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| Topic: What to do?????? | |
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I think it's a combination of sex and the fact the the holidays are here and he misses being loved. Men do have a softer side they just don't admit to it. Best suggestion is to just ask him what he wants.
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Some of you may remember I posted about this relationship I had with this one man....It didn't go so well...I wanted more than he could give and frankly I think I was in love with a booty call. I ended up telling this booty call that I had feelings for him....well some time passed I stopped all contact with him and now hes calling me again. My question is...his knowing how I feel about him...is he just calling for sex or does he want more? I know I know I should just ask him...but I wanted your opinions first. I just wondered if men can be so cold as to do such a thing? I posed a similar question in reverse yesterday. It's nice to get some justification that this happens! As being the so call jerk i can tell you how I felt. I want to have feelings and fall in love, but love escapes me! I see it as a real dilema because women will often offer sex before love and i have a hard time saying no to the sex and an even harder time falling in love! So when the woman falls in love with me I end up being the bad guy and it trully makes me feel bad. I mean it takes time to devolop feelings such as love right? Yet sex always seems to come before love so what do you do? Do you refuse the sex? Will I someday love them? I think the answers people have given you are simplified to the point of dishonesty! Simply put I don't think two people can get into a relationship without risking someone lacking true love and hurt feelings coming from it. So the question i would ask is what are his intentions and barring love itself "because it can't be manufactured" could he see you long term? |
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...i say if it's not broke don't fix it..the bad thing about a booty call is you don't know where it's been... 
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Well seeing that I do not have my picture up yet (new member), I think I can break man law and let you in on the little secret that men do not want women to know. We do have a soft side, and we do want to feel needed just like woman do, however the way we feel needed/wanted tends to be more physical in nature. So if you think that he is just "booty callin" its up to you to decide if that is all you want or if you want more. Believe it or not, you are in the drivers seat on this one. Good luck!
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? |
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... |
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Well seeing that I do not have my picture up yet (new member), I think I can break man law and let you in on the little secret that men do not want women to know. We do have a soft side, and we do want to feel needed just like woman do, however the way we feel needed/wanted tends to be more physical in nature. So if you think that he is just "booty callin" its up to you to decide if that is all you want or if you want more. Believe it or not, you are in the drivers seat on this one. Good luck! I hear your words and they give me hope. But how am I in the frivers seat? How do I get what I need and have him happy too? |
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Some of you may remember I posted about this relationship I had with this one man....It didn't go so well...I wanted more than he could give and frankly I think I was in love with a booty call. I ended up telling this booty call that I had feelings for him....well some time passed I stopped all contact with him and now hes calling me again. My question is...his knowing how I feel about him...is he just calling for sex or does he want more? I know I know I should just ask him...but I wanted your opinions first. I just wondered if men can be so cold as to do such a thing? I posed a similar question in reverse yesterday. It's nice to get some justification that this happens! As being the so call jerk i can tell you how I felt. I want to have feelings and fall in love, but love escapes me! I see it as a real dilema because women will often offer sex before love and i have a hard time saying no to the sex and an even harder time falling in love! So when the woman falls in love with me I end up being the bad guy and it trully makes me feel bad. I mean it takes time to devolop feelings such as love right? Yet sex always seems to come before love so what do you do? Do you refuse the sex? Will I someday love them? I think the answers people have given you are simplified to the point of dishonesty! Simply put I don't think two people can get into a relationship without risking someone lacking true love and hurt feelings coming from it. So the question i would ask is what are his intentions and barring love itself "because it can't be manufactured" could he see you long term? I agree with you...I never intended to fall in love...or did I? Guess it just happened. In reverse would I care? All I know is I wouldn't want to hurt anyone intentionally. |
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... You just said he wasn't giving you what you needed. So are you just looking for an ego boost? Something to tell you you weren't wasting the time you spent with him? Something to tell you it wasn't your fault? What? |
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... You just said he wasn't giving you what you needed. So are you just looking for an ego boost? Something to tell you you weren't wasting the time you spent with him? Something to tell you it wasn't your fault? What? No I thought maybe just maybe he changed his mind...maybe he missed me...sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone... |
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I will tell you all what I want...I want the movie ending...I want the guy to get the girl at the end of the story....I want them to live happily ever after! Thats what I want! I want him to know how much and how long I have loved him...and I want him to love me back too! I want him to know that no one elsc will do...I might be pitiful...but it is what it is...time is the only thing that will make it better...I even let him go...I want him to be happy too!
