Question: Do children from previous relationships matter when you are looking to date someone? I have three children, (I know, it sounds like a lot for someone my age) but am NOT looking for a "Daddy" for my children...is this too awkward for some people, or how does it affect you?

Depends on the age. If they are young....then that usualy means most of your time is spent on them. So it would be hard for you to invest a lot of time in a relationship which would make it difficult on someone whom you wish to date.

After dating several women with kids in my younger days, I finally decided I just wasn't going to do that anymore.

I'm not trying to single you out here, since we've never met, but every woman I dated who had kids, made the claim "I'm not looking for a father for my child," and then proceeded to try to turn me into a father for her child.

I learned something from this -- I have no interest in, nor aptitude for, being any kind of parental figure. Nor do I have any interest in dating one.

I figure it's best to have that all out in the open, so as not to waste anyone's time.

Makes no effect on me...lol...I have gdau nearly your age. When I was a single dad, I found it difficult to find a waman to date who did not want to "mommy" my kids, the maternal instinct thing, I believe was kicking in. IMAO, men who have been around their own kids, now div or whatever, would be more likely to "daddy" them than one who had no kids of his own. I don't think a person who lets the fact that the other has kids bother him in the initial dating game is worth dating anyhow...lol. One thing to remember...you never md someone without dating them, so, you are in fact "looking" for a father for your kids and a companion for yourself.

I tend to avoid women with kids, it's just not for me.

pats, you avoid women who want anything other than a pure platonic and intellectual relationship

Lol, how are ya bro

great pats, long time no see. just thought I would help you out with the ladies and let them know what you're interested...lol..

My kids are 8 and 10...I just don't include them when i'm dating, I date when they are gone to their dad's house. I have only introduced my children to two other men besides their dad and i introduced them as a friend. Unless you begin to get serious...leave your kids out of your dating world.

Agree, only when the time is right, should kids be put introduced....Well said

You hit the nail on the head with that one.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess your children are very young since your only 22. It is challenging with young kids or any for that matter.

My boys are grown up, when they were younger dating was just too difficult for me, my sons and the men I dated. I just gave up on dating for many years, stuck to time with friends. There were some lonely days but now that, that time is passed I'm glad I did it the way I did.

It's very difficult for men to not feel a need to some degree to be "daddy" if they are around a lot. It's hard on the kids to have "daddies" come and go and as mothers we can be protective and defensive when it comes to our children...we go into mama bear mode.

Also, not all all men have your children's best interest at heart. The number of children who are abused by boyfriends is alarming to say the least. I knew many young mothers during the time I was also one who had their children removed from the home because of abuse, drugs in the home, neglect...
the more of that I saw just re-enforced my decision to just be mom and put the dating aside. Now that my boys are adults no one can come along and abuse them or me....they'll get their azz kicked to the curb.

It's a tough gig you have, but trust me when I say..it's worth to just take care of your kids as best you can. They will remember.

Godspeed

Even though you are not currently looking for a father to your kids; you still marry who you date – and eventually that person will have to co-parent your kids. This is the reason I don’t date men with kids. I don’t want kids in my life; therefore, dating men with kids is a waste of time because I have no future with them.

It would be a bad choice to introduce your kids to anyone with whom you are not serious. Since people should take 6 months or longer to foster a serious relationship, you should be free to date without issues. In other words – do not make your kids part of your adult dating life.

Use common sense and you will be fine. Your kids are your first concern and they depend on you to make good decisions.

i have 2 grown kids and my youngest is a special needs child
if the man cant accept a disabilty then its there loss
they have to accept my kids on how they are

I know well enough not to introduce them, that would cause too much hurt with breakups, etc. Well said about the abuse part, that isn't something that I thought of yet.

My children have their Dads...I just want someone for me. Another problem I've come into is that after my last baby (who's 1) I got my tubes tied. I am not interested in having any more children. My three are enough for me! Will that interfere with my dating in the future?

I don't want to wait until they're older to find someone to spend my time with, mainly because I am lonely, and I have needs! I have time to myself, and I'd like to start a relationship with someone whom I can enjoy that time with.

P.S. Thanks everyone, I appreciate all your input!

Are you asking if having your tubes tied will interfere in the future, or having 3 children?

Good topic. My step daughter wished me Happy Father's Day. My son didn't and my daughter didn't. My other daughter who was born between to a lady I wasn't married to doesn't know I exist as far as I know. My step daughter has two brothers and a younger sister. Since my step daughter was real close with her mother who passed away our relationship has changed for the better. She never called me daddy when her daddy and mother was alive which makes sense because she was 26 at the time. But now she sends me updated pictures of her two boys and two daughters. Chances are she will never call me daddy but undoubtedly there is a bond there. So who knows what is the best thing to do.

I have a son of my own and havent dated anyone else since he was born, im still seeing if things are going to work out with his father and i but i dont think i would introduce my kid to any other guy unless it is serious. Kids dont need to know every guy you talk to plus it takes awhile to truely know what someone is like.

Both!