what can i do i have a 4yr old and it seams she has no scene of right from wrong and no fear of consequences?

i have tried time out and she wont stay were you put her. shes not listening to me or her stepmother when she goes to visit at her dads its the same way she just gets into what ever sh wants and dose what she wants.

oh and when i sit her down and get here to talk about why she dose this it comes out to she was mad.

if anyone has advice for me please i am at the end of my rope and dont know what to do now

Just a thought...get her tested for ADHD...ask your family Dr about it

She is 4 and trying your patience....she is seeing what buttons work and which of them don't....My youngest son used to drive me crazy...turns out...he was eating too many hot dogs! Took him off of them for 2 weeks and he was a different kid...one that I really liked...lol. Sorry to say, but it gets worse as they get older. Be stern in your decisions with her and make sure everyone involved sticks with the decisions you make. If you all work together, she will see she is outnumbered. Good luck

I agree,That would be a good place to start. J.M.O.

IF she is tested properly...too many docs out there willing to throw pills at kids....my poor grandson walks around like a little zombie these days...hate it!

thanks


do kids typically make up stories at 4? because i talked to her and she says that she dose these things because her stepmother calls her names like idiot and dumb. them she comes home from there i cant handle her cause she tells me she cant love both myself and her stepmother.

Take her to the stepmother and talk about it with the two of them...kids DO make up stories, but it's not always the case. And you need to sit down with her and let her know it is okay to love both of you

I would have said see if beating her butt might make a difference,, but I like your answer better.

The reason I agree is that lots of parents punish a child for such behaveure.And then feel bad that there was realy something wrong.
I as a parent would like to know if they are just being defiant or is there a medical problem that needed to be adressed.

Yes, you should have her checked for ADHD. At LEAST get a book on it. Went through that. She's 14 now and it's still WORK!!!
But, too, maybe look up some stuff on The Nanny or something to figure out some tools. With online and library, there are myriad tools to assist.

we have sat down and talked with my daughter and we have said that its ok for her to love us both but my little girl wont even talk if her step mom and i are there she well if its just me or just her step mom. i just don't know what is going on when shes at her fathers home.

ok so it turns out my ex came to pick up are daughter and when he left i hear him say to her as he put her in the car " what did that c*nt do to your hair" now i know why she calls me that offal world i am so hurt bye this and not sure if i should let him know i heard him or not ???


"Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents...It is much easier to BECOME a father than to actually be one! "

I doubt your child is ADHD but I am not surprised she is having problems adjusting to all the changes of environment in her life. Especially a hostile environment where she is probably hearing you trashed on a chronic basis.

Four year olds are often able to confuse their imagination or hopes with truth. Especially if they are feeling stressed to choose one person over another.

My advice is try to make peace with your child's co-caregivers. Making sure she is well nurished, clean, presentable, on time, and rested when she goes to them. If her Dad has issues with her hair don't jump on him but maybe trying to do something that will be more mutually acceptable. My Ex has an extream hatred for the military so I did not send them on visitation with their favorite camo pj's.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by an out of controll four year old it is likely that both of your lives need to be more structured with regular sleep times and calm nutritious dinners at the table with no TV. Maybe toneing down the environment with less stimulus. Keeping play fun but maybe less rowdy. Four year olds need to learn basic behavior and coping skills more by modeling than anything else.

Watch your child's behavior. If she seems nervous and jittery after being around known allergins or foods you might want to remove them from her life. Good Luck

4 years old is still too young do you not think so ?.
.

i am sure they talk bad about me to her but i dont do this to him because 20 years of my mom and dads fighting and name calling has been enough to keep me from doing this to my kids dad.

He is acting out to you to get you involved in a problem you pretty well know exists but are not addressing.

You just answered yourself!
you don't "try" time out.
You make her do it.
if rules are not enforced.. you let her rule the roost.

let her know that she WILL do as you say...

well is it wrong to put her in her room and put a hock or some thing on the door so she has to stay? or should i try to put her in a stroler that she cant get out of?

because to just put her on a chair and get her to stay you have to sit on her so she cant move then she hits spits or what ever she can to get you to move? i am lost on this i dont know how to make her do as i say to be honest !!

Wow,Now that is out of control.When you put her in time out,Stay as calm as you can.And be very cosistant.She is thinking she rules the roost.Let her know she does NOT!
This will be very hard to do.But stay calm,And every time she get up or off the chair,Put her back on it.Soon she will stop getting off the chair.I would do it all day long if I had to.Once she relizes your not playing around anymore,That will be the begining of her to know that she is the child,NOT the adult! J.M.O