Are you my dad????

I like to think that I'm most people's Dads.

Since I have a son your age and one older, I could be your momma

I see how you might think that, but I actually raised myself on my own system of rules here and I haven't hardly aged a day since my 18th birthday. And I do prefer to list my medical age and not my technical age on these sites. My technical age is 48 FYI, the perfect Dad age.

Well...then we are the same age and I have actually raised 3 sons..alone and did not ever use your system..thank god and I have 3 independent, free spirited very wonderful young men.

You are 48 and feeling 18...awesome

Oooooh, you see independence and free spiritedness is one of the main things you want to avoid. First off, they will try and form their own opinions and thoughts on any number of subjects and that's undeniably the worst result you can have as a parent.

I think your approaching this all wrong, the idea of parenting is to basically create a smaller you who is limited by your opinions and beliefs. You'll want to pass those off as fact. And just so that they don't try and avoid that, make sure you give them as little choice in their daily lives as possible. That goes down to the toy they want in their happy meal, you pick which one they will enjoy.

I'm sorry to say, you're probably at the point in which you can no longer form your child into what you want it to be. Although, if you really put everything into it and we did some private consulting I might be able to help you put your kids on track.

Are you out of your fricking mind? This has got to be some joke..
I'm outta here
Peace brother

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

The following is a basic outline of the formula which I use to raise children and is most clearly explained in a list format.

1. Pound the idea of religion into their heads far before they can really comprehend it. Make sure they see you take offense when they are not as involved in church or prayer as you are. If you can find time to yell at your kids about the topic, it would be good because that way you fully express the true gravity of religion.

2. Enroll you child in whichever school you please, so long as you are always talking to the teachers and the staff of the school about your child's behavior and performance. If your child is somewhat bellow the highest standards of that particular grade, then you must punish them by taking away something that's truly important to them.. food. When they get hungry enough, you'll see those grades improve.

3. Set up a system of expectations and rewards very early in life so that your children are more accustomed that type of situation later in their military careers. When a child succeeds, do not deliver the reward you promised them. This way they learn that they can do well and not even have to receive a reward to motivate themselves. If they ask for their rewards or question you as to why you promised a reward, simply deny that you had ever said anything of the sort and proclaim that they were being foolish.

4. This is slightly related to the last rule, but you must punish your children when they do wrong. Make sure it is evident to your kids that you are angry and this punishment is to make you feel better because after all that is the main idea behind punishment. Revenge. Furthermore, this is not about general rules or the kids learning lessons about life and morality, it is about the kids understanding that they serve you and your needs.

5. Make a large list of chores in a very visible and open spot in your living area. Do every chore before they have a chance to do any of them and then hysterically cry and scream at your child for "making" you do all the chores. This motivates them to do more than what is asked all throughout their lives. This practice is best if started at a young age, possibly when the child first starts to understand your chosen language.

6. Sodium must be a very large part of your child's diet, this has been proven by science time and time again. It just makes for a healthier more obedient child that strives to learn and succeed. There's absolutely no medical drawback from feeding a child too much sodium, so it's best to stock up on the stuff and make sure they have more than they need, just to be safe.

All in all, these are just general guidelines that I have found to be the most important and influential ideas to use in parenting. I am right now working on a book that should be published within a year and I write parenting articles for several reputable news sites, so you can trust me when I say these rules are absolutely the 6 most important things to know as a parent.

While it sounds like a recipe for disaster it is thought provokeing.