Question for women and men too, but definitely women, in your opionion does it seem like a lot of men have exaggeratedly high ego's? In my opinion most men say they are dynamite in bed, or they are very experienced, or they can do just about anything really well in relation to life. I myself feel I can do quite a bit, and know quite a bit, but I strive to learn every day and I always realize that I am capable of not doing something completly right, or wrong. I try too to also ask any partners I might have if their experience was okay, hard feelings aside, I love positive and negative critism when it comes down to things, even sex, and I do not take any negative critism with more than a grain of salt, I just try to improve the next time from what I have learned. What do you think, do you want your woman or man to tell you how you can improve, or your partner, or do you get offended by it?

I find it difficult to give contructive criticism to a man in that area because it seems they are so sensitive about it. Unfortunately, it was a man who showed ME what felt good to me so I probably have an unrealistic standard for the man to pay enough attention to figure out what works and what doesnt.

Actually, imo, no. i think SOME men have false egos outwardly, and a smaller amount have large unfounded egos. Altho i dont think this question just applies to men, women can also have large egos.



2 people can grow together through communication, and communication is nothing to be offended by.

I think criticism like that is difficult for both parties. It is easier if you are comfortable and have been with each other for awhile. Sometimes, guiding or saying what you like will get you a lot farther than saying "why don't you". Do your instructing while the lesson is taking place. It's much easier to correct than after class is over.

I am glad that I am a little monkey

The whole ego thing is generally a false portrayal of the nature of somebody. That can be based on various things... Sometimes, the bigger the ego, the more sensative that person will be. Being confident is a different thing all together.

About the whole "doin it right thing", There is no such thing as doing it right. There is such a thing as getting it wrong. When two people engage in their intimate moment it is about two people doing something together as one, not two people trying "to do it right". People like different things and in different ways. Any guy who says he is "dynamite in bed" is probably full of shite. Women would generally know that too... I guess..?

A good lover is not a selfish lover, but an un-selfish lover doesn't necessarily make a good lover... Make any sense? If you really want to learn something, try observing what is front of you at the time (the woman) and you will find out more without asking what you are "doing right" and what you are doing wrong. Every woman is generally different... in just about most ways... ;-)

I agree; I know I don't take criticism very well.

In fact I think a mans ego's may be even more easily wounded than most women's... For example most men will call it quits if a girl cheats on them, because it injures his ego beyond repair. Not only can we not stand the thought of someone else having what we have, we imagine that the other guy must have been more well hung... even talk of past sexual escapades can leave us feeling uneasy.

I've found times when even the talk of her past relationships has got my blood boiling. I know that's ridiculous, and it's Ego, but it's hard to control emotions.

Women on the other hand, may feel some jealousy, but they seem to be more capable of forgiveness than their male counterparts. They seem more impressed with a mans sexual proles, than jealous, and I think this has more to do with a mans competitive nature, than some old way of thinking... he may have learned growing up with.

Criticism is one thing, and ego is another, and much of this comes down to good communication, and tact. If you're unhappy about something, there's a way to communicate that without hurting the other person. Unfortunately this is like trying to speak a foreign language to most of us, but there are some great books on communication out there... still it takes a lot of practice to communicate our disappointments without hurting the other persons feelings.

And one of the worse ego killers is when someone is criticized publicly, in front of friends, or family. Can anyone say they don't feel bad for the man who's called a wimp by his wife, in front of a room full of strangers? lol

Since most men are insecure in the bedroom lol let's use that as an example: Let's say your man doesn't know the first thing about oral sex, but that's something you desire. Is it better to tell him he's "not doing it right" in the heat of frustration, or better to wait until later, and explain how it would make you feel if he allowed you to teach him how to give you great oral?

There's an old saying that comes to mind, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar"

Exactly. You'll do much better with saying "why don't you try it this way..." or telling them something you enjoy that you'd like them to do, rather than criticizing.

You know the problem with this is a lot of times they can't change it! So i think thats why people wont say anything! If it's something that can be remedied i will say something, if not forget it i just lie! But you know once you have had awesome sex, it's cery difficult to settle! My biggest issue is with lips! If she has no lips to kiss with it just kills it for me!

Regarding sexual criticism. Truly a powder keg of mistunderstandings and hurt egos. Very dangerous ground to tread on if you want to take on this challenge. For most, it is a satisfying and intimate moment between two people, and criticizing may jeopardize the intimacy and performance of the parties involved. If they wanted to criticize anyway, I would hope they would talk about it at another time, when both parties are not in the bedroom. This can be a very fragile and sensitive area for some.

You date lipless women?

I can't improve anymore than I already have. I'm perfect, deal with it.

All men have big egos, except me, because I'm so much above everyone else.

See, he has it figured out. Kind of funny watching everyone from way up here.

Right.

Also, I learned not to ask for a rating on my performance when there is no friction I can generate, due to the calbre of people that we were at a given instance.

lol...the ego...fe or male...

the only freedom from all that pains in life, is for one to kill their own ego themself, seeing it seperates oneself from all happiness, and is the very essence of what create all human emotional pain...

"it", the ego, closes off the brain from hearing "feedback" as accurate,making one live thru emotion alone, instead of by what it know's is BETTER, even in cases denying outside words until one has walked off the cliff of ego manic gone awry, and destroyed itself, even killing a few 4 cops sitting in a coffee shop along the way...

of course, such extremes are only ABLE to be created, when one does not see it's own ego ITSELF must kill, and destroy, by falling on it's own sword, by it's own self accord, and not allowing and falling prey to the notion of the many voices from the outside, that LOVE THEIR EGO, so all too redily are willing to coddle and playcate another, BUT WHAT THEY DEMAND BACK FOR THEMSELF, and the only reason they agree to, and as such then only seek out words that make oneself "feel good", falling into a false sense that it's ego should be "protected"...

to protect the ego is to soon live in a constant feeling of "no one loves me", all people are mean, and to fill the soul with wishes and whims of vengence against anything that say's what might, could, or is true...

ego secures it's own protection, it's own security, it's own good things, it's own good feeling's, soon this making itself blind to how itself is hurting many other's along the way, and then wonder's why no one likes it, lol...

too bad the cards are stacked against anything seeing or learning anything different, since all "outside environment" is using such tactic's more and more each day, witnessed more and more in the media, as grown up's, so called adults, do nothing but respond to outside criticsm with "accusation's and attacks" in return, only using a "denial or rebuttal" logic for every word heard, and soon, each thing heard seems, or "feels" like a possible accusation, and is responded to as such...

where can such lead but to a total breakdown of all logic, as the logic is formed in the brain by what the brain or person "most cares about", so, if one's own 'feeling's' are the "most important, and not other's, well, a very small data bank, actually not based on any logic at all, but rather inconsistent constantly changing "feeling's"...

seems it cannot be missed, that logic MUST OVER RIDE the feeling, or much **** shall rain down within any society...

just one cent