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Some of you may remember I posted about this relationship I had with this one man....It didn't go so well...I wanted more than he could give and frankly I think I was in love with a booty call. I ended up telling this booty call that I had feelings for him....well some time passed I stopped all contact with him and now hes calling me again. My question is...his knowing how I feel about him...is he just calling for sex or does he want more? I know I know I should just ask him...but I wanted your opinions first. I just wondered if men can be so cold as to do such a thing? He's missing his booty call. I would just be done with him. It sounds like you want more out of the relationship than he does. 
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... You just said he wasn't giving you what you needed. So are you just looking for an ego boost? Something to tell you you weren't wasting the time you spent with him? Something to tell you it wasn't your fault? What? No I thought maybe just maybe he changed his mind...maybe he missed me...sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone... You said he wasn't giving you what you needed and you want him to change his mind? |
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... You just said he wasn't giving you what you needed. So are you just looking for an ego boost? Something to tell you you weren't wasting the time you spent with him? Something to tell you it wasn't your fault? What? No I thought maybe just maybe he changed his mind...maybe he missed me...sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone... You said he wasn't giving you what you needed and you want him to change his mind? [/quote I thought maybe while we were apart...he woulde realize what he gave up and thus want want what I want. |
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In my opinion, its time for you to get a little selfish. Why can't or don't you deserve everything that you want him to have? Life is so short and so precious, and there are so many people out there that can give you what you want. Is it the desire to make him want you that drives you to want him? There are just so many good people out there, I wouldn't waste my time on a multi-one night stand.
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She very meekly asks...Is there any chance at all that he could have missed me? You "wanted more than he could give". So what makes you think he is going to give you what you want now? Or are you just looking for a companion for the holidays? I just want him to have missed me....My heart gets huge when it comes to him. I have said in the past that I thought I have felt him...I just want to know if its true.... You just said he wasn't giving you what you needed. So are you just looking for an ego boost? Something to tell you you weren't wasting the time you spent with him? Something to tell you it wasn't your fault? What? No I thought maybe just maybe he changed his mind...maybe he missed me...sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone... You said he wasn't giving you what you needed and you want him to change his mind? [/quote I thought maybe while we were apart...he woulde realize what he gave up and thus want want what I want. He wasn't giving you what you needed but he is the one who gave up on you? And now you want him to want what you want???? |
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The answer depends one only one factor...how much self-respect do you have?
Good luck to you. |
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Edited by
ronny4dating
on
Fri 12/04/09 08:01 PM
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You know what love is complicated, spontaneous, and so many other things!!!!!!!! I don't think just cause the guy is contacting you again he only wants sex!! Some women have this veiw of men and it may be true about some but not all! I have had sex with women i was not in love with and enjoyed many things about them, not just the sex! So it really depends on how he treats you if you ask me! Besides is sex a gift only women bestow upon men or is a mutual enjoyment that two people share? You know the man bashing is pretty pathetic in here sometimes.....The funny thing is the guys join in as well!
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You know what love is complicated, spontaneous, and so many other things!!!!!!!! I don't think just cause the guy is contacting you again he only wants sex!! Some women have this veiw of men and it may be true about some but not all! I have had sex with women i was not in love with and enjoyed many things about them, not just the sex! So it really depends on how he treats you if you ask me! Besides is sex a gift only women bestow upon men or is a mutual enjoyment that two people share? LOL...How come you seem to be the only one one who understands? I can only hope the masses are wrong. |
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How much do you want to be hurt?
I could be very wrong, but I've got 10 bucks he ain't coming back because he decided he loves you too. |
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