...and start feeling controlling? I recently ended a relationship with someone, not from this site, who said he wanted me by his side at all times...I thought...isn't that sweet, though I'm not really a 'joined at the hips' kinda person...but then I discovered he meant it. He started picking apart my friends, didn't want to meet my family members, the last straw was when he 'ordered' me to get off Mingle...ya see how well ordering me to do anything work out for him!

Have any you experienced this, and what point does it stop being cute and start makin the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?

Go make me a sammich & get me a cold beer woman



Seriously though control issues are bad, not healthy for a relationship at all. My ex tried to control me, she found out that doesn't fly with me.

his loss, what I find odd about this is I had the same thing happen to me a few years back and one of your pics looks so much like her

I bet he wanted you to stop breathing also.

I guess I am not meant for dating. I always thought when 2 people got together you shared things with each other... dreams, sorrows, hobbies and yet gave each other space to live and breathe.

I'll get right on it...you sit right there and hold your breath!

Lord have mercy! I'm ME, not her, I promise, I have a birthmark to prove it!

Seriously, I get that all the time...always remindin folks of someone else they know.

Yeah, that's a huge red flag when they start alienating you from freinds and family, then they move on to becoming more and more controlling. Good thing you got rid of him before it was too late.

I beginnin to think I'm not meant for a long term thing, dating I think I can still handle 'cause I get to decide where I'm layin' my head at night...honestly, the thought of moving in with someone makes me almost queasy, immediately they try to reform you and change all the things they said they liked about you. At this age, I'm pretty much done changin', I am who I am, and pretty happy that way.

Humm actually a guy I dated not too long ago right after we met he had already planned me selling my house and moving to the area he lives in ect........... Shshshs made my head spin hell get to know me better than just a few dates..... heck guess he failed to see I have made my own choices for many years....

Needless to say that did not last at all........ I'm one as soon as someone starts with this is how we are going to do it instead what do you think.............I'm gone............

This is exactly why I say that little things DO matter in the beginning. If it bugs you a little now it will only get worse later when you're already invested into the relationship. I tell guys straight up in the beginning that I do what I want, when I want and if you have a problem with that we aren't going to work.

I started thinkin...you don't like my friends, don't wanna meet my family, don't like my dog...WTH are we dating??!! Funny thing is, I talked to him for months and didn't get a hint that he was this way...you REALLY do have to spend time, a bunch of it, with folks before their ugly side shows up.

Yeppers...I don't take kindly to being ordered or pushed...I'll push back and run right over ya gettin the he!! outta there.

I had that happen with the last ex. It seemed to be going great until those three little words came into the relationship. Then poof, bye bye sanity, hello control freak. 3:18 became a running joke at my work, as the fool timed how long it took me to get home. If I got home late, he wanted to know where I was and what (or who would probably be more accurate!) I was doing for those six extra minutes. If I got home early I was in trouble too because how many other days did I get out a few minutes earlier and not come home 'til 3:18? Crazy, I tell ya!

Since he'd never been in a monogamous relationship (he cheated on all his exes!), he didn't think it was possible. His logic was that if he loved me soooooooo much that he would never cheat, well then I must be the one that would. Freakin' idiot didn't know I couldn't cheat if I had to do it to save my life. His control issues killed any love I felt for him in no time flat. I'm willing to share my life, not sacrifice it.

That's really it, right there!

I think the rejection of your family and friends (unless there is cause) is the first signal. I have seen many couples who spend every free moment together because they are in love and don't want to spend that time any other way, and that is lovely. But it has to be balanced by respect for not control of personal and social boundaries

Ya got that right..........I was raised to be very independent and raised my kids the same way.... I promise when I get pushed in a corner these nails come out full force...........all I can say step back or get plowed down........

Now to get my attention all one has to do is treat me as and equal and respect that my thoughts count. They understand that it takes two to make a relationship go smooth....Don't tell me what to do instead ask me instead.....

I tend to agree but control and reasonable expectations are different things. I've known more than a few men who needed some control - they had none themselves (self control), if not their wives, the police maybe?

We really cannot control anyone but ourselves. So if a man thinks I am controlling because I want to spend time wiht him, but he usually prefers to go & get drunk with his buddies. That's a problem, and he is not the man for me. It took me awhile to learn that. Rather than complaining about not being a priority to him, now I just walk away. He never understands why and acts hurt. Shoulda noticed that something was wrong B4 IMO...

And I have started looking at another, different type of man - one who actually likes & values women (me, in particualr) - not the type who wants sex and a sammich and then for me to get out of his face so he can lose money at poker - those days are over....so to the prospects out there...if that sounds like u , u can stay away from my profile (& u know who u are...)

You know, I think in the beginning of a relationship you just get kind of lost and ignore the small things. I once dated a guy years back, when I said I have to get off of this phone and get to bed..he would say, give me another 30 minutes!! I didn't really think much about it in the beginning BUT after a few weeks it became really annoying!!
I finally said, WHEN I SAY I NEED TO GO..I NEED TO GO!! That was just the beginning of him becoming controlling, things just got chaotic so I had to end it and fast!! Of course when I confronted him of his controlling ways, he had NO clue what I was talking about!!