
Everyone is there own person. The one thing I do is take a look at that
situation head on and find out what I did wrong in it and try to fix
that. What I'm geting at is even though you went through a bad
relationship. It took both of you to get there. Getting over the fact
that someone mit hurt you a gain. Guess what. That is part of life that
you'll have to go through. It's just in some situation you find yourself
going through again you have to chose what direction you want to go.It's
just each time it comes up you'll know how to deal with it better. That
is if you face the truth about it.

Look... stop sweet talking him!
He,s a Man... I guess?

yes I seem to have problems with all the relationship i been in its
either i wont have sex with them or they say i wont tell them i love
them or i take the relationship to slowly or i had some break up with me
because im not into drugs like them but most of the time its because i
wont have sex with them me and my x-fiancee was over i came home early
and caught her in my bed with my best friend

Well Dude, I have never had a problem downing a chick, and I do not
understand why you do.
Is it a religious thing? Are you a virgin? Are you confused about your
sexual orientation?
Please... tell us.

It's not about sweet talking him. It's about the fact of life. Eather
you do something about it or you don't. If you think geting pussy is
going to fix it. Guees what people. Your just setting yourself up again.
The problem is still there. the only thing different is he had an HR
fun.

Look Shadow, guys, need sex sometimes to feel like a guy.
It relieves stress, and it makes you feel better emotionally and
spiritually.
If a 20yrs is no interested in downing as many girls as possible there
has to be a reason.
Its better that he address it here in semi public and free himself of
it, then stay in the closet.

no its not a religous thing nor is it im confussed its just that i dont
believe that sex creates a relationship nor does it make one better plus
i feel like i would be disrespecting a female if i have sex with her
with out loving her. no i am not a virgin and yes i do have sexual
desires like any other man out there but im able to control them. plus
im not into having sex likes its a contest. i do believe that sex should
only be used if there is love between the two ppl and for me thats hard
for me to aquire when most of my relationships never get to get that far
now if i could truely say that i had love for those girls more than a
friendship love then i might of gone for it but im able to know what im
feeling for some one i know the differents between mind set love and
heart set love A.k.A puppy love and true love. i might be young but i
was forced to grow up fast in my life i guess you can say i got to skip
teen years and i would never have sex unless there was heart set love.

Well... good luck with that lifestyle.

Maybe you do to feel that way. lol, Look this wasn't about sex. yes get
it out if you need to. But if you come back and nothing has changed.
Then what? All you are doing is telling him to get a quick fix and there
is never a quick fix foe anything in life. And if you think so. I would
hate to be you.

Look Shadow, I hate a candy ass.
I can,t tell if you are a woman or man by the photo, but it does,nt
matter.
Your logic is warped, and you should not be giving advice.

Really? Kinda funny coming from a guy that thinks porking a girl is
going to fix everything. See It's men like you that use woman. Then
people wonder way some of them have problems with us. And if you had any
respect at all. You wouldn't have mad the stupid comment about the hair.
And if that was suppose to make me mad. I'm here to let you know that
the little kid comment was funny LMAO. Some day when you grow up. Let me
know IL be happey to talk with you. :)

David,
Sounds like you have some trust issues from being hurt, It happens to a
lot of us, Just take your time to find the right person and it will work
out, Dont rush into being with someone because you are lonley. You sound
like a real nice guy us women are looking for. Not all men need to fuck
just to fuck.
Just be yourself and dont change for anyone, the right one will come
along, You are young, I am 36 and still looking for MR right not MR
right now though.

thanks ShagnaC but how do i deal with the trust issue will it get better
by it self or what because i do know i do have that issue but i dont
know how to fix it

Your welcome David,
Trust takes time, Just dont open yourself up so fast to women and it
will help, Sometimes we fall to fast for someone and open our heart just
to let them get hurt. Take the time to really get to know someone and
that is how trust is earned and given. I have trust issues but I dont
allow that to hinder me in meeting other people, I am just a lot more
cautious who I let close to me, If they are good quality people we need
in our lives they will accept this and not force the issue.