Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: :(
motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21822	Fri 03/26/10 04:51 PM
The truth is, until you have respect for yourself no one will have respect for you. Work on your self respect and you will meet a better class of people. you know i keep reading the have more self respect and i try to but i never really grasped what self respect really is with me. I have different beleifs than others if you could please kind of break it down for me i would love to read it. I do have some basic self respect but i know it goes deeper. It means be more selective, or realize that people are going to take advantage of you and live with the consequences.

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 04:52 PM
Dont guys think that maybe just maybe a girl isnt a slut just because they **ing gave in on having sex because they feel like they are attracted to the person and they want to show it? Im just tired of feeling alone Everytime this happens to me it makes me resent guys or want to change every quality possible you saw in that guy to look for in another guy its painful to go through that and some guys may call girls a slut for even saying this but i bet anything that if an attractive girl walked in to your house and jumped on top of you and said "lets go" you would be led by the nose am i right? of course i am. Some girls like myself like sex????? just maybe. and thats how they show you they are connecting with you if thats not what you want then say NO for SAKE dont just let it happen then fake the mutual feeling and let the girl get hurt because she was only trying to like you or connect with you or give you something special like that sex to me is almost a joke now and i like sex very very much im learning to be a cold heartless *** because of dick heads like this i dont know what to do anymore :( Well, a lot of people are extremely opportunistic, self-absorbed, and manipulative. All I can say is really, really get to know someone before you get too involved. If I had done that the last 94 times, I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now....! Thank you :) I know i should get to know them more thats a big problem with me I don't spend enough time to get to know them It's hard when you get all caught up in that initial rush of feeling so great when you first meet someone you really like. But what I've found is that you can't always (for me, it's more like NEVER!) trust judgments made based on nothing more than first impressions and maybe some basic desires.... I spent most of my life getting involved with all sorts of people who I KNEW (at least on some sort of intellectual level) were no good for me, but I ignored the knowledge and the red flags because it was FUN and because I LIKED being with someone. For awhile. I learned the hard way what works for me and what doesn't. And I won't rush into anything again. And I've developed some standards, some deal-breakers, some personal rules for what I want, and, maybe more importantly, what I DON'T want in a relationship. And that has made it extremely difficult for me to find anyone suitable. But I'd rather be alone than be in another relationship with someone who made me WISH I was alone. very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 04:56 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around.

LeighAnna9 Joined Sun 08/16/09 Posts: 5638	Fri 03/26/10 04:57 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around.

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 04:59 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around. Im not always ok with being alone is there any ways mentally to deal with that?

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:00 PM Edited by msmyka on Fri 03/26/10 05:02 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around. Im not always ok with being alone is there any ways mentally to deal with that? Spend more time alone, spend time with your friends who you have healthy relationships with. Don't date or have sex for awhile. And since you have some history of abuse therapy would probably help.

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Fri 03/26/10 05:01 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around. well thats easy to say when you look like you do. you have a face that can end war and conflict. if you smiled at a man... any man, they`d fall into a puddle of unworthyness

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:02 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around. well thats easy to say when you look like you do. you have a face that can end war and conflict. if you smiled at a man... any man, they`d fall into a puddle of unworthyness

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 05:03 PM Edited by kelli91 on Fri 03/26/10 05:05 PM
very true Im just a little scared of being alone sometimes it affects my sanity. lol not extremely but you know what i mean Self respect is being ok with being alone. You have to be able to feel validated with out having a man tell you how beautiful/sexy you are all the time. You have to know and feel these things about yourself. Self respect is knowing any man is lucky to have you and not the other way around. Im not always ok with being alone is there any ways mentally to deal with that? Spend more time alone, spend time with your friends who you have healthy relationships with. Don't date or have sex for awhile. I don't have a lot of friends ive spent a long time being alone and not just boy wise its been a rocky past and i understand what you mean but i need more friends mine are either too far away or locked up

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:05 PM
You need to have some healthy relationships in your life, whether it be friends or family. People who love you the way you are and dont need you or use you for anything.

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 05:07 PM
I do its hard to do that sometimes i try but its one issue after another im not always onfident i dont just know how to go up to people and make friends right away.

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:09 PM
You're not gonna make trust worthy long lasting relationships overnight. What are some things you are into? If you have a hobby maybe you can meet people who like the same things you do. ie: If you like photography maybe look into taking a class.

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 05:10 PM Edited by kelli91 on Fri 03/26/10 05:12 PM
I like art infact im starting school in May at an art school that does give me a few ideas though thankyou:)

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:13 PM
You are very welcome, hopefully art school will be a nurturing environment for you. To meet other artists and have a feeling of belonging to a part of something bigger will help with your insecurities about yourself.

kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 05:14 PM
i appreciate it :) i feel better

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:15 PM


kelli91 Joined Sun 07/27/08 Posts: 116	Fri 03/26/10 05:16 PM
thank you everyone

wannacuddlewthme Joined Tue 11/11/08 Posts: 7110	Fri 03/26/10 05:28 PM
I'd hit it

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Fri 03/26/10 05:29 PM
I'd hit it Inappropriate... you're fired.

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Fri 03/26/10 05:30 PM
thank you everyone dont mention it, glad i could help