Not sure where but you did explain it quite rationally in my opinion.

If a person doesn't want to date someone who is separated and or legally separated don't. See problem solved.

If a person thinks a person should be divorced before dating them, great, dont date someone who is not legally divorced. Again problem solved.

That one is tricky because you dont know the truth about his arrangement. As I said, because my parents worked so hard together for so many years to acquire their home, they both agreed to continue living there even though the relationship ended.

however, this would be very difficult to know for sure and I would say you do the right thing by staying away from that until or unless the person can show they have truly moved on(living by themself).

Yay, all the married people dating and then will cry foul when another married person approaches them.

Why get a divorce first because you say so??

I said I was separated for over 8 years and this affects you how??? I'd not offer you any KoolAid, might have offered you a cold beer but not partial to KoolAid, so drink it if you like or dont if you'd rather not.

You are free to believe what you'd like to believe, just as I am.

You control yourself, your actions and your beliefs just as the rest of us control ourselves.

Agree, disagree, either way I had a blast while "separated for 8 years", am having a blast now legally "divorce", but had I met you earlier, I'd have gotten a divorce much sooner or maybe not

so it seems from reading the thread that the issue is being LEGALLY divorced????

you can be married or divorced in your mind and heart...just not necessarily by the governments standards


so it's more about a legal issue??

for me it's all about the heart

not sure if it's about a legal issue anymore, but I am being told I am guilty of spin control, I've been guilty of a lot of things but spin control, heck I can't even ride a bike

that seems (to me at least) that it's only about a piece of paper

I see many say that marriage is between 2 people and not the government so shouldn't the same be for divorce?

Well, like I said, some will call it hypocritical. I am legally apart from my ex. The only reason I got upset over the thing was because there was no process to become seperated on his end. I did not date for a long time after my separation. I'm not one for rebounding. That's why my profile says I am happy with making friends.

Why bother getting divorced at all if it didn't matter and you were fine with the way things were? You continue to validate what I said about spin control. Cop outs are only good if you get someone to actually believe it.

The only benefit I saw in divorce when I Was younger, was in the money it made someone else and in the 'freedom' it afforded me to marry again. Since remarriage was not on my mind AT ALL and I didnt have money to blow,, I chose not to go through the legal system.

Now that I am older, I do not plan to spend a large portion of the remainder of my life alone, so remarriage is a definite and desirable possibility for me. Because of that , divorcing has become a priority before beginning any relationship.

Because I knew deep down getting a divorce would make you happy I did it for you!!!!

The only person I need validation from is the valet at the mall, that way I get free parking

I am a secure and confident woman Xeno, I live my life to make me happy not the masses, my reasons are just that my reasons. Not meant to make sense to anyone other than myself. I am not here seeking acceptance, if it bothers you, turn away, if it goes against your beliefs, turn away. Control your own actions as you nor anyone else will control mine

But kudos to you for speaking your mind as well and sharing your opinion