Ok, since I can't sleep, I'm gonna offer you a story .

It's pretty much like "Ripley's believe it or not" but it could be a good Hitchcock or Agathe Christie book of suspense thriller with a big turn on the end.

Imagine a couple who got together on a promise to make good money..but it was actually a bit one sided, since the it was the guy who was promising a better life in the future. She fell for it and went along, being a bit fool and naive, being 22 years old, while the guy was already 38.
So the story goes that the guy feel madly in love with her, while she only like him as an idea and being very naive about the whole relationship, she began to fake the love. So as time went buy, somehow the problems began to surface few years down the road. First time it was when the guy told her to marry him and she refused. Later on things got uglier...fights broke out more frequently and fights became more violent.
Eventually the entire relationship went cold and by the 8th year of being together, they couldn't even stand each others' sight. And yet they couldn't go separate from each other.

The girl began to date guys, but only do it when he wasn't around, gone working and she would sleep with them...while he was working. The guy, who was actually still in love with her somewhat..tried to help her out as best as he could, even though she offered no reward and she was also unemployed so she could not stand on her feet. She tried to get a job, but she ended up going from one to another because simply she got used to being taken care of and she just didn't want to work. This was already 8 years later and she was already 30.
The guy found out about her sleeping around eventually, heard it from friends and obvious signs in her behavior.

If you would listen to her side of the story, and let's assume that this is the only thing you would hear for a while and you are sure you are hearing the truth. (more on this later)

She tells a story of being blinded by money and fortune first, and later she just wanted to end the relationship, but just couldn't.
According to her, the guy was abusive and threatened her, that if she tries to leave, he will find her and kill her.

He threatened her and beat her several times, almost choke her to death once, because she tried to "escape" from the house, and the reason she was quickly tried to find someone is to rescue her from him and she offered everything, even sleeping with the date , just take her away from this monster.

So...at this point, if you are the person hearing the story, you are completely mad and raging and you might even want to call the police and so on..to arrest this beast, but then she also tells, that this is already past behind them and they are in peace and no more threats anymore and he (her once boyfriend) is no threat and it would be very unwise to contact police, plus after the many years of together, he wasn't always like this and she doesn't want him to be arrested.

So you agree not to do anything, just leave the whole thing alone, although you are (if you are a man) keep thinking about catching this guy at a moment he isn't looking and give him a few punches and kicks for what he has done to her over the years.

So you (the new boyfriend) start dating her, and it seems like a perfect relationship about to develop and yet there are signs start to show that she "sometimes" isn't telling the truth.
There is something about her she is either not telling or there is just that feeling in your gut, that she either plays a game really well or you met a person who is just a bit "weird" after coming out such a shocking and scary relationship and she just needs time.

So you go along, and yet there are some moments, when you feel very happy together, and yet there are now even more signs of her just not telling the truth about many things and now you feel like she might not even be in love with you, because she just takes various things granted and some very crucial moments, she isn't even around for you.

Eventually, things go worse and you are deeply saddened, because now you realized that - indeed- she doesn't love you at all, and you try to figure out, whether she played a game with you, or it is just that she is incapable to love or doesn't understand what it is, due to being in that terrible relationship, emotionally wiped her loving capability out; scarred her emotionally; and left her to be like an empty shell of a person, who is now incapable for real love and trust.

And then the relationship goes down the drain. You just can't understand that after the relationship is over, she is just so cruel..not sure if you did something wrong or just unable to understand how could such a good thing, like it has started out go so sour and regardless of what happened to her, she is downright cruel with you, even after you broke up.


Later on you end up talking to her friends..and hell..sine you got nothing to loose, you go talk to her previous boyfriend and sit down and things begin to get a lot clearer.
....


and Here comes the biggest twist you are not prepared for...
I wonder if some of you can figure it out, just what the hell was going on...

...I'll wait for a few responses than I'll will reveal the truth for you all..

I will also tell you if I made up this whole story or if it really happened.

Gosh, Im gonna guess since her excuse for messing around on the last guy was to escape from some perceived abuse....perhaps the reason she got WITH him was for the same reason. Im gonna guess she has a history of perceived abuse,,,

Ok, 13 looks and only one dared to guess.. thumbs up for MissHarmony

Surprisingly the truth is a lot more weird than you think.

So you the guy, after the failed relationship with her, start talking to her "friends" and you end up talking to this "monster" (her past "abusive" boyfriend) , because you just don't care anymore and you feel like you've been played on.

Here comes the twist.

Everything she said was a lie.


It was actually HER, who kept the guy on a short leash. The guy (the supposed "monster") was deeply in love with her, and she took him granted, and when she couldn't get what she wanted, she started to throw everything at his head (words and real objects too) and the guy was afraid to do anything and there is no way he wanted to break up with her, because even though she just used him for support, he loved her so much, that he was willing to work and pay for everything she wanted, just to stay with her. Eventually the guy lost his job and had to get another job, which paid a lot less, and that's when she decided to start looking for a new date, but didn't want to go too far from this guy, because he was still buying her stuff and paying the bills and she wanted to be sure to find someone, who makes more money and she can continue to live off of a new person, but just kick it up a notch higher.

She was not looking for love, she was not abused, it was her who abused the guy..by keeping him as a slave, holding him on the single fact, that the guy was so deeply in love with her, that he would do everything for her, even though she was a nightmare. Not a word true about him being abusive, and not a word true about keeping her "locked" inside the house and the guy never raised hand on anyone in his entire life. He made a big mistake of picking her up, because she was all about money from the start, while he thought, he can make a relationship and maybe she will fall in love with him over the time, but things got a lot worse and now he couldn't escape of her.

