Is your last name "Soprano" by any chance?

...


... ... Super ccrrrreeeepppyyy! WOAH! ...

One post is soooooooooo far past dark, someone better open a window, just for clean air!

... Reminds me of that song 'Mamma Told Me Not To Come' ...

I see 'Letting Go' as a quiet, gentle, plus spiritual help, kind of a meditation really...

First you need to FULLY process the issue, get the 'lesson' to move on (otherwise it will only repeat) ...

... Thereon, afterwards, when you find yourself stewin' over it at all?

You quietly notice you are in a haunted hallway of your inner museum, and gently toddle out by changing your focus thought. Easy does it ...

You just keep repeating the process and see the 'thought' appearing less and less, until the habit becomes SO broken that you are amused it ever 'had' you!

Im picturing my ex being eaten by my pet gator,Herbert, here on my property.


I just figured he'd slip on in and well, arseholebites anyone ???

you know I saw something on the news........oh wait, I don't watch the news...........sorry

... Still can't shake how purely E~Ville that one response was!

Seriously nightmarish ...

Was even a scene in the book and film "Gorky Park", I've never recovered from!

... What are people really like, anyway!?

I've heard the phrase (move on) and I don't like it. Letting go seems so much nicer. Move on, just seems so cold.

There was a lady on here who once said,,
the best way to get over a man,,,,was to get under another one,

I never forgot that as I thought it was really cute to have said.

and,,,,there is much truth to that,wink,lol

I wish I knew that 8 years ago

Can't say I agree

I've heard of that before....but IMO that is just a temporary thing. Sort of like drinking your troubles away....they don't go away. It's just masked for a short time

Nor I, that would be endless rebound!

I've NEVER jumped quickly to the next, not even as a teen, 20s, etc.

I'm always completely past it when I even entertain the mere thought of a new/next man and real love!

Has always kept it clean, and REAL! Real love only, for me at least!!!

Reciprocal for the man I seek, no rebounds TYVM!!!

... Wouldn't want another's sloppy seconds either, can't even close to stand the thought!

jack d works pretty good

Letting go of someone...
I have to speak from my newly mended heart on this one.
To jump into another relationship right away is like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. The hurt is only going to get infected and incarnate itself into your next relationship if you don't let it heal before hand.
Time...though that is a vicious cliche, it is a cliche for a reason.
Try focusing, not on the pain of severing, but rather on the lessons to be learned and, when the wound has healed enough, the great things that came from your temporary union that will add to the experienced, amazing person you are.
Support from friends and family is vital. Retain your individuality and don't let yourself lose your identity into the person you are separating from.
Letting go of something...
All I can say here is that "things" do not define you. Though an object of sentiment or even a house or business you've put so much work and memeories into may seem to be an extention of yourself, don't let yourself be fooled. At the end of the day, what's inside of you is what will always be there and it's what will make all the difference in the future.
And they all lived happily ever after...the end.

There is a very good reason I would not post my poems from a male's perspective ............. Most people assume you are either a gay or bisexual woman, not used to dual train of thought or devoid of imagination. or if you speak of a broken heart people assume that you are experiencing that emotion and you get a lot of 'awwwww' responses.

I digress, back to your question, the easiest way is to mentally wish the person good luck in their future journeys, holding on to negative thoughts about an ex or a bad situation hampers our own progress.I vent (to get it out of my system) and may even write my thoughts about the person or event in a letter then shred it ( a sort of physical burial) it has helped me. It is good to do emotional weeding sometimes.

Brilliant Bonny! (vent however you can)

I think it is the same with ALL "grief". Once a (not closest of) friend consoled me by saying..."Forgive the trite and shallow things they are saying. They love you and don't know WHAT to say. Some things just SUCK! This pain in YOURS so own it. Cry uncontrolably, joke inappropriately, wallow in self pity, numb yourself (for a while) if you must. You CAN DO NO WRONG. This moment is YOURS!

I gained a much respected "closer" friend.

