It is very common for hispanic men to have one or more lovers outside of thier marriage. She may want to find out if he has "lovers". He works alot....hmmm or is he playing around alot?? Just a possibility.

There could be so many different things going on here that it would be hard to give advice.

Because of his culture, he may have been taught that women do not "want" sex unless they are "bad" women. Making it a delicate issue.

He may have a sexual fetish of some kind and is not going to let her know about it. So without the fetish stimulation he is not sexually aroused.

He could be a man with a low sex drive.

He could be unhealthy and needs to see a doc. Blood pressure and all kinds of health issues effect sex drive and performance.

Etc....

The list is long.


If only it were so simple.

Does she have a B.O.B.? Would that be an option for her?

Bob is a "battery operated boyfriend"

She needs to get him to talk about the issue. If he won't talk about it, then the marriage is destine to fail. He needs to decide what's more important, no talk or no wife.

i like your way of thinking ..heaven help robin..

tell her she is one lucky gal! my husband was 34<when i divorced him> together about 5 yrs.. and i only got it the day after i griped about it every 4 months.. so trust me 2 times a week would of been a goldmine for me! oh and i was 38 it was fine and dandy till the last 2 yrs.. that is when i realized i was always the aggresser.. and i told him i needed to feel wanted as well. that he needed to make a play too.. well the last 2 yrs that never happened till i griped after 4 months! ok sometimes it was 3 months that was way more than anyone can tollerate!

I know. That's why I kind of chuckle and say "you poor thing," when they whine about not getting any for 2 weeks. 2 weeks! Some people like us have gone months and years! Sure it may not be what the young vixen is used to, but she should try to put things into perspective. Now if it's really a huge problem for her, perhaps she should take Dr. Ruth's and Sue Johannsen's(from Talk Sex) advice and talk to her man about it. Key word here is "talk." As in not yelling, complaining, or griping. Sexual openess in communication can go a long way.

Just because one's situation is not as bad as it could be doesn't mean one can't be dissatisfied with it. Things can ALWAYS be worse. Doesn't mean we have to accept the situation as is.

Send her over my way....I know just what she needs...

This is an intimate issue between a husband and a wife and not all their friends to know about. I would also say the number one issue here is not his lack of sex drive but THEIR lack of communication and safety to comminucate(sexual needs, sexual health, and probably a lot of other issues are not being discussed openly).

this is true... what i was saying that she was luck because compared to me she was... and i was letting u know as well that saying something for 2 yrs straight did not work for me... and for me i even told him the reasoning... i need to feel wanted and desired too.. im telling u that me stopping being the aggresser everytime to give him a chance to be the aggresser did not work till i blew then he aggressed always the very next day.. and only once till the next 3 to 4 monthss when i blew again.. i could not handle it, also i know he wasnt cheating on me he was home all the time.. i know we all do things or say things we shouldnt but after i had had the same conversation with him 3 times.. and nothing changed i did say to him .. i have told you over and over how important it is to me to feel desired and wanted and loved.. you never show me that even after discussing it with you several times, there is not a thing wrong with you in that area you can still get it up no problem. and i know there is nothing wrong with me in that area, it is making me wonder if you have a new preference on the sex of the partner you want to be with.. im sorry i love you but i need feel loved and desired too, if you cant give that to me im sure someone else would be willing too..... hence i put up with for another yr and half and divorced him..then found out that there wasnt a thing wrong with me... no i did not cheat on him.. i waited till i got divorced.. funny thing is after the divorce.. he told everyone i was controlling.. sure i made plans for vacations for his and my kids to go camping or where ever because if i did not they would of sat in the house while he hid in the bedroom till time for dinner.while i took care of all 5 kids my 3 and his 2..i sure wasnt being controlling in the bedroom anymore! then my cousin sees him at some bar he had totally changed wearing army boots, shaved his head, got a bunch of tattoos from earning credit from being married to me got 6,000 in creditcard loans, gave my phone number and address to get them.. never paid them.. and he spent that 6,000 in 2 months! he also wore a dog collar.. has something to do with being submissive? the bar he was in there were lots of stuff like that my cousin said<he was delivering pop there>

my whole point is usually talking to someone about that doesnt help, however she should make a few attempts to do so.. if things dont change and she is discussing this with you she is obviously not happy. perhaps he isnt either.. maybe its time to let go after putting out an effort, but i beleive rather he wants to talk about sex or not is not the issue for she should be important as well. its not all about him! its about them!

If it's a toothache you see a dentist, if your body is ill or broken you see a medical doctor. So why do so many people not know what to do for emotional problems, marital problems, etc. If this young wife cannot communicate with her husband and if she still loves him, please encourage her to talk to her husbands doctor. If there is no medical explanation, encourage her to see a marriage counselor. She can go alone and be advised on how to deal with communication skills in their relationship.

agreed she does need to communicate at least try.. and it should not of been discussed between friends until at least they tried to communicte it between each other first.. but it is a little too late for that.. also i dont think communication has anything at all to do with ones race..

and might i add this too.. we had gone to marriage counseling already... it worked for some time.. this was before the sex issues.. then again i asked him during the last 2 yrs to go because of the sex issues<mind u they werent all sex issues, he was withdrawn> and he chose not to partake.. like i said i found out he wasnt being the person he wanted to be .. he showed that after the divorce...

She needs to tell him that they need to talk it out and try to figure out what they need to do to improve there marriage all around.I think there is more going on then the sex problem.And if he is cheating on here she needs to know that too,and go on from there.She also needs to decide what is the best thing for her.
Good luck to your friend.

bottom line here is.. she is discussing her sex life with you and not with him... and she has you all tied up in her drama, instead of her dealing with it herself, she probabally knows all the answers of the questions she asks of you.. i beleive she may be looking for assurance from you for whatever she is about to do is ok... i saw that u said somehere on here that she is thinking of going somewhere else to get some sex.. well to me if she is unhappy she should not make the situation worse.. perhaps it is time to leave already with out discussing it with her partner.. discussion maybe a waste of time for she already had other ideas in her head before even discussing it with her husband. she has what appears to not only dicussed it but into full detail.. and to me that is betrayal of your partner.. remember this he is still her partner..

Tell her to email the best relationship adviser I know, Jerry Springer.
He'll get th low down on the dude that don't get it up.
jerry.fan@nbcuni.com

good points all..there has to be that passionate response to her advances or it's like living with a room mate.and compounding the problem by going someplace else for sex is not the way of fixing her situation..it might seem so in the short term but she's already married and that's not going to help matters..don't let her keep you sucked into her drama..she's looking to your for validation to things she is thinking of doing .step back and let her fix it ..giving ideas is fine but she must make the final decision..