I found this in the archives of my Livejournal, so I figured I'd post it here, I can't even remember who I was into when I wrote it, but most emotions are timeless, so here it is:

Disarm

I wish I had someone I could really talk to.
You know, about the really important things?
Like how I used to feel and how I ought to feel,
and why they can't force me to think.
I wish I could change myself into what I want to be,
but it's too effing hard
and I've been this way too effing long
for it make a difference.

I wish I could get inside your head and see
what's really there- behind your shy smiles and
your wayward eyes and those things you say
sometimes to make me weak.
I wish you had known me back when I was still really
me, and not this shell of a former person.
This model of restraint and breeding.
This 60/40 deal.

If you had known me when
everyone else really knew me, I wonder if
you'd feel the same? Would I still excite you
and cause your breath to catch?
Would you still reach across the table just to
brush my hair away?

Would we love the long, warm silences
where our hearts whisper on and on?
Or you would you turn your back
and drop my hand back
into the
blackness
that I'm always trying to
flee....

10/21/08

Said so well,
the feelings, I feel,
thank you

beautiful...
and I think it is timeless.

very nice

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your comments.

Really easy to follow, you used capitalization perfectly. The shorthand 'effing' caught me off-guard, but that could just be a personal quirk as I don't tend to shorthand cursewords or replace them with something more suitable. The last line of the first stanza is missing a 'to' I think.

Nice write overall, interested in seeing more from you Calleigh.

Thanks, Fear. I edited the curse words 'cause I hate the asterisks mingle puts on them.

Awesome write!
I loved how honest it is... and the title works really well with it.
It has this sense of someone exposing their vulnerabilities... but then there's the questioning of the other person... leaving me to wonder if you want to disarm yourself or that other person.
So, really interesting, and very much enjoyed.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

Yeah, I'm not really sure who I wanted to disarm either, probably them, though.

I wish I too could have answered these questions....about myself.....a long long time ago....maybe my life wouldn't have been so dysfunctional.......an awesome self reflective write, much enjoyed.

Thank you very much. Life seems to be about self-discovery.

in a nutshell...yep

know thyself

A very soft touch of the making of us all,,thank you...