Hello All,
need little advise , I basically fell in love with my best friend . Her ex is out of the picture. they had a little boy and I have basically been raising him since he was 1 he is 2 1/2 now. She has a major commitment issue. She has a wild side she wants to get out . Evrything she invested in the last relationship blew up on her. I don't blame her for not wanting to be in another relationship. I was that way too.. why I had been single for 6 years. But, so my problem.... I feel a love so.... deep for this women that it hurts! and bring tears to my eyes not to be with her and her child which I love as much as it were mine. We messed around in the beginning but, she said was getting too serious. She didn't want that . Which I understood. She tells me that I mean the world to her and she would be lost without me.. But, we are not together.. don't kiss don't sleep together. She says she knows I would be great man, the best man, but she just can't commit. I don't know what to do about these feelings I have for her . I mean wow..its not a puppy love thing. It is a love, you can't control..one that takes over your whole body gives you chills makes you cry makes you feel every emotion all at once. I have told her that and more but still can't get her to commit. She says she isn't even happy with herself...so how can I make her happy? I just don't know what to do....? I am up for any solution or ideas on how to deal with this. By the way this is my neighbor ...so can't just stop coming around.
Edited by romancingu on Tue 07/27/10 01:56 PM

This will sound hard to do but just back off and give her space. Even though you will see her a lot since she is your neighbor, you need to pull back your emotions.

I would suggest even going out with someone else. If she wants to be with you, she will come to you. Good luck to you.

well kinda hard when we are together all the time.. So I picked a fight to get some space for now.Until I can try figure it out. Didn't know what else to do

I I think dating some one else just isn't gonna happen. When I love some one I am not interested in any one else.

agree for this reason :

she says "she doesn't even like herself"

red flag!!!!!
Stop----look----listen!

She needs to work on herself first!! Before any commitment to any man

you can't be a freind or a lover to any man unless your a freind and lover to yourself first!!!

Good luck


Love Tammy

The only advice I can give you, if you truly love this woman, is to be patient with her. If it is meant to be, it will happen. But if you push her, you will end up pushing her away hun.

Good luck to you! I hope it works out for you both!

If not date someone else, get active with other people who she doesn't know. Stay busy....let her have room to figure out what she wants to do. She will appreciate it.

I was in her shoes one. She is onfused, she has feeling for u that she doesnt want too feel and doesnt know how too deal with them. I believe be patient with her but try too move on as hard as it may be too do but keep in ontat with her. I hope that makes sense too u. As the old saying goes "U dont know what u lost until its gone". Picking a fight isnt a solution but another part of the problem

I suggest hunting for a new apartment. It sounds to me that you've given her nothing but love and time, and she's still not into you in the way you want. Let her know that you either need to move forward or move on, and that you can't waste your life waiting for something that may not happen.

I might sound callous, but it sounds like she's taking advantage of your kind heart.

as the world turns, so do the days of our lifes

maybe she thinks its better to have a best friend than to have a lost love. friendship is one thing, love is other. maybe its the same way it started whit her ex and now she learned her lesson. leave her alone for some time, if she decide to teke her chance she will come to you. good luck.

Romancing,

This advice is given with much experience and well wishes. Give her the time she needs. Go back to being her friend, all lovers should be friends as well. Lend her an ear, a shoulder, words of encouragement. She needs them now. Pick her up when she falls but let her dust herself off. She will find herself and when she does she will be much better suited for a relationship.

If you truly love her, you will want what's best for her, whether that is with you or without. And please remember there is no time table. She will heal and grow on her time not yours. Focusing on developing a solid friendship will help you both.

Good luck.

C

Quoted for truth.

Fear likes me, he wants to kiss me.... Sorry, couldn't resist. It's the e-balls.

What if I do want to kiss you? Haha, your damn e-balls are getting huge.

This is gonna sound crappy but sometimes when someone knows you will always be waiting around for them they take their sweet a$$ time to get to you, if at all.

If I go to McDonald's and they have the McRibb on the menu for a limited time only or a Big Mac ALL the time, which one do you think I'm gonna go for?


You're the Big Mac buddy, you will ALWAYS be on the menu so why should she order you until she's tried everything else on the menu that she wants to try?


I'm not saying don't be there for her but she needs to know that you MAY not always be there to understand what she has. Put yourself first for a bit so she can see what you bring to the table when it's not automatically given.

I carry them around in two bowling bags. But I have gotten us once again.

You have to pick a fight to escape? When happens if you don't?

true love is not possession, true love is wanting the other person to be happy (and its mutual)


seems like she is loving you enough to spare you from an unhappy situation ,,,,try loving yourself and her just as much,,,,,

just my opinion