Topic: hitting a woman, is one time too many?
no photo
Wed 12/02/09 01:45 PM



I know I'm feeding myself to sharks by saying this...

I choked the **** out of my ex-girlfriend with both hands when she insulted my dead father (who gave her a place to live and fed her) two months after he died, when she was the only one I confided my pain in.

My feeling, truly, is that it is unfair to INSTIGATE violence against women.

But it is equally unfair for a woman to instigate confrontation with a man under the umbrella of "I'd never hit a woman..."

If it's an issue, get the **** out of the situation.

Okay... sharks start biting...


I'm assuming this isn't the same one who enjoys the platonic naps, is it?


Sadly, yes...

Reflecting on my action it is sickening.

But it was because we shared so much and she was one of the only people I knew that met my dad that made me so ****ing angry when she went out of her way to insult him a couple months after we burnt him up for cremation. Went out of her way.

And so did I.

Looking back, it's regrettable.
I don't like imposing my will on the weaker, which she was (at least physically).

It kinda makes me sick, actually, thinking about that night...

I guess that would be one of my few regrets.

But she went out of her way to insult the man that saved me from certain death for 20 years for no discernible reason.

I shouldn't have touched her. The situation was toxic, and unnecessary. It was my inability to detach from her and my feverous hunger to connect to anybody now that my best friend was dead that led me to strike out.

I didn't hit her. I choked her. It wasn't fair.

I regret, now recalling it.

I don't think a girl or woman ever has the right to be "assaulted" physically under any circumstances other than the opposing party instigating physical violence.

For the record, earlier today this same girl bought me a beer for my birthday.


Interesting relationship.....

mssilverfox's photo
Wed 12/02/09 01:52 PM
I have know women that are very abusive toward their husbands/boyfriends, so its not only men.. NO one has the right to abuse another person, walk away or get out no matter how hard it is.. It just won't work.. If it happens once, it will happen again and again...

TxsSun's photo
Wed 12/02/09 01:55 PM
I was abused for 6 years. After the first, second, third and etc, I kept telling myself it would stop. Guess what? It NEVER did.

Yes, once is too many. It only makes it easier for the next.

Gator76's photo
Wed 12/02/09 02:03 PM
Yes....one time is too many. And quite frankly...it's never going to be just one time!

CatsLoveMe's photo
Wed 12/02/09 02:18 PM
So someone opened up a DV thread I see. Good to see some people have opened their eyes to toxic relationships, and that women DO hit men, and they get away with it repeatedly. VAWA laws in this country inspired by feminist activists have corrupted our nation's justice system. There is a group called R.A.D.A.R. that is trying to combat this travesty in our justice system.

msharmony's photo
Wed 12/02/09 02:24 PM
Im against hitting as an offense, but never as a defense. If someone hits you,, regardless of gender, I dont consider you a horrible person to hit them back. Of course, the bigger person(in character) will not, but it should not be gender based.

As far as the domestic situations, I believe that one time is too many because even one time(offensively) is obviously wrong. But I think people can make mistakes that they learn from and I dont believe that it will automatically follow that this person will be abusive. It just depends upon the individual and what is important to them, and if they are remorseful enough to stop the behavior.


SitkaRains's photo
Wed 12/02/09 02:24 PM
In my line of work, one of the facts I try to drive home. D.V. IS NOT GENDER BIAS IT IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR. Any learned behavior can be changed if a person wants it bad enough.

Bottom line, striking another person is never acceptable, everyone at that point has a choice to walk way.

One of the things that alot of people don't take into consideration by the time then first act of physical violence has happened the slow eroding of the self esteem has gone on for along time.

Til it happened to me I could never understand how women or men couldn't just get up and walk away. I know this is going to sound weird and it still does to me. I am in an odd sort of way thankful of what I went through, I now have compassion for an insight into helping others.

I commend you for never ever hitting a woman, I also say never ever let them hit you.

4974's photo
Wed 12/02/09 02:29 PM
well duh, if anyone post different then there an a$$

Quietman_2009's photo
Wed 12/02/09 03:24 PM
unless she comes after you with a knife

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 03:26 PM

unless she comes after you with a knife


That's when you shoot her.:wink: laugh

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 03:29 PM
If a male hits a woman, he is NO kind of man!!! Unless(I agree) she has a knife or a huge weapon, WALK AWAY!!!!!!!!! Any male that hits a lady in front of me BETTER get ready to get hit back by a man!!!rant

silly's photo
Wed 12/02/09 03:51 PM

If a male hits a woman, he is NO kind of man!!! Unless(I agree) she has a knife or a huge weapon, WALK AWAY!!!!!!!!! Any male that hits a lady in front of me BETTER get ready to get hit back by a man!!!rant

and that is just one of the many reasons that I love u.


Quietman_2009's photo
Wed 12/02/09 03:57 PM
I hit a girl once

I was 6

msharmony's photo
Wed 12/02/09 04:22 PM
I raise my son and daughter that if they hit someone, be prepared to get hit back. I am not putting a gender based qualifier in that lesson. If either of them hit someone, male or female, and get hit back,, I will not at all be upset except that they started the fight in the first place.

