I RAN AWAY FROM HOME BECAUSE OF MY STEPFATHER . MY MOM DOES NOT BELIEVED WHAT I SAID ..SHE JUST SAID"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PAY THE BILLS ,YOU DONT HAVE A JOB TO SUPPORT ME.." WHEN SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME ... IT WAS THE DARKNESS OF MY LIFE BUT I SAID NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL WITHOUT HER. I STARTED A JOB CLEANING TOILET IT WAS NOT A BIG DEAL ... I DIDNT CARE ABOUT IT.. I STARTED TO EARN MONEY IN ORDER TO PAY MY RENT... I WAS DOING WELL ... BUT NOW SHE STARTED BOTHER ME AGAIN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH HER. I AM HER OWN DAUGHTER SHE CALLED ME A PROSTITUTE,ALCOHOLIC...SHE DOES NOT EVEN ASK IF I NEED FOOD OR SOMETHING. I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE .... I TRY TO DO THE BEST I CAN BUT I CAN NOT HANDEL IT ANY MORE....(SORRY ABOUT MY ENGLISH I JUST HAVE 4 YEARS IN USA)

Sometimes you have to take control of your own life...your mother may come around to her senses some day, but for now, worry about you...period!

IM TRYING ...ITS HARD ..BUT THANKS ...

I think it is sad that a situation like this would happen. You would figure a mother would want to bond with her daughter. I am sensing that your mother is relying more on her husband...your stepfather...rather than on you. All I can say is this, if you are surviving on your own, good for you! Finishing school and having a job to pay for rent is a big plus...especially if you are on your own. But keep loving your mother no matter what. Hang in there. When life becomes better for you, I'm sure your mother will settle down. It will take time. It is the obstacle we go through in life. Life is never easy.

You will be alright. Do not let negativity get you down...even from someone that should be supportive. I do hope things change somewhere down the line between you and your mother. Best wishes!

of course life is difficult! Just don't take things too seriously...you obviously want your mother to show more concern for you, but sometimes parents are caught up in their own dilemma's. Just focus on want you want in life and go for it....It took my father 20 years before he figured out he was losing out on his son...now he calls me at least once a week to see how things are....your mother may never come around, but if you are in a bad situation, get out of it...

thanks so much .... ur comment help me alot.. and of course i love her she is my mom not matter what....

there is a poem that i wrote. about what you feel
i wish to share this to you and let me know what you think

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/261973

u r so sweet for take ur time and make that poem ...thank u so much ..

You only have one mother.Hope ya stay safe.Thats what momma is thinking about.Your driving two people crazy.Sit and talk with her.Good luck

driving me crazy if i was living with my mom or living in one of her rentals. there would be no way.. she has a tenant that is so freaken nosey as it is that many of my moms tenant have moved because of her.. a friend of my sister is wanting to move and he would love to live in my mom rental but not with that tenant..

I wish I could say your experience is not normal for families that immigrate to the USA but it is. Sadly many families go through terrible upset and often crumble under the strain. It would be wonderful if at least your Mom would have been there for you through this bad time. You have my sympathy for that.

Because you are asking why I would pretty much guess that you have adjusted better and have more skills than Mom does. She may agree that your step father is bad but she probably feels pretty helpless and she is concerned about hers and your survival. He might let you leave but it is unlikely that he would let her leave. He doesn't sound like a great guy if you are willing to run away from home to get away from him.

If she is calling names she may or may not be over reacting to your behavior. It is clear she is overwhelmed by it. You know what you have and haven't done and you might want to explain if her fears are unfounded. And apologize if you have gone against her values and caused her to feel shame, fear, or hurt even if it was not intended. True you have the right to follow your own values as and adult but you are her daughter and what you do reflects on her. Any thing you do that she feels hurts you hurts her. Humans don't always act nice when someone hurts them. Mother's are human. Since; by your own admission, you ran away I don't know if I would exactly call it bothering you having her come to you to find out if infact you are alive and thriving.

Chances are she also had to fend for herself at your same young age so she doesn't really get that she is asking a great deal. You don't state her education, age, or condition but odds are good neither are good in a world that is not kind to women much past their 20's.

That you say that you are tired, overwhelmed, and really can't handle it seems reasonable. Because you are suppose to be 18 to be on this site and I don't know where you located I can only make general referrals.

If you are a runaway and a minor there are different resources than if you are an immancipated minor ( living away from your parents supporting yourself with the permission of the courts), or as an adult which varies from state to state; most are 18.

I would suggest you contact United Way First Call For help which is Nationwide and ask them to help you find some serious help. There services are free. If you have immigration status problems they can refer you to a legitimate source to expalin your options.

