My friend is 27 and her husband is 43. She is very upset because she is not getting enough sex from him. They have been together for about 6 years. Prior to marraige they did not have sex. Once married he was only interested in sex a couple times a week. Now its down to a couple times a month.

She feels she cannot talk to him about this. He is Hispanic and this is not something he would be willing to discuss. So, please post your advice here and I will give it to her.

Some things should have been thought out before engaging in a relationship, just a thought. Honestly though, there isn't much she can do if he isn't willing to talk about it.

Maybe he's just not that attracted to her. It happened to me once with somebody before. If the sex isn't satsfying...why bother except for maintenance purposes. She could try certain things to spice up their sex life if she was willing.

get professional help you must be able to discuss issues with your partner

If your friend is unable to talk to her hubby about such a intimate subject then that is sad because 2 people should be able to share there hopes fears and concerns and work out there issues together and not be given advice by strangers who do not know this couples background or issues they may have. Anna x

Wow, how sad for both of them.

He isn't willing to talk about it? Maybe he has health issues but hasn't shared them with her? He is embarrassed in general?

They should seek counseling and learn to communicate first and then address the intimacy issues. He should seek medical advice too. If he is diabetic or overweight that will affect his libido. Unfortunately, the meds can make the condition worse too.

Marrying someone before knowing all about them (sex, communication, problem solving, and finances, etc) is such a risk.

I hope they work things out.

They are married and she cant talk about it because he wont let her, because he is hispanic? Can you say controlling? Can you say no communication?

She needs to put all cards on the table. Tell him of what she is feeling. Even if he doesnt want to hear it or talk about it. Thats life. Because if he is having problems, E.D. there is meds out there to help. I dont know if there is a drinking problem, but that could contribute to E.D. problems.

All the guys out there in the world that complain that women dont want it and here is your friend with a fella that wont give it to her because of what ever reason is just wrong. And any fella that says that he doesnt find her attractive after marring her is just a looser and a player.

Regardless of anything said here, there is nothing...absolutely nothing that can be done if he is not willing to talk about it. Counseling, then sex, counseling doesn't work...the marriage won't work. There is no use in giving advice on this situation as there is simply nothing that can be done about it.

Yeah, sadly, I think you're right.

Communication is a bigger issue than the sex at this point.

God's honest truth. ^

She has tried. I think the problem here is that he has always had a low sex drive but she didn't know until after they were married because they weren't having sex.

My guess is that there is a medical reason for it.

That was my advice to her. That or get used to a sexless marriage.

Ah...well unfortunately, if he won't discuss it they may be doomed. I hope things work out for em' though.

Me too. But I don't think they'll make it.

She's 27 huh, give her my number

Didn't mean for that to sound like it's her fault. It's a two way street. Counseling might be very beneficial for them both.

unfortunately I think she's getting to the point where she's considering that. That's why I'm worried.

Couple times a month? Wow, that's more than I got from the Ice Queen. The final year, it was like once every 3 or 4 months. Menopause must turn them frosty or something.

Agreed, if he is not "willing" to discuss even sexual intimacy issues with his wife...they certainly have bigger fish to fry in their relationship.

I do wish your friend tons of luck.

I guess he didn't get the memo on "latin lovers'??

You know, some from the "old country" (could be any country really), don't like to talk about sex ESPECIALLY to/with women. It is very mechanical and missionary on their part and the woman is just a cum receptacle. Their wives are are the mother of their children and not whores. There was actually an episode of the Sopranos, and they saw it as a weakness if the man pleased a woman orally.

Like someone else said, if he is not willing to discuss it, you're friend is either going to accept it that way it is, or move on. You're friend is too young to be in a sexless marriage.