Find a place with a hot landlord.

That way you'll enjoy going over there to pay the rent.

Hmmmm. This isn't a bad idea. I may be able to "work" off part of my rent.......

Make sure that genuine neccessities are covered. If there aint a liquor store, porn store and at least one neighborhood kid selling pot within a 10 minute drive.....you need to keep looking.

What's an apartment is that like a conpartment?

You can't swing a cat without hitting someone selling pot around these parts. Good point on the liquor store.......

get on the top floor or something wiht no one above or beneath u

trust me on this

My advice: Don't. Don't move into an apartment building. Life is extremely boring there.

I suggest a room is better to rent from a family than living in an apartment alone.

If you have too much stuff, rent storage in the country or in the outskirts of the city. Don't deposit them with friends, it kills friendships.

If you live in an average building or worse, then it goes against you in so many places in your life.

If you live in a room, or god forbid, in the basement of a house, don't let up on it. Nobody will talk to you after you tell. Only bring those to your house whom you trust. (Your dealer, your case worker from the City, or your probation officer's bribe man.) (There is a whole lotta jokes about probation officers goin on around here these days. Anybody can tell me why or how they started?)

geez krupa you oughta move in wiht me - I got all that in arms reach.....pretty much

haven't seem the pimps in the parking lot lately, and it's been a couple months since the cops have been out back, but heck we exceed the rest of ur criteria by a mile


(I stay indoors a lot)

ive had only 2 apts when i was young... never again... anyhow.. i was downstairs in both.. they had duplicate floor plans both 2 bedroom.. 1st one i could hear the mattress springs and headboard hit the wall all night when the guy brought some gal home.... 2nd one... kids.. 5 am riding their big wheels across the floors yea i worked till 3 am so was not too happy! then their deck was above my patio well.... had a pool on it... didnt have the decency to come down and tell me they were dumping it... good thing i wasnt standing out there nothing like a urine shower huh?
ive also heard in my moms downstairs apt.. real loud footsteps she said they went on all night long!

hint dont get a bottom floor one... unless its townhouse style

" Life is extremely boring there."

-you've obviously never visited my building - fortunately it has been boring lately - when it's not boring , it's usually something dangerous

we do have free wifi which is cool

If you still decide to move into a big building, make sure the airconditioning works in the summer. If you can't get any assurance for that, don't move in.

If you move into a house with cheap landlords, the basement is the best to weather the heat. You'll get no daylight light, and will inhale the mold non-stop. Good wine-making region, or mushroom farming. Those centipede omelettes are mmm yummy.

If you are allergic to basement mold, and the landlord gets into a fit every time you mention air conditioning, then wear nothing around the house and tell the bugger that that's not improper behaviour in your culture; tell them your mother used to sit on a block of ice, completely naked, and have Bible-reading groups for both sexes of the elders of her church. I am not kidding, I got fed up with living in hell, or in comparable climate conditions, and walk now around the house with no shirt and just shorts on, and the landlady screamed at me, and I gave her this story and she did not calm down, but she shut up anyway.

You can only do the culture scam if you speak with a foreign accent like I do.

Great point about the kids around. I would just turn up my music. I love peeing off balconies........

i took a broom handle a few nights to the ceiling when they were sleeping on my night off lol! yes that was after i knocked on the door.. and politely asked them.

How can you have no one beneath, when you live on the top floor?

Trump building comes to mind. Or the pyramids at Ghiza. Or the Canterbury Tales. (CT -- they did not make sense, either.)

I take all these insults back if you tell us you meant "beneath you" in a moral sense.

Hell I was actually looking forward to moving into a place. Now I have to worry about some crazy broad with a broomstick beating on my floor......

Don't forget about the unsafe meth labs, heroin dealers, crack dealer, etc. Don't worry about the unmarked police cars, they're probably there for the identity theives. Oh, and the crazy broad across from you that has a shotgun, and actually shot out your neighbors window for call her a "fat b!+ch". But, don't worry 'cause the projects are way over on the other side of the fence.

you don't have to take anything back - good observation wux. I meant thekind of apartments where it's a single story unit, all units at grounf floor level - no one upstairs nor downstairs - we happen to have quite a few of those in this area

I really should say to be fair to my neighbors - the large majority of them anyway, and to be fair to my landlord, this place is soooo much better now since our current landlord purchased it!!!! waaay better

I was just kidding brother. I grew up dirt poor. No worries on my back.......

one thing I will say. when someone moves in who has never had an apartment before, the biggest thing to remmeber is that you have to be much quieter and careful and considerate of your noise & activties than you did as a dweller in a home. U are not alone and everyone is entitled to their privacy, their sleep, quiet, and a good quality of life, AND an apartment is not a college party dorm (move to one if that is what u want). noise that can be heard from ur place beyond 25ft of the building, u can be cited for. most buildings have rules regarding all of the above, and they will prolly be spelled out on ur lease.

hate to be a downer - but since u were a homeowner I figure ur in for a big adjustment...