I agree. Don't be too quick to medicate a 4 year old.

I agree again!!!

thanks and i dont want to medicate my 4 yr old i don't believe that thats the problem but her dad is a big part of it.

Maybe this would be a case for positive reinforcment. It's easy to act bad when everyone else is doing it. But the truth is kids naturally want to please their parents. If you reinforce the good behavior, like if no bad words are said, give special time like reading a book together, or a trip to the park, something simple the child enjoys, something to look forward too. And explain at the time bad words are said, that it hurts your feelings and do not approve and have her apologize, then hug and tell her thank you for understanding how this makes you feel and tell her you love her. And drop it. Then start over with the no bad words. But remember kids don't have the attention span adults do... So in order for this to work you have to have patience and be on top of it all the time. I would also speak to the person who says this kind of trash in front of her. Let them know under no certain terms will it be tolerated anymore. This is a form of abuse! Medication only works if the enviroment changes. Positive reinforcment is an enviromental change, be ready though this does not happen over night.

thanks ans i well try that. this time out dose not work she says sorry then in 5 min shes doing it all over again.

thanks a bunch i think this might help but any advice is welcome

A child learns behavior that works. If she is used to pitching a fit or being ignored when she does something it is natural for her to revert back to what behavior she likes. She has a four year head start on you. You may have to redirect her 20+ times but when you show her your will is stronger than hers she will get the idea. Don't waste your breath talking just restrain her from the offensive behavior with as little eye contact possible. She is trying to engage you in her world and so far it is working most often when she does something you do not like. Catch her being good and give her your attention then.

well just a question my daughter has stared a new thing of climbing on the back of my sofa and she jumps off to the floor and some times she dose this and rapes her lags around her brother knocking him down too the more i try to make her stop the more she dose it. i was told one day to just ignore her she will stop but it is the fact she could hurt her younger brother or her self i can just leave it alone and wait for her to stop.

things i have tried is time out she thinks its a joke
i also have also taken her toys away and tv but nothings working anyone got advice ?????????????

Pacific star 48 has offer good advice.

Its no accident that she is acting out. DO NOT PUT HER ON DRUGS FOR IT. I have studied human behavior in a social enviroment and there is alot of red flags. For your childs sake I highly suggest all parties see a counselor and do whatever it takes to give that child a healthy positive enviroment to grow up in.

If not then the outcome will not be good when the teenage years come around. She is going to be looking for that validation from some random guy.

I have 3 kids all under the age of 6. I am single and as you know its not easy. You can email me and we can talk about some positive approaches, but again all parties need to be on the same page.

Again drugs is NOT the answer, she is only 4.........

Time out IS a joke.

Plain and Simple.

I have yet to see a child ( in real life ) that time out actually works for.

I have to strongly disagree with you. It works very well, the thing is you have to be consistant about it. You have to be consistant with everything you do. Next is the taking away of beloved toys, then having them earn it back.

yes, 4 year old's have a great imagination and I would not encourage stifling that...however if she is being mis-treated at all by her step mother that may explain some behaviors. If she is being belittled and called names she is going to act out somehow. May need to talk with Dad and find out what is going on at his house. Her father should be disciplining her... maybe stepmom doesn't want the job..

this is a big problem because my daughter spends more time with her step mom than her dad because he works and hes not there until they are ready to put the kids to bed and so my little girl spends her visit with her stepmother and step brothers and step sister and all of the kids are 4 and under so i get the my exs wife has her hands full with her 3 kids really to add a 4th child for her to take care of must be difficult i dont think i could handle 4 kids ages 4, 3 ,2 and 6 months i would louse my mind am sure.