I've been with this guy for 2 yrs.on-off.He continues to do all the wrong things and says he's sorry like every other day(literally) to where I just don't believe him anymore and pretty much think he's full of b.s.My problem is that he and my 5 yr old daughter have grown close and I need to know how I can handle that plus....I know I don't love him the way I should bc when he asks me to marry him,it just doesn't feel right.He's everything we need-provider,great friend,good father figure,funny,etc but he's got bad habits,he lies,bad in bed,and keeps things from me.Should I continue to settle for what I can get or should I move on looking for something I want that might not even exist?

Wow, you answered this yourself. Dont put yourself through something that makes you unhappy. Life shouldnt be unhappy. Live to the fullest and get something better! You deserve better and you know it!

Why would you EVER settle for " what you can get "???

I think you already know the answer. If you don't, my advice is....

Move on, you deserve better than that.

That being said... Have you spoken to him and been honest with him? Have you given him the opportunity to salvage the relationship? Unless of course you don't want to but I'd think if you haven't then it's only fair that he knows he's going to lose you.. JMO...

If he's a good father figure & close to your daughter. There's no reason why you can't end your relationship & still allow them visitation the same as if he was her Dad & you got a divorce. JMHO

Something better does exist.Deep down you know that since you said it doesn't feel right.Don't be afraid to make a change,life will go on.Your daughter deserves you at your best,and you can't be at your best when you are unhappy.I have been where you are,and my biggest regret is that I didn't walk away sooner.

I have talked to him,numerous times bc I've been married before and I know how important open communication is in a relationship.It's just everytime I BRING IT UP he does this thing where he flips the script and gets on the defense and starts pointing out things that happened like months before that I did.....and it's always something stupid like I didn't give him attention when my grandmother called lol.To me,and this is jmo,if there is a problem whatever it is I feel that u should be able to talk about the situation when it happens if it really bothers u that bad.Not to argue,to talk and solve the problem but he doesn't see that.It always turns into me just being a ***** some how.

Ok. Here's the scoop.

You are 28. You are most likely going to live to be 85 or so. Do you REALLY want to settle for what you " can get " and be miserable for the next 60 years or so???

I have settled for what I could get a few times and in every single case, I was completely miserable.

I am now 40 years old. I have been single for over 5 years and I kept it that way because I refused to EVER settle like that again.

For the last few months, I have been in contact with someone who, by all accounts, is the woman I don't have to " settle " for. She is everything I have been wanting and needing.

If someone is out there for ME....trust me....there is that special someone out there for you.

It may take you a while to find him, but he IS out there.

oh I know that one for sure... Don't settle, everyone deserves to be happy and treated with love and respect

there was this guy i dated 20yrs ago he kept saying he was sorry for stupid things he would do but he wasent for he would do them all over again... the old bf i dont think he actually lied but hide the problem from me which i didnt find out untill much later that he was doing coke
in fact we had a get together one night and i was still good friend with my first bf when i was 16 and i invited him over. well i have no clu where i was at but the first bf told me the next day that my bf and his cousin were in the bathroom doing drugs. and of course the bf lied and said they wernt.... even after we had broken up we still talked and would hang around together.. but i watched my pees and qus with him. i even went over to his house one time while his cousin was there and he was being to dang paranoid. and get this the meals on wheels van was next door and he kept saying they were spying on him... geeze. so i confronted his cousin and admited that jr was on some drug.... so i didnt talk to him after that for quit sometime but the worse part was dealing with him as bein a alcoholic he denies he has that problem im suprise after all this time he doesnt have a dang liver diease
he even talked about marriage it was shortly after i met him and he insisited for me to tell him i loved him.. i told him you cant force anyone to love anyone. and besides that i wasent even divorced yet at the time.. it got final about a month after i met him

That is kind of what I went through with him when we first met.I found out that he had blown all his income tax on weed instead of helping me with bills.I broke it off and kicked him out,didn't see him for 2 mths. until he came crawling back,doin the cryin thing andI freakin fell for it.He hasn't moved back in,but I guess u can say that we're workin on it.When we broke upthose 2 mths. my daughter became angry and distant,I sometimes feel like I should stay with him bc of her and forget how I feel bc he's the only father she's ever known.Does that sound stupid?

Let your daughter and him visit. You shouldnt suject yourself to staying with someone because your daughter is happy with him. Im sure in time, you will find someone that you and your daughter both enjoy being with.

It doesn't necessarily sound " stupid " but it definitely sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Do you seriously want that kind of influence for your child?

When is enough - enough?

One and done! I don't give second chances. It allows people to drain your soul and cause drama. The simply fact your are posting on a public forum to strangers shows you have stooped to airing your drama. Who needs it??

Raise your zero tolerance to b.s. and get off the roller coaster.

Why put yourself through that? I don't get it. Settling is for victims. Why be a victim? Why justify his actions?

Done; good bye; tattoo a big "L" on his forehead and move on

Yes, that sounds stupid.

you need to really think for yourself
i still talk to the old bf every now and then.but i dont have to deal with him really any more he moved to nevada about 2yrs ago. he move back here for a brief and moved back there.. just because he has been in her life doesnt mean that you have to keep him around to please her it just like if you were married and staying in a relationship because of the child.. thats wrong. your daughter will overcome the issue and perhaps counseling in time may help her and you to understand that you can do better.
i met my son dad when my daughter was 2yrs old and she came up to me one night and ask if he was her dad. bright at that age i was going to tell her truth and he spoke up and said yes he was her dad... he had even talked about adopting her but he never did..
the funny thing that i found was i had to go to the support office to get paper on my son dad and they gave me my daughter dad form and my son and i noticed which was so funny they put my son dad don for my daughter.. and i was laughing and i told them you know its totaly impossible for him to be my daughter dad when i didnt even know him when he was 14yrs old... it was just a big errior but it was funny

Sounds like enough is enough now.

Ok, now I'm beginning to 2nd guess your common sense.

You have a child for hell's sake! She is relying on YOU to make good decisions and to be a good parent. Yes, this is stupid.

You're allowing it ... take responsibility for you life.

lol,hey melodygirl,thanks for that.Now can u throw me a couple of slaps to get my head out my ***?lol