I read in a lot of profiles that women don't want to play games or are not looking for players. What is that all about exactely? It is as if a lot of women dated "players" before and don't want that anymore. Is a player someone who doesn't take a relationship seriously or is there more to it? What makes a man a player?

And why is it such a big deal?

Playa = Kool Aid Man. That is all!

Men and women appear to think of this differently. I always thought of a player as a person that was good at playing the game. Or attracting lovers. Women, on the other hand say it's a man that lies and says he's bing exclusive when he's not. I'd call a man like that a liar, not a player.

Not sure why people put that. I well understand the frusteration of running into the members of the From Prince/ess Association but it almost seems like advertiseing you are and easy victim. Kind of setting yourself up to be played.

From urbandictionary.com:

1. player

A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.

I stand corrected.

You were right about those kind of men being liars, though.

Well some ppl like to play head games,and play with your heart.They pretend to love u when all they really want is sex.In the meantime they are seeing other ppl and telling them the same thing.

Hmmmmmm. Nobody told me we were having a test in this thread.

I don't know either, but I threw away my Scrabble board, just to be safe.

Should have looked that one up first
But still, I think that reality is not always that black or white. Especially in the beginning of a relationship one is finding out about their feelings. For example, if I decide to end a relationship after a few months because I feel that this is not real love, Am I a player? I may just have made a very wise decision.

TsxSun says I'm a player.

no,unless u are seeing others at the same time and telling them all that u love them.

Playing someone involves deception, if you're upfront, there is no deception. Telling someone you care about them when you don't is deception, saying you love them when you don't is deception, leading them to believe you want to be with them exclusively and possibly marry them when all you want is a piece of azz and then you're gone, that's deception. Do you follow? If there is truth from day one, no one is being played. Learn about the other person first before you make any promises and then, if you have to end it, no one was lied to so there really shouldn't be any hard feelings.

sounds like they have played the game of LIFE to long

No, ending a relationship after enough time has passed that you are making the correct decision is not being a player. We have to date and get to know each other...that is what dating is for, wouldn't life be ever so much easier if we only ever dated the 'right' person? You would be a player if while dating (and presumably being intimate) with someone who had every reason to believe you were not seeing (and being intimate with ) anyone else BUT YOU WERE. Players are people who tell you what you want to hear as a way to get what they want.


Hope all of these replies answer your second question!

You are not a player if you have not made an agreement with a woman upfront to be exclusive and you are still seeing other people. However, most men should understand that if you have sex with a woman, generally, they will understand that to mean that you are exclusive. So, if it doesn't mean that to you, just be nice and say so.

This is right up there with "my kids are my world" well... duh

Well, that's just to differentiate herself from the woman who is willing to abandon hers for Mr. Right But Doesn't Like Kids.

i find that when you specifically list what you don't want to contact you, those are the very things you do attract.

i'd opt for just not saying anything about players and weed them out myself.