It really doesn't matter. If you enjoy spending time together, take it for what it's worth. Too much analyzing sinks the boat.

That's what I tell myself.

Thats the thought, anyway. Nice one too.

Quoted for reasonableness.

good topic, thought provoking...

IMHO: I think that many times, yes - it is not balanced... for many many reasons (mostly centering around the fact that one in the pairing is many times settling)...

but when two people meet who had no expectations, or even realization that each other could be for them - it tends to be more equal. i think it would tend to be more even when no "pre-requisite criteria" are in play, less analysis - and more "natural" interaction... expectations and analysis (I agree) can "kill it"... before "it" has a chance to begin...

so I would say in general "yes" - unbalanced seems to be more of reality for many, but when it's equal, it sure is grand -- is it not?

$.02

Yes equal would be grand!

I hate being the one who loves more.

I personally don't measure love in degrees. You either love someone or you don't. I love him. He loves me. (In theory only, of course. )

But I mean, why ask if he loves me more than I love him? And how do you measure such a thing? He bought me a ring, I bought him a book? He kissed me twice before he left for work, I only kissed him once when he got home? What are the units of measurement?

To have a man love me would be more than enough, for he'd never be able to equal the love I feel for him since it would be infinite and given in entirety.

Perhaps this perception that one party loves the other party more or less than their partner has a minor role in the inability for people to remain in relationships for very long. It's not a contest.

But I'm fairly delusional so don't mind me.

Equal love is wonderful. I have found it doesn't last if it's lopsided.

Hey your leaning again stop it !

When I've felt love, it has always been equal.

OMG!! I just told a guy that last night!!!!

did you at least do him?


. . .

No, email=doable...too young=not date-able!!

this girl tried telling me that she liked who i was in H.S. but didn't like who i am now. i told her she was full of shyt because she wouldn't have anything to do with me then either.
apparently, i've developed an attitude over the past 18 years.


. . .

NO,,,IF it is then ONE will always innerly feel weaker...
And THEIR other more powerful,,,,or you might say one timid,,one strong....I FEEL and THINK that BOTH MUST WEAR THE PANTS
at different times through ANY relationship,,as BOTH are human and BOTH will share in being WRONG just as the other one...at times.
SO BOTH NEED TO BE AS MUCH AS THE OTHER IN MOST OF EVERYTHING THEY OUR!

Thats just MY thoughts here....

Should have told her to get a clue, I'm nothing like I was in high school, and thank god for that. I was a shy, boring nerd who was afraid of her own shadow, never spoke and let people run over her. Now I'm a gutsy biotch who goes after what I want, and gets it at least half the time. And when I feel something is b.s. I say so. You should have told her to piss off, high school is soooo yesterday...

Haven't we all...

sad thing is, i'm still the same guy i was then. still nice as can be and respectful(if i'm really interested in a person). i was just playing with her. i don't give people second chances. you didn't pay attention then, you don't get my attention now.

maybe i'm not completely the same.


. . .

Great question. It's been my experience that, on both sides of the equation, the answer is usually 'yes'. There's a greater intensity on the part of one party than there is on the other - and that's gonna lead eventually to let-down and disappointment. Lately I've been fortunate enough to meet two ladies with whom the scales were in balance. The first, the person I thought of as the 'love of my life', died unexpectedly in January '08. The second, with whom I still keep in touch, is a wonderful person who just lives too far away. Driving 700+ miles for coffee really does put a strain on 'spontaneity' ... but she's a terrific lady and we still keep in touch. Aside from those two instances, your question describes every other relationship I've been in during the course of this lifetime. It's really quite nice to enter into those where the feelings are mutual and balanced ... I hope everyone can eventually find someone like that for themselves.