I am talking about myself, of course.

The other night, I went out with a few friends, including a guy I have known for ten years.

We were engaged for five years, then we split. It was a mutual thing, not a bad breakup at all, and we have remained close friends ever since, with the occasional tryst when we are both single, just to help each other out. No strings, no "feelings", no awkwardness later...just sex.

So anyway. We went out. Had a fantastic time, drinking, dancing, watching the drag show, drinking some more...end of the night came and for the first time ever, I get to hear these words: "I can't tonight, Jess. Its not you, please believe that. I just can't do this with you anymore, for more reasons than you could understand right now."

Talk about floored.

I don't mean to sound conceited or anything. I have been rejected before, and honestly, I just moved on, it wasn't a big deal. But this time....

I don't really know what my point here was. Maybe to just vent. Maybe to get some feedback on which direction my thoughts SHOULD be taking, because right now, my brain won't shut up.

Ahhhh ok I'm done now. Thanks for listening, if anyone does read this lol.

Maybe the guy has more feelings than you realize??

Just a thought.

You know for a guy to turn down sure-thing-no-strings-attached-sex there has to be some thing going on with him. I know it's hard to grasp but I'm sure you know he did really want it. There's a good chance that hanging out and having a great time all night brought back some old very strong feelings on his end.

If that is the case, then I wish he would've just told me that. I don't think that is the case, though, because he knows I don't want a relationship with a man....but then, maybe him knowing that is what made him say no....hmmm....

Sounds like he met somebody hence the no strings part of the arrangement............

REAL good chance he has feelings .. I think it's commendable

Maybe he hooked up with a dirty girl and got an STD

for sure....he met someone...in addition, wouldnt be surprised if he tries to keep both on the go

He isn't like that. He has always told me in the past when he was with someone. Even while we were engaged, we were in an open relationship, he always told me, and I him. Why start lying now?

denyabitlity....maybe this other girl isn't up for the open status...this would require him to begin lies and hiding things.

He wouldn't lie to ME though, thats what I'm saying. And if he was trying to lie and mess around on someone else, then why reject me? Knowing that it happens, and its done, we don't talk about it or anything, it is what it is and thats the end of it.

had you had nsa sex with him before?

Yes. We ended our engagement 4 years ago and have had NSA sex many times since.

honestly that a tough one then. if you are certain he wouldnt lie then i dont know. ive been in a similar senario a couple times before. It might not be as bad as you think. have you tried talking about it? my guess would be that something is for sure going on..just undure of the severity or seriousness of it. the flag in my mind is from him saying you wouldnt understand....what wouldnt you understand if you are both open?

Sounds like he phrased it just right so he wouldn't HAVE to lie to you. Just left it completely open for speculation. It also sounds like he doesn't want you digging any deeper, maybe he will tell you when he's ready.

He could be interested in someone and does not want her to find out anything happened bvetween you two, you two were seen together, Etc. He may not wish to ruin a trust he is currently trying to build. Do not analyze it or assume it makes an Azzz out of everyone. You should come out and ask if everything is allright. COuld be he is not ready to move on or opn up yet fram a past relationship, maybe it meant more than he thought, or yes even feeling for you. There are so many scenarios....it is best not to guess.

i agree...guesswork wont help...you have to talk to him.

To me this says he doesn't want her to ask about it, but that's JMO.

you are probably right...but the poor girl deserves to know. especially since she is directly involved. i think the dude is being an idiot.

Deserves? Not really, thats why it's called no strings attached.