Hey all! I haven't used mingle2 in quite some time now and am very drunk at the moment, but I promise I will check back and see what people have to say to this. I am in the midst of an ethical dilemma, as you have probably guessed from the title.

One of my best friends was dating a girl for about five weeks. For the first two and a half weeks, all I heard was complaints about her. Then she met me. She spent the first night unable to take her eyes off me. I didn't realize what was going on because quite frankly for a girl to show such strong interest in me right off the bat is extremely unusual. About two weeks ago we went to karaoke together (the three of us, of course) and she got very drunk. And proceeded to the point where she put her hand down my shirt and asked to see my dick. In front of my friend who was also her date.

They have since broken things off and I ASKED him if I could make a move since she's obviously been interested since day one. He has not spoken to me since I asked and I am wondering if I REALLY did something so egregious that it warrants a halt of communication. I value my friends and would not typically put a girl first who I am only interested in having sex with. But he made it VERY obvious he held no emotional attachment.

The reason why I have posted this on mingle is that every friend I've had has given me a different answer. One thinks I did nothing wrong and should go for it. One thinks I did EVERYTHING wrong and try to make amends. One thinks I should have screwed her and told him nothing, both of us moving past her like it hadn't happened. And I've gotten still other variations.

I'm curious to hear what you think. If nothing else, I should give the mingle community something entertaining to debate. I apologize to the moderators in case something unacceptable has made it through my inebriated haze. I would rather any cursing be altered or omitted than my post be revoked. I intend no offense. I am genuinely curious about this, it has created problems for the last several weeks and I'd really like to know what you think.

One addendum: I need to mention I made ZERO moves on her until after she and my friend had split, and I STILL waited for her to take the initiative. Walking out on somebody is not likely to be construed as a come on. My loyalties to my true friends are the rocks on which I stand and I would do nothing to harm them intentionally.

Please speak your mind and don't be afraid of hurt feelings. I need blunt honesty on this one if I'm going to figure out where I stand. I am not easily swayed and will not be convinced with anything less than an outstanding argument.

Peace :D

I don't really think at 5 weeks he can have to much to say. Maybe 5 months, but not 5 weeks, especially if he complained about her for 2 weeks or so.

You asked, which was decent. He may be upset more with the fact that you and she hit it off better then he and she did.

At five weeks, I would say you're fine to date her.

But that's my opinion.

My loyalties to my true friends are the rocks on which I stand and I would do nothing to harm them intentionally.

If this is true then just forget about her and move on! Is a 1night stand worth losing a good friend? It's not like she's GF material..It sounds to me like she would be the type of chick to play you..Then You have no "good Friend" or "GF"...But thats just my oppinion! :)

Bros before Hos, Dude.

Okay, let's take a look at this here. First; she asked you to show her your dick while she had her hand down your shirt...in front of her 'boyfriend', okay, second; she didn't cut it off with her now ex-boyfriend before jumping on the 'I wanna **** you' bandwagon...so to speak.

Now, after all of that, what, do you think, will stop her from doing the same thing to you?

WHAT??? You even have to ask about this???

To see how she can be just check her record with you.
You could find yerself watching her tellin' another guy she wants to eyeball some dong.

my thoughts exactly

I'm going with the boys on this one. I realize you just want a quick lay but if she acted like that with you, how many others has she acted like that with. They don't make enough condoms for that.

Apologize to your friend, he will understand horniness as a lapse in judgement. It happens to us all.

Unbelievable!
Beautiful and smart. All in one package!

Bros before hos until he tries to cockblock you. Then you do the deed and make him smell your finger to snap him out of it and remind him that you both belong to the male gender. Kind of like smelling salts

unlikely anything good will come of it. i have been in the
situation where my dates best friend hit on me. i waited
until it was over with the one i was dating. after a couple
of weeks, asked her if it was ok if i went out with her friend.



she said she was completely fine with it.



she lied.



you live you learn.

There are so many fish in the sea ... the best advice is:

do not travel in the same circles.

If your friend has had a girl.. she's off limits to you. Unless of course you are no friend.

This works for both genders .. a really good rule of thumb to keep you from looking like an a$$.


Bros B4 Hos.


(and btw ... only use one condom .. double or triple wraps are more likely to fail than a single wrap.)

I didn't read this whole post, but the first part of you explaining how she wanted to see your dick, knowing the situation. I would of told her to get lost.


First of all, she was drunk, second, she was there with your friend. third, it shows that she has no respect for herself. Forth, if she is doing this to you with your friend. How do you know she wont do this to someone else while your there?

Now if your looking for a good time and thats it, have at it, but if your looking for something more serious. Good luck with that.

Its awful if you know it hurts your friend. Its curious that you would not know this friend well enough to know if this would be hurtful to him as well. Personally, this person would be unattractive to me based upon their apparent character(or lack of) and I wouldnt want to touch them with a ten foot pole.

However, I guess if guys are looking for an easy lay, this would be a fantasy. My gauge in such a situation would have to be my friends feelings and what I knew about them. After I am done with a relationship, I am done but if it is an amicable break I would have no problem with a friend that ended up with them as it is likely they may see some of the same things in that person as I did.

If, however, I was with a person that my friend KNEW betrayed or willfully hurt me, I would expect a certain allegiance that they would not have anything intimate to do with the person.

She sounds like a slut. And it sounds like you hurt your friend by asking to sleep with his ex, which I understand. Some people don't mind, but most do, so I get why he was hurt. I guess you could try apologizing to him, just to show your remorse. Doesn't mean he'll forgive you, but at least you would have tried, and at least you would have admitted you were wrong, which is all that's important. Whether or not he forgives you is on him. Sorry you got yourself in a messed up situation, hope it works out for the best for everyone.

Well Amen to that, she is! Probably even worse, she could be a maneater. You have two avenues: You can either hit it and quit it, or you can just not go there with her ever, she's damaged goods, a bad sell, an unneccessary risk, don't play with fire, just pretend she never existed and fuhgeddaboutit.

All I can say is I would hope my friendship was worth more then a piece of azz. For that is all it is nothing more nothing less as soon as she finishes with you she will move on to the next friend.....

depends is 'getting off' worth a friend?

I mean yes it was only five weeks, even if he had no emotional attachment however let's think about this...he went out with her so he obviously had SOME interest in her. Men are by nature competive with each other. So let's say you do get together with her, what he may consider one of his 'failures' for lack of a better word you'd be rubbing it in his face. "yeah dude, she may not have gone for you....but she couldn't take her eyes off me"...blah blah blah. Do you want your failures rubbed in your face? Haven't you ever dated a girl who you knew it wouldn't work out with in the long run, but the thought of them being with someone else kind of bugged you?