"Soul Mate" - It seems to be a phrase I hear a lot these days. (Most recently in an e-mail that the woman my ex cheated on me with and left me for sent to me explaining why it was ok that they did what they did...because they were SOUL MATES!! *groan* )

Do you believe in Soul Mates? That for every person, there is a "perfect" someone that they are destined to meet and be with? Or is the reality more that we "get as close as we can" and then spend our remaining time either trying to make it work or moving on to the next "close enough" one?

Yup, I believe in 'soul mates'..I just think we can have many of them. Is not just 'one' person. All those we connect with at a heart level are our soul mates.

I have no idea. I thought my x and i were going to be together forever, still in love almost 4 years later. Until he told me he wanted to end it. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them too. He claimed he did it for me. I was unhappy with the situation we were in, but i still loved him. I am much happier now and i learned alot from that relationship. Were we soul mates? No. Great Lovers? Yes. I have yet to find anyone who would even resemble my "Soul Mate." I also have no idea where i was going with that..lol. But until i find it, i will keep searching!!

So in your thinking, the term isn't just reserved for romantic type relationships but any relationship with someone that we connect with in our hearts? Because I have several good friends (female) that I "connect with at a heart level"? We know each other so well that we finish our sentences and know when the other needs us. I would say that was "connected at the heart level" yes?

This is how I view soul mates as well.

I don't believe that there is only one person that we are destined to be with.

Yes they would be your soul mates as well.

The woman who used that term is just trying to justify her bad behavior of becoming involved with someone who was taken.

I know what you mean Sherry. My last ex was everything to me...my lover, my best friend...what I thought was my "soul mate". I thought...FINALLY...THIS is what marriage is supposed to be like! But then he found someone else and left me and apparently now is excusing his behaviour in the name of finding his true "soul mate".

So is it possible that one can find THEIR soul mate but they are not necessarily that person's soul mate in return?

"But until i find it, i will keep searching!!" This is what else is bothering me. And if he never shows? Do we keep searching forever?

i used to believe in that sillyness...

Yeah I figured that out pretty quick...lol. I just used that as a recent reference to the term.....but I've heard it all my life. Never put much stock in it until him...thought he was the "soul mate" everyone kept talking about. So I just wondered if I was being naive to believe in it, especially after how that relationship turned out, or if it was something everyone was in search of or maybe a few had actually found?

Nope! The best situation is two people that can tolerate each other.

I figure if i can't find him then im just destined to be alone and i'm ok with being alone and having fun on the side!!

I'm definitely starting to lean toward this way of thinking! But the romantic in me won't let the idea of my perfect man die!

no! That is not the best you can hope for.

I'm also a hopeless romantic!! Just can't help myself!!

Don't listen to them. Hold out for something better. If it doesn't come along then you will be happy just living your life with good friends.

Id rather be alone than be with someone I was just "tolerating".

Plenty of divorced " Soul Mates" out there

No, I do not believe there is just one.
There have been too many for that.
I think we idealize.
Then reality steps in.

I am guessing PATS means that if you
can tolerate someone, not an easy thing,
that the rest can flow around you, like
love and affection, friendship and desire.

You can have it all.
If you can stand someone to start with.
Which means the BIG things, not the little.

Your ex's next ex is quite the charmer
OKCUTIE67 :-)

Never did understand the definition of soul mate. I think it's just a couple of words used to describe something unattainable that too many are searching for and will never find.

I prefer Anam Cara - Soul Friend. They can be friends, lovers, etc. have a short but important time in your life, or a life long relationship, sexual or non-sexual.