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Topic: dreading this first
Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 10:26 PM
So Saturday is my cousin's wedding, this will be the first family event where I'll be in the same room with my exbf, niece and their new baby, and our whole famn damily. I don't want to be so self absorbed that I can't be there to support other family members. We're not the kind of people to fight. How do I keep myself from crying or saying some snide a$$ comment? At least I've lost a bunch of weight and look pretty good, too bad I'm going alone. Any advise or encouragement greatly welcomed.

d24 Joined Thu 09/20/07 Posts: 2560	Thu 08/05/10 10:29 PM
Just try to act like nothing happend if you can. Is your Ex dating your niece?

misterfreeze Joined Fri 06/25/10 Posts: 252	Thu 08/05/10 10:31 PM
So Saturday is my cousin's wedding, this will be the first family event where I'll be in the same room with my exbf, niece and their new baby, and our whole famn damily. I don't want to be so self absorbed that I can't be there to support other family members. We're not the kind of people to fight. How do I keep myself from crying or saying some snide a$$ comment? At least I've lost a bunch of weight and look pretty good, too bad I'm going alone. Any advise or encouragement greatly welcomed. Just pretend he's not there and enjoy yourself. If he approaches you act like you hadn't seen him there. Say some quick Hi then go on with something else. It will kill him that you don't care.

newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Thu 08/05/10 10:32 PM
I can only speak for myself honey. I try to avoid the face to face meetings. It isn't I don't want to see her, it's just easier that I don't............

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Thu 08/05/10 10:32 PM
Ronnie, you look fabulous!! Go, have fun, smile and laugh and don't even look their way. Hopefully he will have the decency to stay away and let everyone enjoy the evening.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Thu 08/05/10 10:36 PM
ok...practical advice... get some family member(s) to be your designated support.... they hang with you and stick with you through this first event and when you run across the x you just stay formally cordial then head off and talk some more with your designated support they will help you get through it. let them help. be nice and unaffected - it is the best way to go.... and lean on some other family and friends! take something small to calm your nerves if absolutely necessary.

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 10:37 PM
We lived together for four years. He moved out and they got a house together on May 7th and their baby was born on the 4th of July (less than 2 months later!) Last Thursday he proposed to her and she accepted on FACEBOOK! It feels like they did that to rub it in my face, but the truth is they are both so inconsiderate that my feelings probably never even occurred to either of them.

gtbulldog Joined Wed 09/27/06 Posts: 570	Thu 08/05/10 10:40 PM
So Saturday is my cousin's wedding, this will be the first family event where I'll be in the same room with my exbf, niece and their new baby, and our whole famn damily. I don't want to be so self absorbed that I can't be there to support other family members. We're not the kind of people to fight. How do I keep myself from crying or saying some snide a$$ comment? At least I've lost a bunch of weight and look pretty good, too bad I'm going alone. Any advise or encouragement greatly welcomed. The words that I say is, just be yourself...and if things get out of hand...Just leave.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Thu 08/05/10 10:40 PM
and if you don't feel like talking to them then don't!

d24 Joined Thu 09/20/07 Posts: 2560	Thu 08/05/10 10:46 PM
Just try to act happy for them if possible..It should burn them up.

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 10:46 PM
ok...practical advice... get some family member(s) to be your designated support.... they hang with you and stick with you through this first event and when you run across the x you just stay formally cordial then head off and talk some more with your designated support they will help you get through it. let them help. be nice and unaffected - it is the best way to go.... and lean on some other family and friends! take something small to calm your nerves if absolutely necessary. I like that! Designated support! I do have several cousins who I know will be there for me and not just saddle up next to me for the juiciest gossip. I have to make sure the mess that is my life doesn't detract from the happy couple's special day.

gtbulldog Joined Wed 09/27/06 Posts: 570	Thu 08/05/10 10:48 PM
We lived together for four years. He moved out and they got a house together on May 7th and their baby was born on the 4th of July (less than 2 months later!) Last Thursday he proposed to her and she accepted on FACEBOOK! It feels like they did that to rub it in my face, but the truth is they are both so inconsiderate that my feelings probably never even occurred to either of them. Don't worry about him anymore...

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 11:12 PM
Ronnie, you look fabulous!! Go, have fun, smile and laugh and don't even look their way. Hopefully he will have the decency to stay away and let everyone enjoy the evening. Thank you, I hope you're right and he just steers clear, or maybe the coward won't come at all not wanting to face the family.

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 11:26 PM
I can only speak for myself honey. I try to avoid the face to face meetings. It isn't I don't want to see her, it's just easier that I don't............ That's why this is such a dilema, can't avoid them without missing out on the whole rest of my big loving family.

d24 Joined Thu 09/20/07 Posts: 2560	Thu 08/05/10 11:35 PM
Take someone with you

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 11:42 PM
Take someone with you I would love to, but I haven't met anyone yet. And what guy wants their first date to be at a wedding? lol

d24 Joined Thu 09/20/07 Posts: 2560	Thu 08/05/10 11:46 PM
Happens alot..Its always fun

gtbulldog Joined Wed 09/27/06 Posts: 570	Thu 08/05/10 11:49 PM
I can only speak for myself honey. I try to avoid the face to face meetings. It isn't I don't want to see her, it's just easier that I don't............ That's why this is such a dilema, can't avoid them without missing out on the whole rest of my big loving family. Time will make it's peace

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Thu 08/05/10 11:57 PM
I can only speak for myself honey. I try to avoid the face to face meetings. It isn't I don't want to see her, it's just easier that I don't............ That's why this is such a dilema, can't avoid them without missing out on the whole rest of my big loving family. Time will make it's peace I know, I'll survive this. And like I said, we don't really fight in my family. But it will be painful for me and awkward for everyone. I just want to keep my composure.

d24 Joined Thu 09/20/07 Posts: 2560	Thu 08/05/10 11:59 PM
That is a tough one It will be OK