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| Topic: No choice left. | |
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If you truly feel that the relationship is as bad as you say, and that there is no possible way it can ever be fixed, then you need to get out and get a workable custody arrangement. In the long run, the kids will be worse off if you stay. Yes, they need to have both parents in their lives, but in some cases, it's better if those parents are not together. Believe me, I know how that is.
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Hummmmmmmm see I could never understand why anyone would stay with someone they say they can not stand....
 Honestly I think there is a lot more deep rooted issues here. And the only way to work problems out is with the one your with not the rest of the world.....
It seems you have no problem airing your problems here have you ever really tried talking to the woman your with???? It is hard for me to believe that there were never any feelings between you two and all you wanted was kids regardless whom you had theme with...
If people worked on their problems as much as they complained about them just maybe they would get some of them resolved....... And if in the long run things can not be worked out then I would suggest putting the super glue to your zipper and man up. To me two people can cause more damage to kids by staying with each other when they can not stand each other. Kids are much more smarter then one gives them credit for shshs ask those that lived in homes where the parents did not get along verse those that the parents split in order to bring peace back into their lives.... To me it is a cop out when one blames it all on the kids as the reason they are staying. Either get help learn to talk and fix what is wrong or move on and give each other a chance for happiness else where......  At least that way the kids can grow up in a loving environment.
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Edited by
skydancingA
on
Tue 06/15/10 08:06 AM
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SHE ruined YOUR life?
She didn't have any sperm. |
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Takes 2 to tango. They both gotta take the heat cause neither one did a damned thing to prevent this little domestic disaster.
So yeah, she gets half the credit on this one. |
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I have a three year old whom I love dearly, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am now going to have a son, the whole thing is nearly complete. All I ever wanted since I was a kid myself was to have a son, a daughter, and a loving wife. The only problem is the wife part. Thank God I was smart enough not to marry her. I absolutely hate her, she is by far the worst girlfriend I or anyone could possibly have. Aside from the kids part I truly wish that I had never met her. I wish that I could get away but she has my children and they are more important to me than my chance at happiness. I feel that I have no choice but to stay with her. Every day I feel this growing resentment toward the ***** that has ruined my life but hey, I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it right? Who ruined your life? I doubt in any way she can be held completely responsible for the ruination of your life, that said. You loved something about her in the beginning or you would not have had children with her. Some of us cause our own resentments, accept your responsibilty in your life and your own feelings. Love your children and try to remember what drew you to her and why........write it all down go back in your memory to the first date, etc. There is something lovable about everyone and things not so lovable. What sets us apart is when we make those decisions to love, remains the fact that we choose to love others despite what we dislike. Always focus on the likes, responsibilities, and decisions you yourself make. This is only one side of the story. |
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Hmmm.. This is actually a touchy situation.. If it was me i would leave but i will still be there for the kids.. I mean you sound like you really hate her.. I only hate my baby's mama (Second one anyway) about 25%.. But it seems to be the best thing to have breaking up with her.. She just wanted to argue over every lil thing that was past history instead of working for the future.. We still argue but now i really only care about the kid & not what she wants to bring up other than that.. Yeah i wanted to stay in the relationship because of the kid but trust me it will make you more miserable than you are now.. It's like they try to push your buttons but when you ignore them it will make them even madder.. Truthfully i used to like that.. I used to get some great sex when she's angry.. Damn i need to get her mad for old times sake..
 Ok what was i talking about again.. Oh yeah, She would get mad & start having a attitude for days.. OK this has turned into a senseless babble session..
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If deep down inside, you still love her, tell her so, and explain to her you want to fix it, and be a happy family again. I bet she'll go for it, but probably not, if she catches you on a dating site. Especially if she reads what you originally posted.. 
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One ALWAYS has choices!
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ok, i'm confused...you have a 3 year old and now one on the way, right? did you trip on something, hit your head and have an epiphany after being with this woman now for oh, lets see, what about 4 years? why in the world would have a second child with this person since you "hate her"??????????????????????????????????? how can you be this irresponsible? children need TWO loving parents, not the example you are giving them! no matter how long you have wanted to have a son, this is a most UN-healthy way to go about it. i cannot think a more selfish act than this....having a child for the sake of having a child....poor judgment to say the least! by the way...you did have a choice and you have made it. you choose to be in a fraud of a relationship, but to make matters worse, you chose to bring a forth life into it as well. (if you do not plan against pregnancy than you might as well be planning for it!) I’m not trying to blame anyone else here but myself. I did have somewhat of an epiphany. I realized that I’ve been lying to myself for a long time now and what’s worse, I realize that in one way or another I really knew the whole time. And as for the hating part, until a couple of days ago I never would have believed that I was capable of thinking such a thought. And about her. I worshipped the ground she walked on for a long time and I’m afraid that whether I like it or not I always will in some way. Dude  .. sounds to me like you need SERIOUS professional counseling. Talk about double messages. Geesh.
And I do not agree with anyone who says 'she is of the devil' .. pain and heartache take TWO. Period.
So instead of living in complete emotional chaos why not get an outside opinion (not ours - we are just wanting the best for you .. get OBJECTIVE PROFESSIONAL help) for the sake of the children. And remember one thing. You may call her whatever you like, and feel about her however you like, but she IS carrying YOUR child & you already did this one time around. So her being your 'babyhouse' TWICE is something to give her credit for. DAMN. 
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lol damn you need some counseling try that
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