Hi all,

I just wanted to pose a question to you guys...If you were in a relationship for years with an individual who has not made any strides in their life; by that I mean being comfortable in the same type of job that they have had for years (not making enough money) to lead a decent life together. Yet the other person is continually making strides in their life (post-graduate school, searching for more meaningful/gainful employment) and enjoying what life has to offer. Do you stay with someone because you are comfortable with them and not fully happy with the relationship?

The issue has been brought to their attention but it's always the same reply..."I'm gonna do this...I'm gonna do that"... extensive lies to hold on to the person. When is enough actually enough?

If your not happy....leave

If her $ex is good i'm keeping her no matter what

Etrain is it really that easy for you to move on? Just wondering...

No matter what huh

Body odour.
Bad manners.
He slept with your friend.
He slept with your non-friend.
He slept with your non-friends dog.
He slapped me.
He slapped my mother....wait nope not that one.

Yes it is booze helps

Personally I would rather see the person I am with making less money but happy rather than making more money and being miserable.
I guess what I am saying is I would love the person more than money.JMO

Those are some very good reasons!!

Perhaps that person is happy with what they're doing? Maybe they don't want to cause rifts and tell you that they like what they're doing, they are perfectly happy and to get off their back.. I haven't looked at your profile but my first assumption is that it's a male you're talking about.. Which is usually who won't argue will just appease you with what you want to hear...

IF you're not happy with their job and you want more out of them then my opinion is you should be with someone who has the same drive/desires as you... It's not fair to ask someone to do all that "you" want in life if it's not what will make them happy...

Why can't you move up and do what you want to do and let them contribute what they do? Why do they have to contribute all that you do? If you love them you'll accept them for what they offer you in all aspects of your life, if not then you'll never be happy and if they do things to try to make you happy they'll never be happy.. That doesn't sound fair or right to me...

I'm not saying what you want is wrong by any means.. I completely understand your desires and drives, but maybe the person you're trying to bend to your will isn't the one that can help you/walk side by side with you to achieve the goals/desires that you have...

That's how I have felt up to this point...but there are basic needs that have to be met, how much should you take up the slack?

Not a guy here but my one cent is that a woman who is still going places is going to be a hard relationship to have. She really doesn't have time to invest in the relationship. A settled woman who is happy where she is, is going to be more capable of investing time and energy into a relationship.


Not saying it cannot be done here, it is just more difficult.

If you don't love him enough to accept him as he is then it might be time to end the relationship

I agree with you a hundred percent but it's not like I have not expressed my feeling to them. I have told them it would be better to go our own ways...but they feel the need to try and hold on. I would be happier as just friends at this point in my life.

Unfortunately, only "you" can make that change.. If you're not getting what you want then you are not happy... If you set a timeline and both agree to it and it's not met then what choice do you have?

I'd rather be single than unhappy... I'd rather hurt someone for a short time for their happiness and mine if that's what it must be..

Of course that's me... Not everyone's cup of tea...

Your thoughts are very true, I have to make a decision that will be fair to the both of us.

ZeeZee i would suppose it would come down to wether you love this person or not. Love should come before the bank. It shouldn't matter as much what job you have, what car you drive, what kind of house you live in ... as long as there is love involved. Not to say the person shouldn't pull their own weight; they should. But beyond that ... being with someone because of reasons besides your feelings for each other is just plain dysfunctional.

That's true.

I guess thats a question only you can answer. But no relastionship is perfect,so you have to figure out whats more important to you.
If you think you are better off with or without them.

Best reason to get out....is cause you dont want to be there any more.