Other friends confirmed the guy's side of the story being the reality.

This story is also true. I was the guy who dated this girl for 5 months and I figured out all the lies and ended up going after the real story after she was gone. To tell you the truth, some of these women can be very deceiving and might want to make you almost become aggressive about her past exes, but keep an open mind all the time and lower your sword and ask questions before you strike, because the truth might be entirely different than what you may believe or being told from only one source.

Wow, I was way off......yep, women can be jerks and users too.

well i missed the story before the answer but i tend to find people get into bad relationships for a reason. When i go on dates and a woman tels me what a slime ball their ex was it makes me think they are a slime ball too! Birds of feather flock together!

Every relationship is a learning lesson. Even the smartest of us can be deceived. All we can do is move on and hope it doesn't happen again.

I've noticed that it's the people who have been through the worst hell who are the most empathetic to others and nice to be around.

I have exes who were slimeballs. I have exes who were decent guys and I'm still friends with today. It's best not judge people too quickly.

I agree Ruth. Hubba, hubba to the picture.

I better go change it back. Don't want all these guys gettin' all excited over nothing.

This guy she dated was no slime ball. He grew up in an orphan home until age 18 and worked in his entire life. His fault was, not being able to break the relationship, he didn't have anybody, all he had was a picture of his mother, no idea who was his father. Even his name was off, after searching for his mother, he find her in a graveyard and he changed his last name to his mothers' maiden name.


After I talked to him, I felt sorry for him, and also everything became a lot clearer and suddenly 1+1 was 2 again. She started to become less attached to me, when I began to have less work and I made less money, somehow I didn't want to believe that she would be only there for me if I have money so I thought I was doing something wrong.

Terrible and sad story, could make a good movie though..


Later on, I have heard from her...I guess karma caught up with her, because she had a terrible luck getting a new boyfriend and she was living in a ghetto..only making enough money to buy food.

yeah i should of explained myself better! I was speaking of long term relationships, not dating or being burned once and then moving on. I meant people who saty in bad relationships with slime balls. Something is wrong with a person if they just take a abuse! Not to say you won't feel sorry for them or that they are not a nice person but as a mate???? I would not really want to date someone thats a door mat sorry!

Honestly sounds a lot like my relationshiop with my ex-wife forgave for for cheating twice on me and kept her around(I know glutton for punishment)...


But there is a line that couldn't ever be crossed she slept with my little brother and two other guys while I was on deployment...


Found out later she told the guys that I had been abusive towards her and this and that none of it true she was just playing the 'pity' or 'damsel in distress' game. Guys are natural protectors and the idea of a 'damsel in distress' is an outlet for that.

Since then I will NEVER NEVER NEVER get involved with any girl that is a 'damsel in distress' I'll make a phone call or recommend a counseling center but i won't be the 'other guy' no way no how.

My advice, if they are involved STAY THE HELL AWAY!

I completely agree with that.

I think we have all been tricked by a member of the opposite sex at one time or another. My ex-husband was the "poor victim" with an evil ex-wife who terrorized him. Or so I beleieved for years. Until I found out the truth and actually became his victim. I was in denial for a very long time but I eventually got out and now I know the truth.

Expeiences like that can make us better and wiser people. Unfortunately, they also make us very cynical and likely to pass up good people in the future. I know that's my problem. I trust no one and I don't really know if I can get past that. Or if I even want to try.

Well by the time I got to read this you had in fact already posted the follow up.

I was in fact going to say that she was lying about it all. Due to the fact of they story she said about him being abusive and would hunt her down and kill her if she left. Fact is if he found out she was sleeping around behind his back he would have done those things as well.

It is sad that some take advantage of others as they do. When ever you find one that the material things seem to mean more to them then being together it is always a red flag. When they are not there at times that you need them it is a red flag.

And her excuse that she could not find a job well it is different if you know in fact they are even looking.

But the moral of the story is never never date another that is in fact living with someone the story is never what you think it is. They will lie just to make the other one look bad in order for them to look better. So many give the same ole story well we have two different bed rooms we don't ever have sex they don't like it and don't want me to touch them. When in reality that is all a lie they are still sleeping together as always and the one at home is blinded by their love they have for them to know anything is even happening. Sad but true................

Sorry you were at the end of that story but ya know it takes a strong person to admit they have been toyed with and I do admire you for that. Now the trick is to learn to get past the heartache and learn to put it in the past and move on.

What ever you do don't let this one spoil it for the next one that catches your heart..................

Agreed Kristi. Most people have some baggage as we experience life. The trick is not letting that experience have power over your future. I know that's easier said than done. While I regret what I may have went through, I am still going to be open to the what ifs that come my way. Don't give up your future because of a "learning experience" that happened in your past.

Best advice of all.

Speaking as someone who has truly been victimized, I don't like to accept help even though I really do need it at times, particularly from someone I am dating or would potentially date. Besides the fact that I like to stand on my own two feet, I would never want them to think that I was interested in them for anything other than themselves. The one time that I did accept assistance it made me uncomfortable and it wasn't that big on his part. I guess what I am saying is if they ask for or are very eager to accept your help you should see red flags everywhere and hear loud alarms going off. But don't jugde them for being a victim, it can happen to anyone.