He that hath found the handle, hath also found the blade.
Every nurse is merry.
He, that is intent upon going, will do no good before he departs.
The young will laugh at the mischances of the old.
An angel on the road and a devil by his fire-side.
Set on thy dog, but do not accompany him.
He, that has patience, will conquer.
He mows the meadow with shears.
Who will not endure a servant must be his own slave.
The sorrow, that continues, becomes itself a calamity.
The fence, of a bad farmer, is full of gaps.
He, that ascends slowly, will descend quickly.
Every one has his neighbor for a mirror.



Welsh proverbs

(an overused word that rarely has it's place) Awesome!

Happy New Year my friends! Nice to see you Bonny and Beach!

How do you let go of something or someone? what advice would you give someone?



Well that is truely two different questions and pretty wide in spectrum.

Getting over something generally is going to have to be thought through and assigned a value. Hopefully with the support of friends, family, and or professionals it will be porportional to the value of a persons over all survival and the power it really has over the victims future. They will grieve the event and try to recover. If a person has good coping skills it is much easier than the ones who don't.

Possesions can be replaced generally but major losses like homes, businesses, retirement funds the reality those kind of losses are life changeing and take major time to grieve.

Being a victim of a crime is complicated loss because it generally changes a person's sense of world balance. A person's survival response usually complicates the recovery and the victim gets a new violation from the resulting PTSD.

Loss of people in our lives is a different. Often have a cause and effect with all the related things that are also lost. You loose a home you loose neighbors, community, and often the people you use for the things you need. Loss of employment you generally loose friends as well as enemies. Often personal relationships collasp.

Most of us have some weening and expectation of the loss of parents. Loss of a child or spouse is however catestrophic.

While most of us try to play off divorce it is rarely a choice as a result of and unbearable situation that has grown in our lives like a chronic sore. The loss is long and multiple so the solution and greiving is going to be also. I have rarely seen anyone fully recover from divorce and most need a minimum of two years to return to any sembalence of normalcy. They used to call the divorced walking wounded and if those who are caring about someone would be kind to acknowledge that.

My advice for recovering for these various losses....

First find a trustworthy friend, seperate from the loss, to give you a safe place to vent. Considering confidentiality I lean to a professional. It is rarely appropriate or helpful to burden children or mutual friends and the advice to find a new friend is almost always going to be a bad idea because it opens you up to explotation. While venting on line is a venue generally I don't recommend it because all the explotation and fall out that once something hits the net is not really worth it. Can trash your career, cause terrible family issues, and definitely jaundice future relationships.

Second is to acknowledge that a loss is a loss and grieve it for what it is worth. Having a good cry, journaling, tearing up pictures or other momentoes, doing something symbolic like memorialiseing or having a emotional funeral can actually help. Avoiding distructive or vengeful things are usually good because they usually have more cost than comfort. Useing alcohol or drugs or other crutches like throwing yourself into work is almost always going to backfire and push your life even more out of balance.

Third trying to assess the damage is not a bad idea if you can keep it in porportion. Often you can discover you still have many of your own talents and put them into a future plan. This is why Displaced Homemakers programs are so helpful. Also why so many can recover from past financial problems because they get back on course.

Fourth it is important to try to be your own best friend. Feeding, resting, exerciseing, and improveing your over all health maintenace. Loss tends to point out where we have been slacking and can cause depression that is so unbearable that it has to be addressed and can contribute to a huge turn around in people's lives.

Fifth and rather rare for people to really carry through is bringing some preventive measures into the picture. What ever the loss is things or people correcting the things that make you vunerable. Developeing people skills, copeing skills, financial skills so you are not so dependent on others, building a wide base of friendships and family relationships, practiceing security measures. Bringing fun and peace in your life is essential. If your life is only negative it just drains you after a while. It is hard to see happiness and comfort in your life if you have little experience to draw a memory from.

Last is accepting that nobody's life can be bullet proof. Stuff happens and if you are going to live there is going to be loss just as much as the other factors of life. It isn't personal, nobody is picking on you, and you have survived whatever you are suffering currently, and will probably overcome things that will come along in the future. With age and experience most people generally manage better. As crass as it sounds nobody gets out of dying sooner or later and you can't take it with you so live in the present and the future will just be gravy.

VERY WELL SAID!