Most large communities have an Asian Alliance to help people with culturally appropriate resources and can be a really good place to find positive role models for friendship and advice. They might also have resources to help your Mother which will ultimately help you also.

That you are wise enough to relize that your education is essential is encourageing. Going to your home room teacher and school counselor would be and excellent place to turn for help.

If you are feeling as depressed as you sound I would go to my county mental health and asked to be assessed as and emergency intake and then be assigned a counselor. This gives you a safe confidential person to talk to and help you cope. Develope a plan to get your life in control. They also have extensive resources they can refer you to for various needs.

I would contact a local community college and get in a Displaced Homemaker Program. That is a tecnical name for a program that will give you a comprehensive assessment and create a plan for your higher education. It may mean dual enrollment in high school and college prep classes. They will also walk you through the finacial aid process.

I hope you will be exceedingly careful about your saftey and future. Since pregnacy or and STD, planned or otherwise, would be a serious situation I would plead with you to go to your county health department and see a doctor to put you on some kind of birth control.

Good Luck. Will Keep you in my prayes. Feel free to email as you need.

thanks but i already did .that was the first thing i did...i told my coach and then i talked to a social worker... after that the police went home talk to us ... they said that i couldnt stay with him alone .. thats when my mom said that he was the one who was supporting us.... well she said a lot of things.. then i run away ...my teachers knew it also the police... after that i continued high school .. im 19 years old... and i have permission from court to live on my own...

one of the hardest things for a kid growing up to learn is

mom and dad are just people. just as fukced up and neurotic and petty as everyone else

it's YOUR life to live no matter what she says or thinks

sounds alot like my life. i moved out at 15 and have been on my own since. i am now 35. i had my share of hard times, however i turned out just fine, and survived. I have chosen not to have my mother in my life. That has been the best thing for me. I have 3 children of my own, and have a great relationship with each of them. I believe i have to earn the love and respect of my children, sad but some parents don't feel the same way. Keep your head up, you are stronger than you know.

HOLDING MY HEAD UP IS THE BEST THING I CAN DO.. AND KEEP GOING.. THANKS FOR URS COMMENT I REALLY APPRICIATE AND I WILL TAKE THEM..

Caps off please...I am guessing there's more to the story. I too had a rocky road, I left when I was 16...it may have had more to do with my liberation than their forcing me out tho~. I had a place and went to HS and worked...that didn't last and I went into the military but I never looked back. I have been on my own since. Even today the thought of having to rely on anyone else for my keep greatly pains me.

She called you an alcoholic. It's up to you to be honest about how much and how often you drink, starting to drink alcohol when you're young greatly increases your chances of becoming an alcohol addict. And you're also 19 and it's an illegal drug for you...

Good luck with it all, it's great to leave the door open...but just give it time.

The truth about alcohol:

alcoholthenarcotic.org

I have a daily struggle with my mother. The only thing I can do not to lose it is stay away from her. It's sad and it sucks but on the worst of days me getting out is a lot better than what happens with her. You're out and trying to make your way and I remember how hard that was for me. You need friends who will be there for you and to be as objective as possible with whatever she says. Sure she may not agree with you or your lifestyle but she probably thinks she knows what you need in life and can't see your way as it.

I'm sorry though about the name calling. There's nothing worse than being called a whore by your own mother.

thats why its hard for me cuz im not alcoholic and prostitute when i left home i was cleaning toilets is that prostitution i dont think so... i dont drink to be honest .... but thats what she thinks cuz and doing all by mysefl something that she never would do by herself...anyways she always gonna be in my heart..

This is something you need to understand.

If you are standing in the correct place. No matter how many or who says you are in the wrong place. You are still in the right place.

You must know that other people are crazy. They form their lives on thier own thoughts, which are about themselves only! They will change all truth to lies to have things their way and declare them truth.

We have been told of better things and ways, but those days are past in most cases.

They have a problem.

You are the only one you can depend on and trust.....without them proving their nature. Your mother has proved hers and you are not in the wrong.

Make your life! Fight for a living and find better ways, reclaiming them for your coming family. (children and husband) But be careful, most people are the same as she....living for self only. Learn to know people and see their true nature before commitment to loving them. Go to the library, read about self esteem, goal setting, pychology of selling....etc......it will teach you much of people and the true driving forces inside them.

Read Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz......it will open doors to sound direction. It is only a book on how your mind works....like an owners manual.....nothing weird. Read the Bible for lessons in life. If you are lead to God. Be careful most of those out there are man's churches and teach a different Gospel and a different God and Christ....thinking they are correct.

Make goals!!! Learn about goal setting! A boat can not get you there if it has no idea where you want to go and has the oar to make it move.

Forget all that people call you or accuse you of.......if you are standing in the right place!

You can have anything in life by what you put into your mind. (HUG! and good life!)