Atlantis75's photo
Wed 12/02/09 04:28 PM
Edited by Atlantis75 on Wed 12/02/09 04:29 PM
I have never got hit by a woman..only my mom, but that's fine, I was a little devil. She can hit me anytime she wants to.

There is no excuse hitting a woman. You're not supposed to get into a situation, when a woman wants to hit you, because that means you're damn bastard.

If you aren't a damn bastard, but still a woman wants to hit you, then it's still your fault, because you are dating a nutcase woman.

Why I'm talking about woman hitting is, so you can't claim that she tried to hit you.


Either way, you're a damn bastard for hitting women, and if you claim that it "hurts" then you are a damn wussy. And if you hit a woman, I don't care what reason you got, you have been noted by me...don't let your path cross mine.

msharmony's photo
Wed 12/02/09 04:35 PM

I have never got hit by a woman..only my mom, but that's fine, I was a little devil. She can hit me anytime she wants to.

There is no excuse hitting a woman. You're not supposed to get into a situation, when a woman wants to hit you, because that means you're damn bastard.

If you aren't a damn bastard, but still a woman wants to hit you, then it's still your fault, because you are dating a nutcase woman.

Why I'm talking about woman hitting is, so you can't claim that she tried to hit you.


Either way, you're a damn bastard for hitting women, and if you claim that it "hurts" then you are a damn wussy. And if you hit a woman, I don't care what reason you got, you have been noted by me...don't let your path cross mine.



Wait now,, so whats good for the goose isnt good for the gander? If the assumption that a woman hits you because it is your fault for being a bastard or dating a nutcase,, why cant the same justification exist if the man hits the woman? Would you assume the woman must be a witch or otherwise to blame for dating a nutcase?

I think if you hit someone you should not be appalled or surprised when they hit you back,,being female doesnt give one a free pass...at least not with me.

wux's photo
Wed 12/02/09 07:51 PM
A guy once got acquitted from murder charges because his wife was a nagger, and he put earphones on to not hear her nagging, and she peeled the phones off his head, and nagged, and he lost control and choked her to death.

The court found him not guilty, but I forgot why: Because it was found he temporarily lost his mind after a lifetime of nagging, or because they found it justified what he did.

No, it cannot be the second one. Life is more precious in the eye of the law than to find a murder "justifiable".

Quietman_2009's photo
Wed 12/02/09 07:58 PM
Edited by Quietman_2009 on Wed 12/02/09 07:59 PM
I tried to hit papersmile once

but it didnt do any good

she kicked my azz anyway

wux's photo
Wed 12/02/09 07:59 PM
I got hit by a woman (girl) in Grade seven in dance school, because I uttered an inappropriate joke; I got hit by my aunt on the face because she was a c*nt; she also threw small objects at me when she felt like it; she once extinguished her cig in my tea.

On the upside, I got hit on by a woman called Anna, another one Barbara, Cecylia, Donna, Emma, Frida, Georgia, Hilda, Ida, Jemma, Kanna, Layla, Minna, Nina, Olga, Petra, Quota, Rhonda, Sandra, Tina, Ulma, Wanda, Xaveria, Yetta and Zita.

This last name, Zita, is not a made-up bad name. The wife of the last reigning king of Hungary and the last reigning Kaiser of Austria had the first name Zita.

no photo
Wed 12/02/09 08:14 PM
I have seen it go BOTH WAYS,,,,When I was a kid,,the drunks across the street fought every night,,,my dad worked nights thank GOD,,,
This ladies boyfriend,,after their fight would come and knock on our door,,,dirty old holes in it white tee-shirt,,with NOW blood all over-it,,he was drunk and mentally slow,,,he would show me a piece of his ear,,in hand,,,and be asking me if he could call the police,,,he called them,,they came,,she fought them all,in a day dress w/o any undies on underneath,,,and they would wrestle her down on the dirt,,and cuff her and take her to jail.
THIS was a every other week ordeal,,as I was about nine or ten,,,
My mom was sleeping,,,,most times,,as she worked hard all day.

So,,yes,,,men hit women and women hi men,,,but it all STARTS

somewhere,,,and its in THAT thought,,,that person should just say
ITS OVER,,GOODBYE,,,,,

That poor guy who really did lose part of his ear,,,he was a very nice man,,,,he just let her abuse him,,as he wouldn't hurt her.
I grew to see that and know his whys,,,as for her,,,she was a very
mean person,,,inside,,,,she must have lived a very rough childhood
to be the wild lady she was,,while drinking...

FOLKS,,,,,NO EXCUSE, COVERS PAIN CAUSED BY YOU TO THEM!

I grew,,,w/o sleep,,as I was beat,,,then mom,,,then spent the rest of the night praying for GOD to take my dad,,,and then having to hear him tell her,,ALWAYS,,,I was drunk,,i didn't mean to,,,and so on,,,NO CHILDREN should ever have to see, or hear,,,THAT SHLZT.

So,,if its happening,,,GET AWAY,,,,
and if you meet someone and they seem real nice,,,and he takes you out,,and at one point he says something LAUD AND BOSSY,,,or he
SHOWS you he can smack a hole in the wall on your way out,,,just for shlt and giggles,,,,,LOSE THIS MAN,,FAST,,please..