i was angry and upset at my boyfriend the other day because of stupid insecurities as you sometimes do and i was talking to my mum and a friend that i was thinking twice about being in a relationship and im better being single and thinking about the future and how i couldn't see a life with him....now i'm feeling guilty because i know that it was selfish and i was being ungreatful because he really is the best thing that has ever happened to me and that was the first time i had ever thought horrible things like that when it comes to him and because of the guilt i don't know whether to tell him what i was thinking or not it's weird but it's like i feel like i want to apologise to him...

nothing stupid about insecurities,..you must of had your reasons,..

examine those reasons,.

if you did not confront him,... apologize to yourself,..you were the one who was hurting,..what made you see it the other way ?

sometimes even when we`re just "thinkin " we wronged someone in our minds,... we`ve wronged them in reality,..understandable,..

you have a strong conscious,.. extra helpin of guilt,..

still I`m wondering what changed your mind ?

Hmmm, interesting... first - you were angry and upset at his actions, second - you were feeling insecure, third - you were contemplating that he is the wrong guy, lastly - you think you should not talk to him about it and/or feel uncomfortable sharing you feelings with him, and you want to apologise for something he knows nothing about?!?!?...

not sounding positive...

Good luck, sounds like you will need it!!

$.02

you should talk with your friends, mum, and trusted confidants about your feelings or just keep them to yourself for a while.

you may realize that there is something important you need to say to him and then you can carefully and rationally decide what you want to say and why you want to say it...but give it some time and let some other people you know and trust who are smart about these things advise you first.

it sounds to me like you may be jealous or perhaps he is doing something that is upsetting you in another way.

first you should ask yourself what is it that he is doing which is really bothering you. if he is doing something which is not right or something which is easy for him to change and it is hurting you then you may have to discuss it with him. but don't do it in the heat of the moment. give yourself some time to carefully consider how to deal with the problem.

it is always good for you to try to understand yourself also and evaluate why you feel the way you do before discussing anything with him.

Odd. All this 'sturm und drang', yet no mention about anything that HE may possibly have done to CAUSE any of these feelings ... absent some 'splain about the SOURCE of this burst of 'insecurity' - or whatever else it could be called - this sounds like it's an internal drama being played out with only one player involved. Why tell him ANYthing ... ? He didn't even know any of this was going on, from what you say here ... this sounds as if it's between you and ... well, YOU ...

Talk to him. If you can't, then there's a problem.

I don't agree.. Everyone has thoughts that go through their head valid and invalid... You don't have to discuss every single thought with your SO, sometimes they're rather mundane and just a waste of sharing.. Why make him feel bad when there is no need? She didn't cheat, she had some crappy thoughts.. Who doesn't get po'd and think mad things here and there...


My .02 is keep it to yourself or someone close to you (besides him) that you feel understands you...

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. "

-Will Durant

I agree with Knight, plus Ind Prncs has a good point. If this is all in your head, as you describe OP, then the only thing you need to first, identify where it came from, so you can resolve it, and then you really would want to apologize to your BF for abusing him out of no where. But an apology for a misbehavior that lacks any knowledge of what triggered it, and no plan to prevent it's recurrence, is meaningless and annoying.

Now, if there WAS something this guy did that set you off, it doesn't matter how wonderful he might be at other times. Get yourself out of thinking that someone can BUY your loyalty and affection. You don't OWE anyone your love, you either give it or you don't. They either please you or they don't. If he was abusive, or dismissive, or callous about your concerns, or whatever, the fact that he also gave you great sex last week doesn't make up for it. Relationships have to have BOTH elements to succeed.

Don't talk to your family or friends, unless you know it's legit. All that does is set the family or friends up to be upset with the other person, and he is clueless, for no real reason.

I write it down. I totally unload on however many pieces of paper I need. Then I put it away for a couple of days where no one will find it. Cool down, let the steam settle. Then I pull it out, read what I wrote. If I think it's a legitimate complaint, or view, I will discuss it with him. If it's not legit, then I burn it. You've vented, and feel better, and have decided whether it was important or not. No one but yourself ever needs to know. Unless it was a legitimate reason, and then he needs to know.

being confused on your own thoughts is a problem within yourself.. try and fix "your" problem yourself.. sit down and think why did i think that? usually when you think something there is a reason for it to have been thought about. however it sounds like this is a struggle with yourself.. take some time for yourself..and dont forget to think about "you" good luck..

yea sometimes we talk too much about nothing to others.. then they get a bad impression of someone. then you really have to struggle with all loved ones in the future if it was really nothing at all going on..